7 year old new best friend punching, hitting and throwing mud at my child, what should I do?

[Purplepaper]

Hi

I'm not sure what to do in the last few weeks my child's new best friend at school at punched him in the face, punched him in the teeth and and has now chucked Soo much mud that his shirt turned brown. I was informed by the head of year about the first incident and assured severe consequences for the child in question. I said I was worried about this but because she said that he would have severe consequences I left it at that....i was actually biting my tongue. The second time was informed by teacher that he was punched in the teeth again biting my tongue because they are 'dealing with it's and third time I asked my child what happened and he told me his friend threw lots of mud at him. I feel I've tried to be reasonable with the school and said he can still play with my son but please deal with his behaviour. However now I am wondering whether they have anything done at all if incident after incident keeps happening . To add I could not see any visible injury but have been told about these incidents. My child has a health condition so the school is supposed to be extra careful that he has no trauma but they are just not bothered. please what shall I do I am really upset and want to write a letter to the head complaining about this. I was hoping any of you lovely mums could suggest what to do or what you would do in my situation ?
Thanks

@Purplepaper

1. You could keep your child home because they are not protecting your child
2. Move schools

3.speak to headmistress and if another incident happens complain about them to board of governors or local authority.

I would do number 3 , I definitely wouldn't approach the parent personally because the child is not with them when the incidents are happening .

I would

Stop referring to this child as his beat friend - he isn't
Friends don't hurt each other

School has a duty of care to protect your child which they are obvs not doing. Where is the supervision when this is happening. I think you need to contact board of governors if head and teaching staff have not acted on your concerns. I'd seriously think about looking for another school over the summer or your son is probably going to have another 4 years of this

If you are not happy you need to follow the school complaints procedure. This should be on the website but if not, pop into the office and ask for a copy.

First of all, Governors do not interfere with the day to day running of the school and the implementation of punishments to children. This is purely down to the Head.

I think I would seek another meeting with the Head and ask for clear assurances that your child will be protected on the playground. I assume he was not attacked in class.

I cannot imagine why your child was drawn to the other boy and thought he was a friend, but your DS needs to understand he must avoid this child. It’s a hard lesson to learn and clearly the other child has needs that are not being met by the school. If your DS is generally happy, I wouldn’t move schools. The current school has taken the violence seriously but they now must ensure these boys don’t play together. Your DS must also keep away from him so make sure you invite better friends around to play and keep this other child at arms’ length. Having good friends is very important and sidelining the violent child is easier if you have other friends who are pleasant.

First of all, Governors do not interfere with the day to day running of the school and the implementation of punishments to children

Governors are or should be informed of bullying issues and they must follow up all issues within an agreed timescale

Thanks everyone so far for all your replies. I really appreciate everyone's advice.

@Bubblesbuddy I think my son is drawn to this child because the a large group of boys do not want to play with him. He said that when the teacher asks if anyone will play with him, that group puts their hands up. However behind the teachers back they refuse to play with him. I can't believe this happens with 7 year olds. He feels more comfortable playing with the youngest children in the class one is the child that has hit him. My partner and I think that this is because he is development wise he is behind by one year ( another battle trying to get school to help with this)

I have told him that friends do not hit or hurt each other....I think I need to think of something else as I don't think he is quite understanding it.he seems to make excuses for that childs actions

pinkelephant59
Want to move schools but feel scared that another school will be worse than this.

GreenTulips. I do not believe you are correct about a Governing Body and Bullying. They are not respinsible for setting a timescale and they do not follow up issues in an agreed timescale. They are responsible for ensuring children are not bullied and introducing pilicies to counteract bullying. They must report on and monitor the effectiveness of such policies.

The responsibilities of the GB are as follows re bullying:
Appoint a lead Governor for bullying who is trained and well informed.
Know their legal responsibilities.
Challenge and support the school.
Know what the school does and how effective actions are.
Know what is happening and analyse data to see impact their policy has on bullying.
Review policy if necessary.
Meet regularly with the anti bullying lead in school.
Provide feedback and challenge at termly GB meetings and ensure it is minuted.
Support other governors to understand and interpret the information and data.
Undertake pupil interviews.
Meet with school council.

This is standard advice for Governors and many schools will operate along these lines. The Governors cannot demand action by the Head nor introduce a timeline. They must monitor how successful the anti-bullying polices are and act if they are not seen to be working by reviewing data provided by the school. They can introduce a performance management criteria for the Head if necessary and ensure it is an area for improvement.

Hope this helps.