Confidence issues in my 8 year old

[newandimproved]

Hi there,
My second son (middle child) is struggling in school. We are living in France so he goes to a French school. His grades are so low that the school thinks it likely that he will have to repeat the year again. On their suggestion we took him to be assessed by a psychologist.

The assessment said that he was above average for intelligence, but that he had confidence issues. He won't start something if he doesn't think he'll accomplish it. The psychologist thinks that making him repeat the year will be detrimental. So I'm using a private tutor and working really hard with DS to help him study and get his grades to an acceptable level. I meet a lot of resistance from him.

I could do with some advice on how to help him increase his confidence. I have the book "How to talk so kids will listen ...", and generally try to use those techniques for parenting. I don't always succeed. Anybody got any tips? Except for the obvious - get out of France!

Are there any other ebglish boys at the school that he could latch on to?

Have you read Raising Boys (S.Bidolph)?

Does he do any school clubs that could increase his confidence?

Is he fluent french speaking?

Hi Luciemule, yes, he's fluent in French. He's been in the French education system since he was three. There are a couple of other English kids in his year that he is friends with. He is good friends with a boy that is also probably going to repeat the year, which doesn't help.
The school doesn't really have clubs, as such. He is in the local football club.

I haven't read "Raising Boys". I'll look it up!

Thanks for the reply.

Not sure how old your DS is but there must be a french Scouts/cubs type thing as I thought it was an international org. That might help him gain some confidence?

If it was me in the situation, and the physcologist had said his intelligence was very good, I wouldn't want him to stay behind a year as socially, he'd be 'older' than his classmates and it might make him fall behind in other social ways - I'm thinking that doesn't really make sense and is rather waffley!

How much are the school doing to help keep him interested? Would changing schools help or not do you think?

He's 9 next month. Yes, there is a Scouts thing here, I'll look into that. Good idea!

I know, I really don't want him to repeat the year. The thing with the French system is that it is quite rigid, and kids really do have to fit in. I'm looking at options for other schools. I have been meeting with the teacher regularly to keep the communication lines open.
It might work.