Stick where we are or...

[KangaFandanga]

My daughter was offered none of the six state choices we made, and rather than send her to the school we were offered- a not very good school a long drive away, we opted to send her to a small private school about 10 mins away, with help from our parents.

It’s a lovely school, and she loves it. Our only real reservation was that the class is too small is falling away as she seems to be thriving so far, and more children are joining every week. It’s co Ed and it’s nurturing, not selective but lots of individual attention given.

Just found out, though, that we are almost at the top of the waiting list for our local community school. It’s got a great reputation, it’s also a lovely school, and we would love for our kids and for us to be more a part of the community. We were hoping and praying we would get in but now it might actually happen we are having second thoughts. She will get different opportunities, different choices, and different experiences if she stays where she is. Maybe not better, but different.

What would you do? Stay with small private school, or move to large local school?

if she has settled into her school, and you can afford it, then i would keep her where she is. it isn't very fair on her (in my opinion) to uproot her now just as she settled in and made friends. all the bestx

Is this primary? What year is she? What age does private school go up to and where would she go next? May seem a long way off if she’s in Reception but the years fly by and you need to think long term. Where will she go for secondary - state or private? Does local community school feed to a particular secondary?
If she’s only been there a few weeks I wouldn’t worry about moving her. I moved mine just before end of Yr 1 (from one v small state school to a much larger one) and they were fine...now in Yr 3 and loving it.
I’d think more about what you want long term for her and base decisions more on that

I would wait and decide if / when you actually get a place at the community school. You would have to wait for someone to leave before getting offered a place and if someone else moves closer to the school than you in the meantime, they would leapfrog you in the waiting list. It could be months / years before you actually get offered a place and anything could have changed in the meantime

Anytime up to the middle/ end of year 1 she is likely to settle quickly and so I wouldn't factor that into my decision making process at all. It also sounds as if the private school isn't full, so there might be the possibility of going back if it really doesn't work, plus many expand the classes in yr3.

Like suitcaseofdreams I would consider the longer term goals of secondary- it comes around sooner than you think. Are you in a grammar area - if that is one of your goals? Do most leavers stay in private school or go to state? Can you afford the fees through secondary, for all your children and possible children? What will you need to give up in order to afford to send them all private? Do you know parents with children in the reception class? How are they getting on? What is the mix of boys and girls? How many classes are there?

Remember that some of the shift up the school is due to no shows on day one still (assuming she is in reception), that will drop off and so you might have to wait quite a while for someone to leave. Maybe if the original school has more open days go and have another look around now that you have a little more experience of another school you can see whether this school is still your favourite. Good luck with the decision, she will be fine though.

I would think long term. Can you carry on to afford private in secondary?
Younger the children, easier to supplement school work. If you can save money for better private secondary by sending her to state primary, I would do that. But if money is no problem, I would keep her there, small class means more individual attention compared to state primary.

Thank you so much to everyone who has responded. All your views are so useful and appreciated.

To answer some of the questions- The future...We would hope they would have the chance to go to whatever private, state or grammar school suited them and they wanted to go on to.

The school she is at runs 4-11, and they have a good track record of getting all the pupils into their first choice of secondary. What I like about this current school is that some go on to state secondary, some prestigious private schools, some small local independent schools...the school seem to really cater for what suits each child and each family. They're not a hot house at all- v nurturing and friendly.

I suppose rather the money aspect (we would be able to cover private education with help from a trust from grandparents) my husband and I are more interested in what the kids would miss out on by not being part of the local community school- the lack of local friendships, more views of the world- a bit more down to earth perhaps. And if what she would miss is worth the move because it will shape her, and the family in a positive way that means more than academic success or choices. I'm pregnant and my hormones are all over the shop- I know I'm probably over thinking, and the advice to just wait until we have been offered the place before we think too much about it is probably very wise!!

She can still make local friends through some clubs outside of school. My ds is friends with children from at least 3 different schools.

If the fees are not a problem, and she likes her independent school, then I would keep her where she is. We have just moved my child from a good state primary school to a prep school this year, and even in two short weeks the difference is enormous. We liked his old school, but the smaller class sizes, the more experienced teachers and the more disciplined approach have made for a calmer learning environment. I know that there are hundreds of good state schools (my other three children are at state), but if her school is good and you can afford it, I would keep her there. My dh is a teacher, and thinks primary is equally as important as secondary in terms of building solid foundations and learning good work ethic.