Child very allergic and looking for good school in north London

[snazzywife]

Hi,

I have a son who is allergic to many things (all tree nuts, eggs, dairy and other foods) and we carry Epipens.
We are currently looking for a suitable private school for him (nursery, reception onwards) We are in Edgware.

We want a good nurturing school but most importantly has a good pastoral care and sensitive to allergy issues.

I know schools generally have a good guidelines for allergies but when we went to look for one of the very good schools we are got me a little worried (hence posting a thread for any adivice). For example they have birthday cakes for all children in the class room (so approx 20 cakes which means around every fortnight or so), provides buttered bread for snacks along fruits and roasts marshmallows etc etc. Things that are all allergic to my child.

I just want to make sure that my son enjoys his school and not feel left out. And most importantly that I can communicate well with the school to prevent any serious allergic reactions.

Any advise or if you have a child who is also very allergic and have any experiences please help.

pretty much all schools are entirely nut free and many are also palm oil and kiwi free too. However, I would think it’s unrealistic to expect them to also be dairy free because of allergies. Realistically you’ll have to expect that other children will have birthday cakes and food that your child can’t eat. It will be a matter of you training your child that they can’t eat anything at school without discussing with the teacher and to provide packed lunch and safe foods for your child to have when the other children have birthday cake or treats (teachers can usually keep a stock of food and treats your child can have.

All schools will take allergies seriously and will have full details easily visible of children with allergies

Changed my ID for this question as I don't want to out myself.

I think most decent schools would be able to cope with this. My child is at Highgate and they do the following:

• no nuts anywhere in the school as standard
• all allergies catered for at lunch. Pictures of children with severe allergies are stuck up in the kitchen so that staff know exactly who has to avoid what. Choice for those with allergies such as dairy will obviously be more limited than for others but I know that, for example, the son of a friend of mine who is allergic to dairy and egg happily had a school lunch every day without any issues arising (and not just pasta every day!) I know of a couple of children with more complex allergies than that and they also eat a school lunch.
• in the lower years, where people sometimes bring in birthday cakes etc, it was common for the mum of the allergic child to provide the teacher with some suitable equivalent treats at the start of term (eg mini bags of jelly sweets). The allergic child would then be given one of these suitable treats while the others have cake. I think in recent years the school has also asked people to stop bringing cakes in.

I suspect they do a lot more as well that isn't on my radar. TBH allergies are so common these days that I would expect any school to have firm policies in place and to be able to cope with the sorts of allergies your child has. He definitely won't be the only one. Most children are also now very allergy-aware and won't think your son is odd if he's having something different- sadly it's all too common.

Definitely something to ask about during open days, but I really wouldn't feel that you need to limit the schools you look at.

My ds has severe food allergy, and sometimes he is surrounded by something he is fatal. It's fine, since he isn't affected by it unless he touches or consume it.
Is his allergy affected by airbourn allergens?

Feeling left out is something you can work on by communicating with school, and providing alternatives.

Thank you guys. Very helpful and encouraging.

@irvineonehone - it’s so hard. I’m not sure if he is affected by airborne stuff, probably not but he randomly has some reactions from nowhere because he possibly touched something.

Yes will definitely ask the schools more when visiting on an open day.

Any further comments please keep posting as this is my first experience as a mum with allergic child (I don’t have allergies myself) so this is all very new to me.

I know it' really scary and worrying. But school is generally experienced with children with allergies.

At first, I had phone calls from school asking what to do or to come in.
Yes, the residue of the allergen from other children can cause reactions, but it wasn't severe in my ds's case, but teachers were unsure, so got called in few times.
Over the years, they got used to it, also ds got older, so he can tell if nothing to worry.

Communication is the key. They may do some activities that may involve what he is allergic to, like cooking.
My ds had no major issue at school for last 6 years in primary.

My children’s private nursery and state school are strictly nut free, provide parents with a list of ‘banned’ foods at school and absolutely do not allow birthday cakes or treats to be brought in on special days. Other than children who bring in a pack lunch, the only food consumed on the premises is prepared there. There are charts in key areas of the classroom, kitchen and school office with photos of children with allergies/medical conditions and info where to locate their epipen.

Talk to the schools about their management of these conditions and ask for examples on what they do now. I am sure they would also be happy to receive advice on how to improve their procedures.

I think you're right to be concerned. I know my DS's school is nut free but the children bring in snacks and while we're told not to bring in nuts it's not particularly stressed - I can easily imagine some parents forgetting.

A decent school would be able to up it's game though when dealing with a child with a known serious allergy.

For any of my students with food allergies, I have always asked the parents to supply something that their child can eat. Some bring in lollipops, others will bring in cakes or slices that I can freeze. If I know cake is coming in, I make sure there is a suitable item available for that child.

The Anaphylaxis Association does not recommend that schools declare themselves to be "Nut Free" as it can encourage complacency and stop school staff checking that food is safe for a particular child to eat.