Another child threw a stone at my ds.

[elliejjtiny]

Both children in year 5. My ds is 10, not sure about the other boy but he will be nearly 10 or 10 already. Both dc have SN, mine has physical and sensory problems, not sure about the other boy but he has been doing this kind of thing a lot since reception. School say it was a deliberate and unprovoked attack.

Anyway, my ds now has a massive graze under his eye, about the size of a 50p coin, a tiny nick in the corner of his eyelid and his eye is a bit bloodshot. He has been very lucky, everyone who sees him seems to know someone who lost the sight in their eye like that.

Ds has been understandably very upset and has been crying at school. School secretary and class teacher have said it has been dealt with and the boy has been punished.

Is there anything else I can be doing? I don't want to get the school into trouble, they have a lot of children with sn and an ever decreasing budget like most schools and they are doing their best. If I complain to someone higher up like lea or Ofsted will the boy who threw the stone get the support he needs of will it just cause problems for the school. I'm wondering if my ds didn't have his physical disabilities and problems with depth perception would he have been able to see the stone coming and got out of the way. Should I be pushing the school for more support for my ds. I'm not sure what to do to be honest.

I think if this is a one-off incident and the school say they have dealt with it then you will have to let it go. If there is a history / back story then perhaps you need to ask to go in to talk to the head and ask how they are protecting the children to stop this happening again.

not sure about the other boy but he has been doing this kind of thing a lot since reception
For me, this is a huge red flag and says i needs to go further up as it is a safeguarding issue that says they can't cope with this child.

Thankyou. This is the first time my son has been hurt by this boy but him throwing things has been going on for a long time. They had to get all the children out of the classroom once because he was throwing chairs around but it's usually small things in the classroom, like pencils and rulers etc.

I don't know much about his specific needs but I'm assuming he must be extremely upset if he is doing this. My ds will very very occasionally lash out when he is in sensory overload but thankfully there are always warning signs and these days I can remove him from the situation and calm him down before he gets that bad. It's almost always me that he hits, he's never hit anyone at school thank goodness. So I understand the other boy can't help it and needs more support. If me complaining to the lea will mean he gets the support he needs then I will do that but if it's just going to cause more stress for his parents and the school then there is no point. My ds isn't going to have any lasting damage and he will be fine in a week or so.

I also have a sen child and had a sen brother so can understand. The problem is that he would be better getting help now than when he starts senior school in just over a year.
Plus the school have equal responsibility to the other children and their safety.

Your complaint won’t help him get the support he needs. If he has a “statement” the level of help is enshrined in that. It could be the school are not good at supporting him and he probably doesn’t have one to one supervision. The statement is reviewed annually and it’s down to his parents, the school and possibly an EP to review his needs and schooling.

If he does not have a “statement” his parents and the school might be trying to get one. Your intervention won’t help with that process either. If you think a SEN child should be excluded because of his behaviour or you think the school is incompetent in their duty towards all the other children, you can say this to the Head but I’m not sure it will help. The way this child is managed is a matter for his parents and the school and I have no doubt his parents are as worried as you are. One assumes the school has followed their behaviour and sanctions policy and it’s very likely his parents have had to go into school to talk about this incident, which was, of course, worrying. Perhaps the school could try and remove stones from the playground?

Thankyou. Definitely no 1 to 1 at the moment. I will leave it up to the school to deal with then. I don't think he should be excluded, just get better support so he won't get so upset. I don't know much about his specific needs though so don't know what can be done to help him.

Even with the 'right help' a child may still lash out

You could ask what steps are being taken to ensure this boy's behaviour is being managed at break/lunch time. It may need a Mid-day Meals Supervisor or a TA keeping a closer eye on him. Or it may be (if he's ASD) that these unstructured times are causing some stress for him and a lower sensory arousal is needed, like a nurture/friendship kind of club with a couple of friends and an adult, in a quiet space.

As you've gathered, schools have decreasing ability to fund staff for 1:1 for those kids that need the support in mainstream. Working in school I find it extremely frustrating that our hands are tied and know that many staff go beyond to do their best, missing lunch often in the process. If I thought complaining to the Head would work, I'd say go for it, but there's nothing to stop you finding out what is going on that will maybe alleviate any worries for your own DS if he's still getting upset.