Any tips to help my 5 year old and school behavior

[MRSMARMITE3]

Had a meeting at school with my little boys teacher and she also then mentioned his behavior. Apparently he's quite disruptive and acts like the rules don't apply to him.
For instance every lunch time he keeps going round the side of the building where he's not allowed and they have to tell him this over and over as he keeps doing it. He won't sit at carpet time, he messes about alot etc etc. I'm trying to reinforce how he must behavior at school.
Please tell me I'm not the only one! And trying to get him to read after school is so hard. He won't look at the book, and just prats around (surprising he's not like that with his teacher when reading). I find it so stressful but I need to do reading with him 3x a week. He's also having speech therapy so I've got to get him to do the tasks for that three times a week which he equally hates.
I keep reading forcing reading on a child when they are not interested will make them hate it but not sure how else to proceed

Please don't worry. Many parents go through the same thing. They are so young. Some are just not ready. As long as you cooperate with teacher and try to help him, he will get there when he is ready.
If he is refusing to read, you reading to him and talk about the story is good enough, imo. Try to find a book which interest him. Magazine, fact books, etc.

Ok, so he doesn't like sitting still, reading or practising speech therapy. Fair enough!
I would turn it round and find things he does like and use them as incentives. For example, my DD2 loves superheroes. So we taught her to read with Spiderman flashcards, super hero magazines etc - and I sought out any phonics books involving flying, fighting, capes etc. And we had a super hero sticker chart for when she was good with a treat at the end.
Also keep an eye on enough sleep, enough outside time galloping around, not too much screen time- these all helped my child behave at about that age. She did also want to please, so if that applies to your DS then maybe he will respond to you regularly asking the teacher in front of him if he has been good or not and making a massive fuss if he has been?

Is he Y1? To be honest this is quite normal for little boys (especially the younger ones). They're a bit too young for formal education have a lot of energy, aren't built for sitting still and have poor impulse control.There's no magic cure. What helps usually is short term positive rewards (e.g. sticker charts they earn through out the day, at the end of the day if they have enough there's a treat). As much exercise as possible before or after school, good diet, enough sleep. Ultimately though they just need time to get older and more mature.

My ds found reading really difficult and the double hit of speech therapy was a lot for him. We used to do a lot of reading together so I would read a bit and then he would read a bit. It took the pressure off, helped him get the story as a whole and was much more positive.

What is the speech therapy for? - is his hearing / understanding of speech ok? Could he be being challenging because he is finding school a bit tricky?

Yes he's in year one. The speech therapy is just got sp and l sounds as he can't do them. I've read about the burning off energy thing and the trouble is at his school if he messes about he loses play time do that's sort of not helping!

Could you speak to his teacher about the loss of play time? I think they need to work with you and him. Could they manage some more positive behaviour management?

I don't think it's just boys who struggle with the transition to year 1. Dd2 really hasn't been easy, she likes to do her own thing which doesn't fit well with school.

The carpet I've always been about - they spend years training them to sit on it while they prod each other etc then do away with it in KS2. Even dd1 who is a real teachers pet these days was a PITA on the carpet and her teacher stuck her on a chair in the end.

Tips - communication with teacher. Ask to find out when he's had good days as well as bad so you can balance and also reward. Share the reading, do alternate pages let him choose which ones you read and which he does. We have done that all the way with dd2 and her reading is fine, meeting expectations and she passed phonics test. Never let them blame others for distracting them etc, they are responsible for own behaviour. Dd2 hasn't had too bad a start to y2, one bad day so far so it is improving.

I think we had evidence in the past that just letting boys be boys for years ended up with them not reading at all. Reading, if he’s not talking properly, won’t be easy. Ask the speech therapists about this. They may have advice. He is obviously not going to read as quickly as some of the others so I would try rewards for him when he does some reading with you. He should not be allowed to refuse and mess about or he will just keep on doing it. Do you want this still to be the case in Y4?

I’m surprised the school doesn’t fence off areas where children are not supposed to go. Ask if they can do this. Life would be easier for everyone if they did.

I have a DS in Y1. We always do reading before school. It's tough to fit in (and we often end up doing it in the car outside breakfast club) but trying to do reading after school is a disaster. He's just too tired. Concentration is much better first thing.

DS was/is was like this (now yr 2) - he’s one of the older ones and nothing started to click reading wise until Jan of yr 1. They warned us he was going to fail his phonics test but he caught up.

We read in the morning and he chooses which page to stop on. Little chunks are good. He can’t manage anymore. Before he could read, I would read it to him or maybe get him to try one or two of the easy words. Use the pictures. Lots of prompting, lots of praise. He still tries to look everywhere else but the book but we have a go.

You’re not there when he’s at school when he’s ignoring the rules. There’s only so much you can do when it’s 2, 3, 4 hrs later and they have moved on. Obviously you do need to know what’s happenimg but you’re not there, whatever you say won’t change that.

We’ve had a home school book before (may need it again) where they tell us 3 good things that day. That helps you to focus on the good stuff.

He’ll get there. He needs time and patience. They change so much over yr 1.... DS was on the red 6 times in yr 1 - I’d be amazed if he lasted a week without being on red in reception. The teacher was still worried about it but it’s progress... (Reception did not go well)

By the way, an Early Years play area should be secure and the staff should be able to see the children at all times. So being able to get out of sight is not a secure playground and it’s not acceptable. I cannot think of any YR playground that I know that has an area where children can disappear from view.