Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

Original poster

Ex wants to take child out of school for holiday

21 replies

Stepmumsy · 16/09/2018 11:30

Am I being unreasonable?
My ex wants to take our daughter out of school for 2 weeks in May next year. I personally don't believe that kids should be taken out of school for holidays. A few days is ok perhaps but not a full 2 weeks. Now I appreciate that is my opinion and he is entitled to feel different. He states the reason being due to his work commitments and it being the only time he can get all year.
The other problem for me is that the 2 weeks coincides with the KS1 SATs. I believe she should definitely attend school during this period.
I've pointed all this out but he is adamant. He's now become abusive and is using my daughter against me stating that he will make sure she's knows it's me preventing her from having a holiday with him.
Opinions please from both sides are welcomed as he's failing to make me see his point due to the aggression.

OP posts:

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 16/09/2018 11:38

Tell him to ask the school. They will say no.

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/09/2018 11:39

YANBU. He sounds very selfish and demanding.

Charmatt · 16/09/2018 11:47

If he puts in a request you need to let the school know you are opposed to it in writing. If the school instructs the LA to issue a fine, they are issued to both parents.

In my opinion, even if you think term time holidays are acceptable (I don't unless there are exceptional circumstances) then SATs weeks should be out of bounds when your children are sitting them because it reflects negatively on the school in results.

5Makes9 · 16/09/2018 11:49

I wouldn’t be bothered about missing KS1 SATs but I wouldn’t be happy about missing 2 weeks of school. Can’t he time it so one of the weeks is half term?

endofthelinefinally · 16/09/2018 11:52

He needs to write to the school himself.
His wants are not your responsibility.
Then you write explaining you do not agree and you will not be paying any fines.

YeTalkShiteHen · 16/09/2018 11:53

The other problem for me is that the 2 weeks coincides with the KS1 SATs. I believe she should definitely attend school during this period

I agree with you, and I suspect the school will too. Can you speak to them and ask them to refuse when he asks?

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 16/09/2018 12:06

Then you write explaining you do not agree and you will not be paying any fines.
I don't think it works like that. Unfair, if you disagree with the plan, but you will be as financially penalised as he will. Otherwise, everyone could get their fines halved by saying one of them disagreed.

Norestformrz · 16/09/2018 12:38

The Key Stage 1 tests can be administered at any time during May so a two week holiday won't mean she misses the tests but I agree with others who say let the school know that you are unhappy with the idea.

CarolDanvers · 16/09/2018 12:41

I have taken my children out for holidays in term time. I have been fined once. My ex, their father was not given a fine as it was made clear that he was not involved in the decision.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 16/09/2018 12:41

Tell him he shall be paying the entire fine including your portion and see how quickly he changes his mind

Hissy · 16/09/2018 12:45

Tell him in writing via a solicitor if need be that you won’t allow a holiday in term time and esp during sats time.

Then unless he’s confirmed to you that he’s changed the dates of the holiday, (with proof) suspend all access in May

It may be an idea not to give a heads up that you will do this, in any event, you can put a prohibitive steps order on him so he can’t leave the country if you really have to.

He has no right to do this to your dd.

The stress your dd will be placed under at school will be astronomical, is she’s taken out during this time she will think the sky will fall in on her education

SATS are a complete load of crap, and schools ought to be ashamed of what they’re doing to kids and why, but it is what it is and your dd mh is more important

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 16/09/2018 12:55

SATS are a complete load of crap, True.

and schools ought to be ashamed of what they’re doing to kids Schools are doing what they're being forced to do by this and previous governments. Not exactly their fault.

Original poster

Stepmumsy · 16/09/2018 16:06

Thanks everyone. It's so sad that he's using our daughter against me as well because he hasn't got his own way. He fails to see that I'm not stopping him from taking her away but I don't feel missing 2 weeks off school is in her best interests.
I suggested wrapping the holiday around the May half term as that was preferable but apparently that is me dictating to him as mothers do! Apparently, He can't get any other time off in the whole 12 months except those 2 weeks. I told him that I'm not prepared to argue and that if he gets written permission from the school then I'll respect the schools decision. I hope the school doesn't grant it for my daughter's sake as she had already started talking about SATs.

OP posts:

Norestformrz · 16/09/2018 16:24

It's really sad that a child in Y2 has been made aware of tests in May.

sonlypuppyfat · 16/09/2018 16:29

Personally I think a holiday with her dad is more important than school

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 16/09/2018 16:30

They're not mutually exclusive. She should be able to have a holiday with her dad AND attend school at the right times.

Original poster

Stepmumsy · 16/09/2018 16:40

I agree Norestformrz she was talking about them before she left year 1! She's had the don't you be worrying chat.
OhDearGodLookAtThisMess this is what I think too and don't think I'm being unreasonable but appreciate the differences of opinions.

OP posts:

Hissy · 16/09/2018 16:56

and schools ought to be ashamed of what they’re doing to kids

Schools are doing what they're being forced to do by this and previous governments. Not exactly their fault.

No, agreed... but telling them these tests are important is 100% on the school, cancelling sports and other non sats related sessions, cramming and cramming for WEEKS beforehand and stressing the kids out about something that is NOTHING of any interest to anyone except school league tables is cruel and pointless...

Only for it all to be done again when they go to secondary school.

C0untDucku1a · 16/09/2018 17:00

Contact your solicitor.
Inform in writing the school you do not agree to this holiday.

sallythesheep73 · 16/09/2018 21:35

Personally I think a week in term time is fine but 2 weeks is taking the p1ss. If you could agree to 1 week that could be a compromise? And then its his job to write to the school, pay the fine etc?

Hersetta427 · 16/09/2018 22:44

Tell him to wrap the second week around half term so they only miss a week of school. 2 weeks is too much for me.

Flip