Sex ed in primary

[aliphil]

One of the other mums buttonholed me this morning to tell me she's written a letter to the governors expressing concern about a sex education film that the school uses. She is hoping that DH and I will support her, as she knows we are also a Christian family, and he is a governor. Apparently it's a Channel 4 film; she was a little unclear about whether it is shown to year 2 or year 5, but her issues seem to be that it is too explicit, shows and names the clitoris, and deals with masturbation.

Does anyone know if there really is such a film, and if so whether I can see it online? If what she says about it is accurate and it really is shown in year 2, I would be rather concerned about DD seeing it next year, but I'm not prepared to condemn it on hearsay.

It sounds like the y5 one to me from my recollection.

If you are concerned, ask the school whether they discuss with parents the content of Sex Ed before they do it. At our school they have a meeting for parents where they explain approach and preview the films.

Thanks. I've just looked up the sex education policy on the school website and it seems very reasonable. Apparently in KS1 they learn to name body parts "including external genitalia". And KS2 includes stuff about avoiding abuse including female genital mutilation, which hadn't occurred to me as something that would come up but I guess is part of safeguarding and obviously would need the clitoris to be mentioned.

Y6 learn about "human reproduction, puberty, menstruation and childbirth", but so do "other years as appropriate". I suppose that's to cover the school if the topic comes up - anything from "mummy's having a baby" to a girl whose periods start early.

You can always go into school and ask to view any videos I have done this in the past and withdrawn my child from some

I don't know the Channel4 one but the only one who can answer you what exactly the school is showing is the school.

When DD had sex ed we were given a link a week before so we could watch it and make a decision about allowing our children to attend or not.

But: even if you or any other parent remove your child from it, it will just hear all about it in the playground, most likely mixed up by some confusion and other ideas the other children may have heard from older siblings. Better to let them see it and ensure you are there to talk about it. Removing a child actually harms more than letting it attend.

And - while I can understand personal views on sex ed, I think it is vital that schools show and educate it as detailed as possible with ensuring it is age appropriate. There is too much hiding and half-baked truth around it already.

We watched the clip DD saw and talked about it with her afterwards to make sure she understood it correctly.

I am entirely in favour of age-appropriate sex education and would have to have some very serious concerns before I considered withdrawing DD. I'd like the chance to make up my own mind about it though, so I shall find out from the school what they do about communicating with parents about it.

I think FGM is particularly important if the school has children with certain cultural backgrounds. It puts a marker down for both parents and child that it is wrong and totally unacceptable.

"age appropriate" is a meaningless term that everyone is in favour of, because it has no definition.

Even if 90% of the parents were against it all that would happen is your kids would be made to sit out while the others learnt. Then the kids who learnt would trickle down the information in bits which could end badly.

I'd ask for details of the specific video. The policy is one thing, but from time to time teachers might hear about different resources or be approached by agencies like the NSPCC and not all the materials are the same.

I work for a Catholic school and they wouldn't show the Channel 4 one as it was felt too old for the children. They use other schemes and resources. No harm in checking what exactly they show to make sure they're considering these things properly, and it helps you discuss it as a parent. It all depends on the school and cohort what is felt to be appropriate.

The school should let you view both the video and see the full scheme of work if you ask.

We have reservations and prefer to talk topics through with dd1 ourselves, so her teacher this year (yr4) showed us the scheme of work and recommended that we do the same next year (and watch the video), so we can decided what if any we wish for her to attend. As it is she already knows more than the scheme of work covered this year, but importantly she heard it from us and didn't get a garbled story from her peers in the playground.

If you have concerns then do ask to view the video as others have said. IME it usually isn't graphic or inappropriate information for them to know, and I think there is proof that knowing these things at primary age actually protects children from some forms of abuse or at least helps them discuss things properly early on.

Apparently in KS1 they learn to name body parts "including external genitalia"

I have never known that to be taught in KS1.

The scheme is called ‘Living and Growing’, we follow it loosely and use some of the worksheets etc that accompany.

We don’t use the videos but only because they are horribly outdated and cringe worthy to watch. The girl group ‘cleopatra’ feature on one of them talking about going through puberty. Anyone remember them? They’re in their 30s now...

That sounds like the year 6 video.

I know the y 5 syllabus. The year 5 syllabus talks about wet dreams and menstruation, but not masturbation. Nor is the clitoris named, though the external and internal genitalia are. It doesn't talk about how the egg gets fertilised either.

*Apparently in KS1 they learn to name body parts "including external genitalia"

I have never known that to be taught in KS1.*

I've taught that in Foundation. We used a lovely big picture book that asks children what they think the difference between boys and girls is eg "Is it that only boys like playing with cars? No, some girls like playing with cars" and "Is it because only girls cry? No everybody cries sometimes" etc.
Then we would stop and ask the children what they thought the difference between boys and girls is. (they tended to struggle with that!).

Finally we went back to the book which explained that boys and girls have different private parts, that we call them private parts because they are private, that people have lots of different names for them, and then the book gave the correct names (leading to lots of children with immature speech going home and explaining that girls have a "China")

It's really important that young children know the correct names. We told them that if they had a sore penis or vagina (trying to talk in a boring, matter of fact voice so they knew that the words weren't rude or exciting or anything to giggle over - and desperately trying not to catch the TA's eye) and they went to the Dr and tried to explain the problem using a family word for their private parts then the Dr might not understand what was wrong with them.

More importantly, if a child is sexually abused, makes a disclosure to a person outside the family using a family term then the person that the child opens up to might not realise what they are trying to say.

I know the exact videos you are referring to. They are the channel 4 living and growing ones. Quite outdated but I haven't found anything better yet. The Y2 one we actually use with our Y3&4 as we don't use it in ks1 and then the second video we use in Y5&6 (we have a two year cycle so only cover it every other year).

The videos are perfectly fine.
The Y2 one covers body parts and yes it does say clitoris. Its the one bit parents tend to be funny about we always say that's because they're looking at it from a sexual point of view. Children don't have that experience and to them it's no different from saying this is an elbow.

Y6 one goes into masturbation being normal and people do it because it feels nice. Also has mechanisms of sex. Its all fine apart from the slightly cringy way he chases her with a feather

I'll see if I can find a link to the video.