Summer born child - is there anything I can do to help?

[loweylo]

My daughter will be four at the end of July and will start school this September.

I do have my reservations about it - she seems so young - but we chose not to defer entry, so I've got to go with it now.

She's been in preschool for a few hours a day for the last year and knows a few kids going to school (although most of them have been put into a different mixed yr 1 / reception class - she'll be in a pure reception class). Preschool have done lots of school prep, but nothing on phonics etc. I've not done anything with her either on their recommendation despite my daughter asking me to teach her to read. Apparently the school don't like it when local preschools and nurseries do it. But now I'm beginning to wonder...

Is there anything I could be doing to reduce the summer born disadvantage? I'm not grade chasing here and, honestly, I'm not at all a pushy parent. But I don't want to leave her at even more of a disadvantage by not doing things that I should have been doing. If she's been asking to read, should I have been teaching her?

My birthday is late August and it seemed to have little impact on me academically, I loved school, but I did go to a very small primary school (15 pupils in the whole school!) so I don't know if that made a difference.

Would love to hear from other summer born parents or teachers. Any tips? Experiences? She's my oldest daughter, so this is all new to me - can you tell?!

I am absolutely certain your teacher will be really aware that some children might not be quite ready. They see this every year.

I am not a huge fan of putting the older children into Y1 and leaving the “babies” behind. It means they get even further behind their cohort because less is expected of them. By doing this they ensure different attainment and slower social development. I would have been livid because my summer born DD got a place at Oxford and was one mark short of full marks at 11 plus. The four children who did get full marks were all summer born! Why would they not be chosen to be with older children when they were clearly more advanced? They were. Even at a very young age. Several went to school reading! One was great at maths.

They should look far more at ability and maturity when splitting a class. Of course some parents hate that too. I’m just so glad we had two YR classes and half of them were a bright bunch so no problems of class organisation or who the children worked with. Half of the angst is a self fulfilling prophecy. Why can’t the youngest be as good if they are given the chance? Is it right that the brightest are kept back? No other stage of schooling does that.

Well, that doesn't bode well for us really. I am so very worried about it all.

Great suggestions
I would suggest ensuring they can recognise 1-20 and some phonics so they feel confident at the start of school and this makes up a little if they are behind physically or emotionally.
They need to feel good about themselves!

Yes, I feel that too. Perhaps having a bit of a step up would help. Thanks for that.

Loweylo I’m going to give my two penneth, which Bubbles will no doubt be appalled by, but... those reception kids who were clearly prepped before reception and could read a bit/write a bit/do some number work by the time they got there - guess what?? By age 7 they really had all found their natural position. The younger ones really weren’t disadvantaged. Nobody needs to fret about not reaching academic potential by the end of reception . Learning how to be in a group, sharing, socialising, getting used to a long day - all of those things will come. Just focus, as you said before, on lots of hugs and fun and be led by your DD. If she’s keen to practice reading etc go with it. DS didn’t move up the book colours as quickly as his older friend - no problem. One day it clicked and he’s now a 13yo who still loves reading. Fret not, I bet your DD will be just fine

Mine wasn’t “prepped” at all in the way you are suggesting. She went to the same nursery as lots of the other children. I didn’t spend hours hot housing her and neither did the other parents. Some children just are quite bright and are more advanced. The others may or may not catch up. Obviously plenty are average and that’s normal isn’t it?

I don’t know why you think I would be appalled! It’s just I’m aware that in DDs class, 4 eventually got Oxbridge places. It was fairly obvious they were talented at age 5 and they were summer born. All 4 of them. They were reading because they just picked it up themselves because parents made books available. They clicked early and kept on clicking. One child was bilingual. You really cannot stop a bright child learning. Also, this is what makes me positive about summer borns and passionate that they should not be labelled as under achieving and needing more time due to birth date. It’s like saying you organise sets at secondary school based on birth date not ability. You would never agree to that but in Yr and Y1, that’s ok. Is it?

I do understand the stats say they are disadvantaged and parents worry. However not all underachieve. Some do. I just think it’s best that if a child shows signs of wanting to learn at home, why would you not bother to facilitate that just because they are summer born and other wisdom says they just need cuddles and sleep? I don’t understand why anyone would do that. It’s fun to do pre school things with your child if they enjoy it.

Bubbles - was your DC school intake really small - am a bit gobsmacked that someone would care track university destinations of a reception class?

OP - I hope your DC settles in to school life and has a blast.

I know they seem so small, I live in an area where they start full time school at 3 ... DS is a July baby, so he was 3 years 2 months when he went to school in the Nursery class.

He was absolutely fine. Obviously I didn't do anything with him, I don't know if he was behind others in anything, if some of the older kids had already been taught how to read etc ... but his being younger than his peers has never dragged him down or been any kind of a problem for him.

All I was bothered about was that he was potty trained haha!

No, it wasn’t small, but have you heard of people keeping in touch by Facebook? It’s how we do it in the 21st century!

Also, if you read my posts, it was good that the children got to know each other and friendships developed with like minded children. That’s inevitable when your child works with these children and I know their parents. I know what loads of the others are doing too! DD keeps in touch and they went through the whole of primary together and in fact some of her friends went to the same universities together. It’s not that unusual!

Read to/withher every night, spend hours looking for the next book she’ll like, foster a love of reading that stay with her for life.

I wouldn’t worry about teaching phonics or reading etc. My summer born kids are thriving and have loved learning alongside their classmates.

Have to say i wouldnt have been happy with dd going automatically into the yr r class rather than yr r/1. She could already read cvc so the first book bands and just needed to learn the digraphs/tri and exception words. Could read grey/brown band by the end of yr r.
However just because you are good at one thing doesnt mean you wouldnt struggle with others as she isnt that great at quickly doing maths.
However even bright kids their attention may not be as good as kids a year older.

Some grammar schools now adjust the results as SB do less well (but they still take fewer SB anyway).
So i imagine a non selective state school has a higher proportion of SB than might be expected as more WB will have got into grammar/selective private.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I feel so conflicted and I don't really know what I should do about it.

On the one hand I think she seems bright (but then everyone thinks that about their kids!), but on the other I don't think she seems ready for school full time. I also haven't got any academic measures for how bright she is - she hasn't done any phonics or reading. She seems to pick things up very quickly and has a brilliant memory (reciting 20 + line poems we've read her at bedtime after hearing them 5 or 6 times)

But she's quite introverted and sensitive to her environment. She doesn't like certain smells, busy environments, noisy places etc... I think it takes her a while to feel comfortable somewhere. It's like her senses are on high and she can feel overwhelmed with things. It's hard to explain, but she's a little kooky. In a completely wonderful way. She has a wild and vivid imagination. All the women who work at the preschool always joke they're sure she'll be an author because she's such a storyteller.

I would really prefer it if she went in part time initially and worked her way up to full time. She seems to work better with things when she's introduced to them gradually. I think she'd be more receptive to learning and would concentrate better.

But the school she goes to always splits the classes. So next year (autumn 2019) she will be either in a full yr 1 class or in a split r / yr 1 class. I would much rather her go into the full yr 1 class. I'm not convinced she will learn as well in the split class. It will, most likely, be a combination of the children in yr 1 that are struggling the most and the eldest of the r children. I don't want her cast as a summer born struggler from the off. It seems unfair. She might well be just as bright, or brighter, than the average child. To complicate matters further, there is a Sept born child in the year below her that will most likely end up in that split class who has really teased my daughter (she lives on our street so we can't really avoid her) and I don't want them in the same class if possible.

If I push to send her in part time initially, which probably would be best for her now, then she might end up automatically streamed into the split class. This was in part the reason for this post - I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to give her the best chance this year.

It feels like a minefield. I am reassured by the success stories of summer borns doing well. I hope my daughter will too. I just have a suspicion that children that aren't emotionally or socially ready might not quite reach their potential in this system, even if they are bright. It's hard to do your best work if you're feeling uncomfortable, or are too scared to ask to go to the toilet.

Hi Lowley,

Do you know how your school splits the classes? If it is by age, there is nothing you can do, your DD will end up in the mixed class anyway. If it is by ability, then I am sure they will look at ability at the END of reception, rather than how long a child was part-time or some such. Equally if they look at 'maturity'.

So how do you increase the chances that your child reaches her potential best maturity/ability by the end of reception?

If you are certain that she learns best when well rested and you think full time will be too much for her/cause her to be too tired to learn properly, then stick to your guns. Don't believe that 'maximising time spent in school' is more conducive to optimal learning outcomes than 'being well rested and ready to learn at the times when she is in school'. School is highly inefficient for learning (from an individual perspective) - the gains from actually being able to learn when in school, due to being fresh and rested, definitely outweigh anything extra she might be able to learn in the extra time at school if she went full time but was constantly tired and at her limits.

The actual learning in reception could probably be achieved with half an hour one-to-one per day and lots of self-directed play. We found with our August birthday boy that learning slowed right down when he started school as we had no time for doing anything at all one-to-one anymore (due to him being too tired after a full day at school where he barely learned anything). Academically it would have been much better for him to go part-time. (We had other, compelling reasons to go full time but I regret - more so in hindsight - that we didn't really have the choice.)

Also you cannot make a child more 'mature' by putting them into a situation that goes beyond their current maturity just like you don't teach a child to swim by throwing them into the deep end from the start. If you want to ensure that your child develops smoothly (e.g. becomes more confident etc) then your child needs to be in situations that are appropriate to her current maturity, with a little bit of challenge for growth. Again that would speak for starting part-time if you feel she is not quite ready for full-time yet.

Our boy wasn't too shy to ask to go to the toilet but was struggling with spoken and unspoken rules in the new environment, when to interpret things literally and when not. Teacher said 'everyone that needs the toilet go now, we're having carpet time afterward and I don't want disruptions then'. DS didn't need the toilet so didn't go. Half way through carpet time he did need to go but thought he was no longer allowed, so wet himself (thus causing even more disruption obviously). This happened several times and there was little we could do about it from afar - until we instructed DS to go to the toilet EVERY breaktime, whether he needed to or not, and before lunch too (he had several times wet himself because he tought if he left during lunch his food would be cleared away/because lunch supervisors didn't let children leave before they had 'finished' and didn't listen to explanations/because he thought it wasn't allowed/because he worried another child would eat his pudding).

So for all these reasons, if you want to maximise your DD's learning, and therewith her chances of going into the Y1 class next year rather than the mixed class, send her to school part time if you feel that that would be best for her (and it sounds like you do) because what's best for her now will help her learn better and progress more.

And yes, my SB did well too and continues to - and yours might too. Statistics are just that, statistics - they say nothing about individual children.

(The memory thing is fantastic! My DS was like that too. I think it is a skill we lose as we learn to read and write and thus can record things for easily re-accessing later; we don't rely on, and don't practise, our memorisation skills and thus lose them.)

No, it wasn’t small, but have you heard of people keeping in touch by Facebook? It’s how we do it in the 21st century!

My parents know how many from my reception class got into Oxbridge in the late 90s too. Mainly because (despite having not seen him for 7 years due to him going private at secondary and me staying state) the other one recognised me when I walked past him in Fresher’s week.

Neither of us was that surprised to see the other....

@brilliotic Thank you so much for that. It's so useful to hear someone else's experiences. What your son did about going to the toilet sounds like what our daughter might do too.

Also you cannot make a child more 'mature' by putting them into a situation that goes beyond their current maturity just like you don't teach a child to swim by throwing them into the deep end from the start. If you want to ensure that your child develops smoothly (e.g. becomes more confident etc) then your child needs to be in situations that are appropriate to her current maturity, with a little bit of challenge for growth.

This is exactly how I feel too. It just seems to be at odds with how we've parented so far. We've always allowed for a bit of challenge, and given our daughter a chance to do just slightly more than she probably feels capable of, but never thrown her in at the deep end. It's not proved to be how she deals with things best. She also seems to need time to process things afterwards - usually by acting things out with her teddies. I think if she went in part time then she'd have the chance to do this. Otherwise I think it would be too hectic, especially as she won't finish school until 3.30pm and, with a walk home, we won't actually get back in until 4.00pm.

I'm pretty sure the school take into account things other than age when they split the children. Some of it is ability too. We asked that at the induction. My gut feeling is that our daughter would do much better going in part time and building up. I just have to convince them of that. I think they're quite negative about kids going in part time and, I suppose, I don't want to get off on the wrong foot.

I can't thank you enough for this. I really feel like it's made my mind up to at least go and speak to the school about it. You've explained it so eloquently. Thank you.

(I think you're right about memory - it really is amazing. I completely love it when kids do that!)

DS is end of August birthday and like you, we were told school did not want children being actively taught to read/phonics before starting reception. He seemed to spend most of reception playing outside ! By end of year 2 he was in top half of the class.

The two tips I would offer are
Read stories to your DD every single day for many more years - a good vocabulary helps when learning to read & you can always read something that is at a higher level than she can read.
Give her the odd duvet day in reception year when she is absolutely shattered, as she will be. Do not feel guilty about this.

Sorry if already covered but:
Preschool have practiced school cooked lunch procedures, have pegs, trays etc. Check if they are doing this and if so, go over with her the things that will be the same.
We just invited all the DCs going to my May-born DD's school, to her birthday party.
At my DCs' school they wear PE kit all day on PE day throughout the school. I obviously think this is the most sensible idea, but some schools do this in Reception so check if this is the case.
I would, actually, do some phonics if she's interested. We like the Alphablocks app and Hairy Phonics. Teach Your Monster To Read was great for DS who had already grasped a lot but it goes too quickly for DD. Obviously you don't need an app but my two love these.

Glad to be of help :)

I agree with others, if your DD is interested, there is no harm in doing some phonics and/or play around with numbers at home. The ideal time for learning is when the child is curious about something and wants to find out! It seems a shame to waste such opportunities in favour of making the child learn at a set time at school, when she might or might not be in the right frame of mind for learning.

And a word regarding 'the school is not keen on starting part-time' - in my experience (other schools may be better on this point than ours) the school is never keen on anything 'different'. They like to think they know best in all cases and prefer having all children doing the same thing. However it turns out that the same thing is not best for all children.

I think you are never going to convince a school that is anti-part-time-starts that part time is best for your child. Your best (most ameanable, cooperative) approach is probably to say straight out to them that 'We have decided that DD should start part-time' (rather than 'we are thinking about it, what do you think?') and then say that you are keen to discuss which part-time solution would work best for all involved. E.g. mornings only, or 3 or 4-day-weeks, or a mix of full days and half days; which days are afternoons important and which less so (e.g. Friday afternoon in many schools very little learning happens, but Monday afternoons they might have the same thing e.g. topic and so she'd completely miss out on topic if she misses Monday pm).

Regarding phonics and numbers:
You can easily include 'phonemic awareness' into your every day conversations. Just talk about what sound a word starts with (sound, not letter!), and about rhyming words (lots in stories e.g. Julia Donaldson), what sound is at the end of a word, etc. And you can point out letters on street signs, number plates and such. Also apps as suggested above, if she enjoys playing on a screen.
Same with numbers. You don't say how she is with numbers, but there is no harm in counting with her (reciting numbers in order and actually counting things e.g. steps, sweets) and finding one more/one less (if you eat one of your 7 sweets, how many will you have left for later?) and such.
I find 'Numberblocks' on CBBees very, very good and the Dragonbox app 'Numbers' for developing number sense. Also 'Maths Seeds' - you could try to find a 5 week free trial code, my kids both liked this and frequently asked to do it, and picked up a lot of maths along the way.
All of this strictly only if DD is keen!

My DD is starting reception this year too, but she is already 4 (and a bit) and a completely different child, and I am more relaxed as she's my DC2, that helps too!