Daughter put in new class with no friends

[jamesscotland]

Hi,

My daughter is moving to P6 at primary and the school have put her n a class where she has no friends and states "many of the kids are mean".

She is very upset as she has moved up the school with her group of friends and where they are all moving to other classes in groups together next year, she isn't.

We've spoken to the head teacher who cannot give us a good reason for this decision except that it will be 'good for he'r. However, our daughter is already upset at this and broke down crying to the head teacher when she spoke to her about it.

The head has stated that she will not move her to another class, even though there is room.

My question is, I'd like to know what course of action we can take to have this decision overturned and my daughter moved to a class with at least some of her friends.

Thanks

Thanks everyone for the replies.

*Oliversmum, you pulled him out? Really?

What a delicate petal your kid is*

Well it seems there are several delicate petals.

I don't see how the pacification of "you can see your friends in the break and at lunch time" works when they have different lunch times and breaks.

There were other reasons and were giving the benefit of the doubt but the head wasn't having any of it. So we made the decision to HE.

Given he was on his own all day and couldn't speak to anyone (different language) in his class he didn't miss out on any social stuff being at home.

Unfortunately you child will need to learn to adapt for secondary school. It is a shame but schools cannot adapt to every pupil.

Hmm - IME secondary can adapt to pupil needs, though you have to be persistent.

DS1 was the same as your dd going into secondary school - 9 of his close friends were put into 2 classes, a group of 4 together and a group of 5. He was with no-one he knew and no-one he clicked with on intake day.

The same happened to one of the girls. Her mum kicked up a fuss straight away and she was moved the next day, despite us all being told there would be no moves.

We encouraged resilience, told ds he would be fine/would make new friends/could see his old ones at break etc. For a year, we kept an open mind about it, thought the school could be right. He was a child who had loved school and for a year he hated it. Yes, he made new friends, but his old friends were a close group, with a shared past, and lot of new jokes/stories/experiences in common, that he was outside of. And of course, they lived locally from his old primary school. His new friends were at a distance.

We raised his unhappiness and failure to settle with the school . After a year they caved in and moved him and I got my happy son back. He thrived academically and socially after that.

fresh We can make some moves at secondary. (E.g. major bullying issues tend to be kept apart)

What we won't do (which is what some parents expect) is to start allocating classes based on friendships. E.g. My child has decided they don't like their class so I want them moving / they want to be with their friend / 2 people have fallen out so we want a class change

There is a time and a place for moving classes.

I am in Scotland and I have NEVER heard of this?! None of the schools around here mix up classes? Sounds very odd to me. I’m surprised by it really. Why is it they do this?

I am in Scotland and I have NEVER heard of this?! None of the schools around here mix up classes? Sounds very odd to me. I’m surprised by it really. Why is it they do this?

Well in my school they are always mixed after reception to try and create balanced classes - a balance of age and abilities, SEN, behaviour etc. As children don't all mature/develop/learn at the same rate, after a while the classes can become unbalanced, or it can become apparent that certain children being in different classes would be beneficial to all, or new children coming into school, particularly if they are challenging, can make some classes much harder to teach than others, so a decision is made some years to create new class groups.

This happened to my DS1 in Y1 and it was an absolute disaster - because DS is quite severely autistic. He was in mainstream in a small village school at the time (now attends a special school) and had worked incredibly hard in Reception to make good friends with three boys and had another 5 or so children who he managed to feel comfortable with and get on with quite well. All of them were put in the other class for Years 1 and 2 - every single one of them. DS was left with no-one that he knew or who was willing to talk to him. DS was baffled that he couldn’t see his friends; we were very upset about it; and the headteacher stood firm by her decision. DS never really recovered from that and it’s not until this year (he’s now in Y7) that he’s managed to make new friends. We heard years later that the headteacher was well aware it was a bad decision but always stood by her teachers even if she didn’t agree with their decisions.

So for us it really was a disaster. But DS is severely autistic in case anyone is about to label him a snowflake!).

DS1's school mixed up from y1 to y2 then Y2 to Y3 and then they stayed in the same class from Y3 to the end of Year 6 which was an absolute nightmare. By the time they got to the end of year 6 most of them were sick of the sight of the same people day every single day. I would have loved them to mix for Year 6 and so would DS1.

I'm so glad my dd's school only had one class a year. Here in Mexico my dgd's kindergarden does that and nobody can see the reason for it. I think it is really just a fashionable educational theory.