Am I being a Snob?

[onlytheone]

I have just posted on Switching School thread as my dilemma is similar but my DD is not yet at school! I am putting off selecting the local school purely for the reasons of many of the pupils coming from a large rough area of the village. The language is just awful outside the school gates and I cannot see myself standing there each day for 7 years. However, have visited and was impressed by teaching and also the Ofsted report where excellent progress is being made and high achievement. Instead I could send my DD to similar achieving school in next village with mainly middle class families. I feel awful that this is the only reason I would not use the local school especially as some of my DD's friends will be attending! Your opinions and experience would be very much appreicated!

Go with your gut feeling. They will probably all end up at the same secondary school anyway.

Sending your child to the local school ensures that there will be a more even mix of families in both schools. I can't see what's so great about being surrounded by middle class people all the time.

Very good point, mimi. I live in a middle class area (but I'm on the 'estate'), and whilst they may not shout 'FAAAARK OFF' in the street at every opportunity, some of their manners are appalling!

It would be much easier for you to patronize the local school, and easier on your dd, imo.

You can always change.

Thanks everyone. Just returned from mil's. To clarify who is doing the swearing, it is both parents and children and there are large amount teenage, single parents with big families. It is not solely about the swearing. The parenting often is not great and this sometimes menas huge amounts of kids who cannot hold a pencil, act on instructions or know how to sit still on a chair. However, the school must be doing wonders with them if this is the case as the results are excellent.
Scrummymummy: I agree with you and will probably do this. Coldiz: I am not going to do it anyway, otherwise I would not have started the thread! Aefondkiss: appreciate your comments. Would not want DD to be upset 18 months later. Hippymummy: it is parents and their children, infant and junior age. Very poor large council estate behind school. Desiderata: understand the awfulness of middleclass snobs at school. Have seen that too (at other one I am considering) and agree it is probably worse. At least the "rougher" element are just being themselves and say it how it is!!! Both friends and DH's colleagues asking which school we will use and cannot believe that we are thinking of sending her to the local one! WE are inclined to do so just for this reason as they do not know how good the results are!!!

did not mention working class or middle class only in response to Desiderata's response! Many families in large part of village do not have one parent at work. Thanks for your comments on your experience. It is a shame more parents don't use the local school and then the school would be truly representative of its community. On our road, all four families with school age children go to different local schools and two of our neighbours would not dream of sending theirs to the local one!

What is the 'awfulness of middle class snobs' at schools of which we speak?

Our village primary seems to be populated entirely by the children of doctors, dentists, solicitors and similar (which is entirely attributable to the area that we live in - rather than some dodgy form of social class 'eugenics'!).....I haven't found them to be particularly snooty. The majority are friendly...and the school is great. No problems with bullying (but that might be because it is a small village school of around 100 pupils total), excellent academic results, wide array of extra curricular activities etc etc

Just dreadful

Snobbery cuts both ways you know

Regarding the swearing issue, I know of a school where this was a big problem. A parent brought it to the attention of the head and a letter was sent out to all parents pointing out that swearing was inappropriate. Apparently this resolved the issue.

IMO it is important that all schools have pupils with parents who are articulate and confident enough to make suggestions about how to make positive changes for all the pupils. Sadly this is less likely to happen in schools where the intake is predominantly from the lower socio-economic groups.

handlemecarefully: it is often not the professional parents who are snobby as we belong to the group you mention!

Im not sure what lone parents with big families have to do with it as they arent beneath you???

A while back 2 boys who live down my road were playng out and one called the other an asshole, do they go to the local primary school??? no, they go to private boys schools !!!! dont confuse ignorance with snobbery !!!!

My child goes to a school in another area as its a better school, not because I dont like the look of a few people standing by a school gate.

The mums outside my infants' school gate have to be seen to be believed.

There's enough fake tan/blonde hair dye/acrylic nails/boob jobs/botox/eyebrow lifts to keep chemists and cosmetic surgeons in clover for years. They all want to make friends as well (most don't work) and trying to give them the slip is something of an art form. It's truly scarey...

But you don't have to develop lifelong friendships with the parents to appreciate and support the school and what it is undoubtedly achieving.

So please do think again about the benefits. The bonuses of (a) having a close school (b) your children having a pool of close-knit friends in the village and (c) not separating your daughter from her friends all seem like real upsides to me and the one downside (dodgy parents) is one you can avoid.