P1 struggling - emotional Mum 😢

[Hannahlouise4026]

Hi, my ds who is 5 next month started school 3 weeks ago. This week is his first school week. I have been extremely emotional about him staying school (I haven’t let him see me cry though! And it doesn’t help that I’m 10 weeks pregnant so much more emotional than normal) he is in a different class to most of his nursery friends. He says he doesn’t play with anyone in his class. I was dropping my dd at the nursery this lunchtime and looked into the playground and could see him standing alone looking for someone to play with. I immediately got in my car and burst into tears (I’m aware I’m being totally irrational) but I just feel so sad for him and want to just run down and pick him up. Any advice for these first few weeks?! I really struggled personally in primary school, I have awful memories and was bullied when I was in the last few years. I just have a horrible fear that he will not enjoy school either x

what about arranging a playdate with some of the other mums in his class? that way he will meet new people, and so he won't be alone in the playground. also, you could get into the habit of coming home, having juice and a snack and talking about your days together. that way, if anything is bothering him, he will tell you and you can sort it out. wishing you all the best x

Hey, yes I’m thinking of doing that. Only thing is I don’t know any of the mums and they all seem to be friends. I’m so awful at this and feel I’m projecting my fears onto him. I just picked him up and he had soiled his pants, he said at lunchtime, so had been walking around in them for 2 + hours. As he walked out the teacher looked at me and said he is very tired, I apologied. I just feel like such a shit mum and I don’t know what to do.

I would definitely speak to his teacher and ask who might be a good match for him friendship wise then invite them for a playdate. You could also share your concerns with her and she could also help him find his feet socially (by for example pairing him up with a similar child for an activity just before play time, or holding him and the other child back a minute for an "important job" so they leave to play together etc.)

You're not a bad mom you sound great. I would definitely speak to his teacher about your concerns - it's not great he's been in soiled pants all afternoon - accidents are still common at that age so someone should have noticed.

I need to speak to the teacher but I know I will just burst into tears as I’m so emotional, and look ridiculous. He soiled himself before and as she is the only teacher (no assistant) she said she couldn’t take him to the toilet.

Poor thing do you have a friend you could take with you (at least to the door) for moral support? Honestly I think you're probably worrying more because of your terrible experience. It's so early and he won't be the only one struggling. Could you also work with him at home on ways to introduce himself to people to play with at play time. Does he know specific times of day to go to the loo? In DS's class at that age they were all reminded to go fairly often.