PFB started reception - I'm having the wobble

[starfish8]

DS (only child) has just started reception last week and seems to have settled in well. Happy going in and coming out, just the expected tiredness. His teacher is lovely and it's a warm and friendly, small school.

Still, I feel like I'm having a big wobble

Feel really frustrated a lot of the resources in his classroom are really old and tatty (school budget cuts no doubt - I know that's not their fault). School was our second choice, all his nursery friends have gone to the Outstanding shiny primary school down the road. We're out of catchment and likely to be nowhere near the top of the list. We also looked at prep route early doors, but decided it wasn't worth the extra money at primary. We're supposedly saving the money for if it's needed at secondary stage.

Also, I'm having to start him in after school three days per week from next week, as DH and I both work four days per week. I feel so guilty that I can't be there at the end of each day, and we don't have any family around to help.

Feels like such a big change from the private nursery we used up until school age. I guess I was a lot more in control of the day and I'd actively chose it.

Any words of advice about the situation would be most welcome. I really don't want to let him down.

My best advice would be to take each day as it comes, lots of rest and down time when he's not at after school club, and don't beat yourself up wondering whether you chose right etc.

Mine are older now, but I always find the start of a school year very unsettling. It takes a few weeks to get into the swing of it, learn the routines and expectations etc.

The warmth and ethos of a school means far more than shiny new stuff. After-school club will be fine, and should help him build his confidence and mix with a wider group of children than class.

I always tell my DCs (and myself) to look at it as an exciting adventure. Deep breaths..

Thanks, that post was just what I needed.

Hasn’t helped I’ve been off work all this week doing the settling in hours and I have too much time for thinking! As much as him, I need to get back to my work routine too.

It doesn't really matter that some of the resources are old and tatty. The warmth/friendliness of the school and the quality of his reception teacher are massively more important.

You could throw yourself into PTA fundraising to help improve some of the resources, if that's something that would appeal.

Our school is a bit tatty looking, the classrooms aren’t massive and it’s in the area of lowest incomes in our town.
It has an outstanding ofsted, the staff and teachers are incredible.
1 week in and teachers have already submitted 10+ observations in my dd’s online learning diaries so I can see what she’s been up to, we have the teachers email address if we need to contact her directly, the office staff are lovely when you call up, even the dinner ladies have been lovely at giving stickers out if the children have tried hard to try different foods.
We refused the shiny new primary school a 5 minute walk away and are driving 10 minutes twice a day to go to this school purely as I felt like they had the ethos I was looking for.
Old and tatty quite often means experienced and confident.

Try not to worry about wrap around care. It can be a very positive experience. DS1 does 3 days of breakfast club and 2 days after school club and has since he started reception (now Y1). He loves both and often expresses disappointment that it isn't an after school club day. From his perspective its fab to have a couple of hours after school just to play with friends! He's formed lovely relationships with the other children who attend, both in his year and in the older years, and gets to maintain friendships with girls there (its already socially unacceptable to mix with the opposite sex at break/lunch!). It's also given him the opportunity to get to know some of the adults in the school better (the wrap around care is run by TAs) and I think that's been fantastic for helping to make him feel secure and happy in the school (he's a bit of an anxious character by nature).

Thanks everyone I really appreciate your perspectives. Both the reception teacher and the school has been praised to the high hilt by several neighbours, whose kids have been through the school (some still there). That's a great idea to help with PTA fundraising - though I don't think I'll be Head of the PTA type, I fancy myself getting involved more as a governor potentially.

We ended up popping into see the after school club in preparation for next week. He seemed happy there was a creative activity every day, plus lego, train track, plus a Wii and a small TV. He was asking if he had to wait until next week to go, so that's a positive sign. He was an absolute meltdown nightmare when I got home today, here's hoping the after school club helps wind him down a bit?!

School generally is the start of you losing a bit of control of their setting. His school sounds fine, I’m sure he’ll do well

Thanks again latest posters. That’s good to hear.

I totally agree with other posters the state of the resources won't matter at all to a primary aged child - the important thing is a nice nurturing family atmosphere and personal recommendation is the best way to ensure that - you're on to a winner!

For what it's worth I avoided the outstanding primary school because while it looked great on the surface asking around it was quite a pressured environment which really focused on SATS. It got great results by setting lots of homework - neglecting anything non examinable and ignoring the kids who were already on track for good results. (I'm sure this isn't universal - some OUTSTANDING schools are probably great).