Teacher trying to involve my child to report incident

[Flowergold12]

Hello everyone, I need some advice to support my child’s rights involving a situation.

My child witnessed a group of children in her classroom watching another child expose a private part. The child that did this encouraged the other children to stroke, touch this part and used some language which was too out of context. The children are in lower year Primary.

I reported this over the phone and the Head of Early Years, amongst other things, said that my child would possibly have to make a statement.

I refused. My reasoning being that she has been involved in bullying since beginning here, this has involved physical marks and I feel that her having to do this too is a step too far for her mental well-being. She is 5 years old.
It was also taken into the direction that ‘my child should have spoken about it’.
I reinforced the fact that it is not her unbound duty to speak about something that she does not understand about, that she was a mixture of confused, scared, and didn’t know if it was right or wrong.

The teacher continued to press that she would be taken off site and spoken to on her own.

I still stated no, and any decisions made I must be informed first and for it to be decided on.

I have worked within education previously and I feel that I am well within my rights to refuse this, but I just need this to be confirmed as it has been some time ago.

With thanks

Surely this is about the child exposing him or herself? I agree with you entirely.

I do understand your anxiety, and you are well within your rights to say no.

Surely they should begin by talking to the group of children who watched the child? That should be evidence enough?

I'm not quite sure what your concerns are about this. Is it that your dd could be bullied for 'telling tales' or is it that she could be traumatised by being asked about it? Or is it about being taken off site and possibly being made to feel in trouble?

I'm not saying that your concerns are wrong. You know your dd best but I'm sure you can understand the importance for the children involved (especially if one is being abused) of getting a first hand statement from the eye witnesses.

Is there a way you can help your dd to do this without it being frightening or stressful. e.g. being present when they talk to her? The school should gently and individually ask all the children who were in the group what happened not just your dd so there shouldn't be any feeling of your dd being singled out.

Thanks for all your replies.
Haffdonga I agree with your concerns but I am entirely sure that this will have too much of a negative impact on my child. Her speech has already began regressing amongst other things. I do understand that there is a child at possible risk here, but the main word is ‘possible’. And I feel that I have reported enough there for them to act upon it to investigate further or supported.
The Teacher gave the reason that there ‘is 80 children and so it is difficult’ and I tried to express that then more staff could be on site as a first measure, not for my child to be made the centre of it.
I just require to find out if I am within my rights to refuse it really and we will take it from there.

Move her to another school.

I am not sure about legal rights here so sorry I can't help with that, but I would never allow my child to be taken off site (as if a criminal) and spoken to by god knows who and in what way. I would not allow anyone to question them without me being there. Surely they should start with the children that were actually involved

I don’t know whether you are within your rights to refuse, possibly not given that your dd was witness to a safeguarding issue.

My dc has been the victim of severe and sustained bullying. The entire class was interviewed by the head of safeguarding and I cannot tell you how grateful I am to all those children who spoke up for my dc and got the bully banged to rights.

Let your daughter speak up.

Sounds like being ‘interviewed’ would not be good for your child so you are well within your rights to refuse. This should not be put on a 5 yr olds shoulders. It’s not her responsibility.

I would not allow anyone to question them without me being there.

This 100%. Your poor DD. But I absolutely don't think that she needs to make a statement on this subject at this age. Your making a statement should be sufficient. IMHO.

Thanks for your replies. I will not go into too much detail over how much she has encountered in regards to her own bullying but it has got to the point where she does not tell me anymore and I only find out by asking her doubtlessly after I have noticed marks in the bath. This is nearly a daily occurrence. The fact that she does chooses to not confine me about this, I very much know that she will not disclose anything about this incident to anyone outside of the house. I really do not feel a child of 5 should be made to do this Personally but I appreciate all your views.

Countlessly*