Pre-school end of year report - mortified

[craxmum]

DD is 2.7 and I just received her end of year report today. She's been attending since September. It's a disaster.
She scores "emerging" for her age band or even in the age band below in pretty much all areas apart from "numbers", "shape, space and measure" and "technology" where she has scored "confident".

She also has the lowest possible score for "creating and thinking critically" (1 out of 5).

For "making relationships" and "people and communities" she is not even assessed to be at the level of 16 months! Some children don't even walk at this age :(

I don't know what to think. To me, she is quite a bright child for her age - knows numbers up to 20, can do basic sums up to 10, knows all the letters, can write a few too, can draw some recognisable shapes (faces, cars, dogs), playing some elaborate pretend games.

Can I ask for a second opinion from another professional? They state that this report will be shared with her future school, is there any way I can gently challenge it?

I feel really guilty, I am a single mother and have to work full time, and her older brother has SEN and takes almost all of my free time (and finances) - I feel now like I failed her. Can I find a teacher to tutor her over the holidays to bring her up to speed (I am not sure how it works in the UK - should I ask if someone in the nursery is tutoring privately or is there is anyone they can recommend)?

Please don’t worry about ‘academics’. She sounds advanced there. I wouldn’t push her there. Just answer her questions and keep her enthusiasm going.

Your nursery possibly don’t know your daughter that well (but it’s hard - they have lots of children and get pulled into paperwork that really isn’t age appropriate!).
I queried the next steps nursery set my DD when they set a target of counting to 10 when she was counting to 29 and counting ‘things’ up to about 20. Turns out she’s just quite quiet and they didn’t really hear her speak. But it’s hard for nurseries. They have so many children and must have to spend a lot of time in ‘essential’ tasks (nappies, etc).

But if she’s struggling with relationships it is something you can gently start to work on. You can get her to start thinking about other people. Ask her how she thinks someone else feels when something happens. When reading a book, ask her how she thinks one of the characters feels (eg if reading a book and a duck was lost, ask her how she thinks the duck feels, ask her is she’s ever felt lost, ask her what she thinks the duck wants, etc)

My nearly 4 year old is starting to make little friendships now. At 2.7 she really didn’t.

Do you suspect she’s Autistic ? As her scores indicate this.

Please, please ignore this 'report'. She is a baby! And for the love of all things holy please do not employ a teacher or a tutor for her.
I am a tutor and and ex-teacher. This ridiculous assessment culture is the reason I left.

she often reads a book by herself in the book corner, ignoring group time / circle time

This is an example of lack of social interaction and I guess lack of wanting to be apart of social routines.

You can be very smart but have low social skills.

I would get a private speech therapist rather than a tutor.

No three year old needs a tutor (special needs and stuff like language therapy excepted.)

She’s 2.7 years old. At that age they should be running around and playing. They have years to be stuck behind desks. At that age there’s still a lot of parallel play rather than having specific friends.

She is 2 and a half. Repeat that to yourself - 2 and a half. Children of that age shouldn't be at 'Pre School'. Daycare nursery, nanny, child minder, at home with parent, at home with granny etc. Forget this 'report'. They say it will be shared with future school. Really? My daughter started the nursery class at the local primary when she was 3 but no one asked what she had been doing for the first 3 years of her life.

No, she's definitely not autistic. I hope. She is communicating well outside the nursery, and has a friend she shows some empathy about (like saving a bit of cake for her, or packing an extra pair of leggings in case if her friend has an accident when they are going to the ballet class).

Oh bless her, she's a little tot! Time and social activities will do her the world of good. She's speaking 2 languages and interested in books. That's brilliant!
Talk to other professionals she's already involved with if it eases your mind, but I honestly wouldn't start thinking about tuition. Let her play, let her feel loved, encourage her to chat with other children at the park, read with her, let her 'pay' at the tills when you pop into a quiet shop. She'll find her feet at her own pace. Relax, and don't feel upset by this. You wouldn't have received this form 20years ago and you would have been no worse off.

My ds is 3.3. He’s at pre school too. I got told he shoved a loo roll in the loo last week and put mud in the water table. That’s about as much as I expect from him because he’s 3. You really really have not failed your daughter. She’s tiny, just let her be 2 and take the pressure off yourself.

Early years teacher here. Please do not worry. As pp have said, nursery have to have generally minimum of 3 pieces of observational evidence before they can 'tick' anything off. This info doesn't usually stay with children through primary. In fact once into reception they will have profile data and baseline assessment and then that is only really used to support transition into year 1. She sounds great especially as learning 4 languages!

Aaaah, I still cherish DS's grade 'E' for Emotional Development when he was 2.

He grew up. They do that.

Do you suspect she’s Autistic ? As her scores indicate this.

No. What the scores indicate is that her teachers are spouting rubbish and that the EYFS guidelines are encouraging this. Please don't engage in this kind of ridiculous armchair diagnosis, which is calculated to worry the OP who is already worried enough thanks to the nursery stressing her out like this.

As for tutoring for 3yos---if the OP is in London, yes, there are private schools with 3-plus tests and wild-eyed parents trying to prep their children for them. I find the whole thing just sad, and I am very far from being a crunchy-granola hippie type when it comes to education.

Ididnot surely as an early years teacher you know the early years outcomes are to help make best fit judgements, and shouldn't be used as a checklist?
I don't know where the '3 times' thing comes from but it's not in the statutory framework.

@bookmum08
Unfortunately, I do not have family around and a full time nanny is out of the budget at the moment. I used to have a nanny before, I agree it is better of course.
I thought pre-school and nursery are the same thing? They accept children from 3 months to 5 years, charging monthly fees. Is it a nursery or a pre-school?

I'm a tutor and my minimum age is 8!
She's fine really, just let her play and relax :)

Your daughter doesn't sound as if she has any issues, but I'm not so sure about the nursery staff!

Chuck the report away. Honestly, they sound absolutely inane.

My middle one had a horrible reception teacher. A real dragon. Report said that counting was slightly behind - I forget the numbers. They could count over twice that. I said in the end of year meeting I had no concerns at all, said that I was pleased with them for managing even some responses when the teacher had spent most of the year ensuring that the children were frankly afraid of them and I was sure that they'd magically 'catch up' in year one, where the teacher was very approachable, just as all the others seemed to do. Strange that!

It sounds like a nursery, probably with a preschool room.
Preschools tend to run 9-3 term time but they also take 2 year olds so not sure what point that poster was making.

Hi I'm a nursery teacher. Don't Panic! She is still very young. When we assess to get secure as a pp has said we have to observe a child doing something several times and we are always encouraged to err on the side of caution so that progress can be show later on (I know I have mixed opinions on this but it is what we have been told!) Remember that the 40-60m band is reception entry so she has ages to get there. I was at a meeting the other week where most professionals were saying that they thought the age bands were out and didn't match with chronological age. I think she sounds fine but have a chat with her teacher and see what she thinks you can do to help at home.

Please don't worry and don't engage a tutor for your baby. She's still so young.
When DS was at nursery, the nursery manager had a list of activities he couldn't do eg form letters. But I knew he could write short names before he went to nursery so I wasn't concerned. Lots of parents received similar reports and also knew their DCs had been able to complete those tasks before they started nursery.
If the nursery's attitude at parent's night made you feel bad then I would consider if it's the right nursery for you and DD.

OP, your post made me really sad. Your poor DD. She's only little, please just let her get on with being little and enjoying life in her own way.

My DD was never very good at mucking in a nursery, she kept herself to herself and sat in the corner looking at books, playing quietly with one or two close friends. She's now 10 and perfectly well adjusted with nice friends, she just didn't like big social groups. Neither do I fgs.

Please don't worry.

Stop worrying, the child is 2!!! At 10 my daughter was officially "behind" but having had 3 others I'd already learned to ignore these things. Anyway she left primary predicted to get 1 or 2 grade C GCSEs. Last summer she took them and got straight A/A stars!

Likewise her elder brother. Unable to read at 7, school saying he might have SEN. Then suddenly all "clicked" and by the age of 10 he'd read Lord of the Rings, complete unabridged version, something I've never managed and I have a literature degree!

It means nothing

Pre school assessments.... wtf?!

I asked a direct question on why her social interaction skills were rated to be at the level of a non-verbal and non-mobile child, and the answer was that she often reads a book by herself in the book corner, ignoring group time / circle time.
And that's how they judge her social interaction?! On her preference for being independent and enjoying her book?! At that reckoning my social interaction skills are also at the level of a non-verbal and non-mobile child!!!
Ignore it. She's obviously bright enough and the rest will come in time.

Given the response of the nursery I would be doubting their capabilities. They should be able to understand the assessment they have subjected your child to.

I was careful in my first post to not jump to conclusions. I have 2DC who are high functioning autistic. These checklists are designed to help identify children with ASD earlier on. All the research shows early diagnosis is a significant factor to improved outcomes later on in life. However, these people at the nursery clearly missed a good opportunity to assess if there is an issue. That is a problem. If you want peace of mind get a speech therapist to perform an assessment otherwise I'd file that report in the rubbish.