these are the probs - so should I change school?

[SSSandy2]

We live in Germany. Dh will be here jobwise for the forseeable future, I would like to leave which would probably mean an English language school environment, if it ever happens.

Dd started school 2006 aged 6. She is very unhappy at school. Only thing she finds good is the 20 minute school break but says since they have no playground as such there is nothing much to do in the break. She doesn't like ANYTHING else about school.

My primary school(s) were all ok. I went happily enough.

Her behaviour has changed, she speaks a bit babylike, she bumps into me when she walks, rubs her head on my stomach on the way home. Seems regressive

the school she attends is a German Catholic one, it has a good reputation but I don't really know why. I don't find it bad but I can't pick up on anything particularly good

It's mostly frontal lessons, little groupwork, no project work and finishes at lunchtime. She doesn't like the other dc much although I always found she got along with other dc no problem at all. She doesn't seem to find her feet at school.

She hates the maths teacher screaming in class . Seems there is a lot of that.

She isn't making great progress with the schoolwork TBH. I have to really tutor her at home.

should I move her to a bilingual school for year 2 (if I get a place) so she would be better prepared to move into an English language school environment if we leave Germany?
should I leave it considering we might well leave after she's moved and it will all be too disruptive?

What do you think? I went to 4 different primary schools because we moved so much but I was happy at all of them.

I'd find another school as soon as possible as it really doesn't sound as though your daughter is thriving there. School, to me, should be a happy place to which the majority of kids look forward to going and where they grow as children. If she's only finding the 20 mins break bearable, that says it all really.

is your DH forces and are you German? Could you not get her into an international school if you're planning perhaps on returning to uk?

Lots of children say they have no-one to play with around this age, when it may be only for the odd day when when of their friends is off from school.

Give her a special little note book and fun pen, so she can draw, write things in the playground. If she is alone, she will have something to do to take her mind of it.
Other children are nosey and want to speak to her to see what she is up to. She can make up noughts and crosses games up with them and get them to join her.
So children are quiet in the playground others charge around. You dd may be a quiet child.

Please talk to her one to one and see if there are any other problems other than school that are bothering her.

yes it's hard to take her in these days because I know she hates it. Wish I had a crystal ball though and would know that she'd be happier in this other school IYSWIM. Earliest I think I can change her is the start of year 2 in August.

That's an idea wotsit, I'll get her one today after school.

lucie we're British but dh is employed here on a permanent basis (I mean not a temporary contract) but I would like to move really.

if she's got friends at the school, then maybe she is just quiet and it will sort itself out but if she doesn't have any friends, then I'd definitely move her. ALso, she's only 6 so being taught by German teachers will probably be really daunting to her so after the first year, she might get used to it more and settle in.
Why don't you go and look around the other school you metnioned and compare the two.
I certainly wouldn't be moving back to the UK and giving up all those lovely yummy cakes!!!

Hi SSSandy, sorry to hear your dd isn't enjoying school any more, I thought it all started off well? It's hard to decide about moving isn't it, I'm on my way to change schools with ds every other week but I'm so worried that it might be worse as it all depends on getting a good teacher. Dd is so much happier since she got a new teacher and enjoys school to a certain extent atleast. Is there any chance that your dd's teacher might change? Could make a big difference.

I just don't know admylin. But I find she is no longer outgoing and I'm really very worried about that (maybe too worried, I don't know honestly). She was unhappy about school from the beginning but I was positive about it because I liked her class teacher (not the maths teacher though) and I think I was prejudiced in favour of the school because of so many people having said, "oh that's a good school" IYSWIM.

Well I don't know how easy it will be to get a place at SIS for year 2. I've heard it is very difficult because the year 1 have already learnt to read and write in English of course. She will have to do an English test (!) and they then decide on the basis of that which is her primary language. If it's German in their eyes, I think we have no hope of a place. I'm going to the office this afternoon to pick up the forms and see what the application procedure is.

Lovely to "see" you here by the way, how are you all?

What about JFK school? I know a boy (chinese) who moved from our school to there and he loves it.
There should be quite a few schools having Sommerfest in the next few weeks too so I was thinking of going to one or two just to see what the atmosphere is like but as I said it all does depend on the getting a good teacher.

themildmanneredjanitor, the trouble here in Berlin is - most of the teachers scream at the kids. I was in shock the first few times I heard them when I turned up a few minutes early to pick the dc up. I think that is why it's hard going on our expat dc because we don't do things that way.

maybe we could go together admylin? Well I called JFK when dd was at kindergarten and I was looking for a school. I was told you either have to be American or German to get in. So as a non-American you would need to try and get your dc in on the German ticket. Unless they have a German passport, that won't work.

tmmj I'm feeling really awful now You're right of course. I spoke to another dm from the class this morning and she says she's very happy with the school and her dd loves it there, so don't know what to think

(no one noticed that already I know )

Did you ever check out that PHORMS school? I would like to see what that is like but it would be a long way for you every day. They also take fees according to what you earn.

I just looked at the website admylin. The academic side of things sounds good. I'm not sure about the atmosphere/the teaching approach/pastoral care/interaction between the dc which is what worries me most about dd's current school situation IYSWIM. I am unsure about whether our school is pretty much standard for the school system here when it comes to those things (which bother dd most)

I'm having another look at the website now admylin. I could go an do the Aufnahmetest which I see takes an hour and see what comes out of it. I like the smaller classes (20) and since it's private, I'd imagine it would be less hassle getting a place? Have you been to a look round the school yet?

It would be good if we could have trial weeks at different schools wouldn't it! Berlin Metropolitan is near us but now a colleague of dh who sends his boy there is saying it's too slow going on the academic side but then again how high does that have to be for 1st and 2nd years?

themildmanneredjanitor, I would have been home educating for over a year now but it's not allowed in germany, officially the law says dc have to attend school.
I know what you mean about that gut twisting feeling, it's awful when you know your dc is not enjoying school especially when you know what it should be like. I loved school and enjoyed every day of my primary school years.

it is always a stab in the dark with schools. So much depends on the teacher and the behaviour of other dc in the class and you won't know about that till you've started school I suppose. So your dc's experience will always be different to that of the other dc you're hearing about.

tmmj home schooling is not a legal option in Germany I'm afraid. They have to attend school

We have the option of moving within the German school system to a bilingual school (Engl. German)
Changing to a German style private school (not comparable to UK independent schools really, are they admylin?) and I think the whole approach will be similar just smaller classes, more afternoon activities
Changing to the private British school which is all in English and she would be doing I think just one hour of German a week which in a way is a pity

Arghhhh I just DON'T know!

Atleast you can comfort your dd with the fact that they only have just over a month to go then they have summer hoidays! We're counting the days already. We will be flying to Uk mid-July for the whole holiday, so something to look forward to.

yes I know she can't wait for the holidays! You're well organised , we always do everything at the last possible minute, ie dh does.

Thanks for letting me get it all of my chest on this thread everyone. I feel a bit better now and a bit clearer. I don't find it right to leave her at the current school so I will definitely apply to different schools since the deadlines are around now and see what options we have when/if we get acceptances.

What about BIBIS? My Brother and SIL teach there, and neither of them are screamers-if you are expecting to leave Germany at somepoint, then an international school may be more appropriate?

sorry, BBIS