DS being taunted by class bully - sorry long post

[Sammy3]

I'm almost at my wits end with this. There's a boy with an SEN in DS' class who has caused problems throughout his time at school. I think because of his SEN, the school have always allowed him to get away with bad behaviour. But now in Yr4, he's out of control. According to DS, he swears, picks on other children & calls his teacher all sorts of vile names. Even his teacher & headmistress admit that he's a particular problem & the head even told me that she thinks he'll have a rude awakening at middle school. I'm not sure what his SEN relates to (he seems mildly autistic to me) but I don't think the school have managed it at all well.

He has been picking on DS lately: calling him names (including racist ones) & hitting him when the teacher isn't looking. When I've discussed it with his teacher/head in the past, they've said they were doing something about it, but nothing's changed. They've even hinted that DS can give as good as he can get name-calling-wise. That may be true but it's really all DS can do to protect himself. He's never hit back because the school would come down on him like a ton of bricks if he did (not so for the boy in question). DS winds up in the red zone if he does anything wrong, but the other boy seems to get away with everything. Today the boy hit DS twice & DS told the teacher both times to no avail. DS is fed up of telling the teacher since she just ignores him & the boy continues; then eventually DS will say something back & the boy complains, which lands DS in the red zone. I'm on the verge of telling DS to hit him back but they'd probably exclude DS!!!

Sorry for the long rant.

Your poor ds.I'd tell the school that they have a duty to lok after your child during school hours and that if they do not start taking that duty seriously then you will be making a formal complaint.Also make sure your ds sees you standing up and telling them they cannot have one rule for one child and another for another child.
It sounds to me as though the school are more interested in an easy life.Maybe the SEN childs parents have been v.verbal with the school in past and the teachers are being made to act this way.Whatever is causing them to act the way they are do something before your child gets seriously hurt.At the rate things sound to be going maybe your son not being at that school would be better for him.
My apologies if this seems harsh but my son was treated badly in nursery by teachers who wouldn't believe that girls can be bullies.He is now HE and has been ever since so my advice is from the perspective of someone who has opted out of having to deal with the education system.Maybe not much help as I don't deal with this stuff but how I would react if was in this situation that you sadly have found yourself in

Agree with singinmum. You have to demand that the school deal with this problem. It's not fair that your ds is being bullied like this.

The school appears to be failing both children. They have a duty to protect your son AND to provide a proper education for both boys. If the other boy has SEN, they are clearly not supporting him properly.

I think you need to call a meeting with the headteacher and go in with notes so you don't get fobbed off. Write down all the incidents, what happened and the sequence of events (ie child x did y, ds told teacher, no response or insufficient response). Tell them what you want them to do to protect ds and provide him with a proper education and make them draw up a list of actions with dates attached. Obviously listen to them too but don't let them get away with excuses. And then write a note of the the meeting and send it to the head, his form teacher and the chair of governors, including the action list and deadlines.

Take in a copy of the Dept for Education's guidance on bullying, too, should be available on DFES website.

Thanks for your advice. DS moves on to middle school in Sept. & I'm planning to move, hopefully before then. I've no intention of staying in our current town since I feel let down by his school (no just because of their inability to deal with bad behaviour but also because DS is very bright & they haven't stretched him at all since he's been there - he finds school incredibly easy & is often bored of his classes). It's so close to the end of term that I thought at least DS will be rid of him soon. But, after today, I'd had it. I'm just leaving work so I'll have a chat with DS & write it all down so that I'm prepared for my next bout with his teacher/head.

The funny thing is that the school were praised in their recent Ofsted inspection for how well they educate SEN children.