Is it normal to be this anxious for report day?

[MrsPreston11]

My girls are only YR and Y2.

They're both going to get good reports, I'm sure (top set, never in trouble)

But it just fills me with dread, I think it's having to read someone else's opinion on my child.....

Am I the only one?

The ones last year for ds6 was quite personalised and very amusing but for that teacher it was the last time she’d do reports and she loved the class.

Sets don't mean much. My son is in a lower maths set but just got the highest sats results in maths.
Reports are mostly copy and pasted. It's nowhere near an accurate account of your child's abilities or efforts.
There's nothing to be anxious about.

Unless there was an issue (which I hope they would raise before report time)
I read them with interest but find they are generally so generic they say very little at primary school. So I can't get too het up apart from the fact that DS is proud of what he gets so I am proud too.
I gave them feedback on the subject of generic stock statements really not being helpful last year when they changed the report format - it's about ticking the right box for ofsted (the new head is all about ofsted but is a bit shit about doing the best for the kids and staff) whilst reducing teacher workloads - I'd rather they said less but actually said something specific and helpful.

So if your kids are doing fine then yes feeling dread is a bit of an overreaction

Our sets were highly accurate! Clearly the teachers had no idea of your DS's capabilities, FaFoutis, or they were using him to teach the less gifted! This is the most likely by the way!

He's quiet, he gets overlooked all the time. But he wasn't the only one. I think children get stuck in roles at school, just as they do in families, whereas the reality is that children can change a lot over time.
You might be right about the teaching.

Our primary reports are certainly not cut and paste and are very personal - the kids write about their learning over the year and the teacher responds to what they have said and add their own perspective. They are very enlightening (and often bloody funny). I love sharing things MissX liked your project on Y too but while you liked it because the subject is "gory" she liked you brilliant recall of facts and the improvement in your spelling with my child.

My sons parting comments this year elude to the fact that he is very nosey tbh, and he is.

to be honest I tend to just be relieved if mine sound like they are talking about the right child (not naming a different child in the report or referring to my daughter as "he"!!!!)

I do find it quite amusing when other parents tell me "their report said such and such" and it is word for word exactly the same as mine and someone else's. some parents don't realise and will say things like "oh the teacher knows my child so well" and I don't have the heart to point out they just typed a selection of things and it can apply to lots of different children.

I would hate to have to write reports now, I know from experience how hard it is to do

We do 'treats' on completion of the work (or SATs etc) - nothing to do with the outcome.

I remember getting that anxious feeling about reports and parents evenings. I knew it was irrational but it continued all the way to sixth form college - dd's reports and comments at parents evenings were usually good with a few 'chatty', 'assertive' and 'confident' (ie bossy know it all who won't stop talking) thrown in.

Dgs has had a lovely report, academics are fine but the comments about him being kind and encouraging other to children to join in and having a thirst for learning and an ability to remember what he has been taught, having made friends and being often found in the creative corner have made me smile.

As many of the PPs have a wealth of knowledge, would one of you please clarify something for me? Dgs doesn't turn 5 until August, throughout the year he has been working at expected, except for writing which was initially emerging, but is now expected and is for the end of year assessment he is at expected level for everything, a line of ticks straight down the middle column. Both dd and I were delighted with this, but my dsis implied that he should have got some exceedings as well - she is a TA with 30 years of experience and has worked in EYFS and KS1 at various times and has been working with Y2 for the past few years - she implied that dgs isn't as bright as we think. I am inclined to believe that she is just being snide (she has form for this, usually okay but sometimes she seems to enjoy stirring the pot or just being downright unpleasant, especially where my dd is concerned). Sorry for being longwinded, and for hijacking the thread, but am I right inthinking that dgs is doing fine or does my dsis have a point?

Of course DGS is doing fine if he's getting expected, are you perhaps suggesting he's amazing if she's using the not as bright as we think line about him perhaps she's bored of boasting?

Expected means he’s doing fine. It’s early days, too soon to know if a child is ‘bright’ or otherwise (though I don’t use or like that term myself). We all tend to think our children or grandchildren are amazing (and so we should!) but maybe your sister is saying ‘that’s average’ in a more dispassionate way! Don’t see why you can’t be a doting great aunt but not everyone can!

Sorry, don’t see why she can’t be a doting great aunt.

We had opening evening recently in which my son's teacher more or less said the level of evidence needed to give an exceeding level means they are very rare and that lots of the children who are capable of working above don't get that mark because they don't have the required three pieces of evidence for each element.

I have a policy that there should be nothing in a report that I haven't already discussed with a parent.

I didn't even download my son's report for a few days after they had been released. I know what he is capable of, probably more so than his teacher, so didn't expect to learn anything from the report.

ginnotginer - from previous discussions on here some schools dish out exceedings a lot more readily than others, perhaps hers is one of them?

Hi all.

I was exactly the same. I was a nervous wreck even though my child is doing great.

Yesterday I finally got her report and she did amazingly well. She is in year 1, August child and got 40 out of 40 in the phonics test and achieving maths and English at greater depth.

I think if there were any problems the teacher will mention this before the reports went out and also if a child was slipping. However, having said this, I know that getting nervous is normal for parents before receiving the reports and its soemthing that cant be helped xx

I don’t get worried as such, but I do anticipate DD’s reports keenly! I think it’s natural, as a parent of a young child, to look forward in particular to the personal comments written by the class teacher and the head. Who doesn’t want to hear something positive about your child, from trained professionals who have got to know him/her well over the year?

This year it’s the end of KS1 for DD, so it is also a year for a ‘marker in the sand’ in terms of levels. I know it’s not vitally important, but I’ll be reassured if DD’s results match her teacher’s predictions from previous termly reports and parent consultations. I agree with others that there should be no surprises.

We always share DD’s report with her, and enjoy discussing it. We try to focus on the personal comments about her character/behaviour and the effort she’s put in, rather than the academic side.

We don’t reward a good report in terms of a present or day out: the report is a reflection of DD’s ‘normal’ at school, and the positive comments my DD reads in the report, and our pleasure in reading them with her, are sufficient reward.

I don’t get worried as such, but I do anticipate DD’s reports keenly! I think it’s natural, as a parent of a young child,

I was exactly the same. I was a nervous wreck even though my child is doing great.

I remember getting that anxious feeling about reports and parents evenings

So glad I'm not the only one. Today's the day so not much longer to wait. I'm a very impatient person so things like this always cause excitement/anxiety for me.

I think Ginnotginger, your DGS is fine. He has lots of very encouraging comments and it can be harder for August birthday children as they are nearly a year younger than some of the others. However, you can rest assured that some September borns do not have "expected" in every aspect. Children mature and develop in leaps and bounds and can then plateaux. It is not a straight upward trajectory all through school.

However, I do think you can spot the stars at a pretty early age. I certainly knew who the high achievers were in my DDs YR cohort. They were reading books. Phonics had been sorted by the time they were 4, and in those days, that was before they went to school. Yes, they also understood hat they were reading. A couple almost taught themselves to read and certainly were not hot housed. I know the parents. They picked everything up very quickly and did not really have any slowing down of learning. They also had a thirst for learning and great concentration.

Of the bright children I observed in that cohort, 3 got places Oxbridge (all summer born, but all girls), 4 achieved maximum marks in the Bucks 11 plus with another one mark below (All were summer borns but only one boy). 2 others are now Doctors and several more are doing highly competitive jobs in London and several of those are summer borns too. They were obviously brighter than most at a very early age. Most teachers do notice these children, it is unavoidable.

Goodness me, MrsP! Chill out. You already know DC are doing well. Why are you still anxious?

On the other hand I have taught many late developers who didn’t shine at primary but came through at secondary. I myself was a late reader who was seen as quite average it slow at primary due to that and average/low maths abilities. I went to Oxbridge and graduated with an extremely strong degree in an arts subject. It is important not to decide a child’s fate when they are 5, 7, or even 10, and it is very possible for them to develop at very differemt rates.