Advice needed on Academy’s duty on inclusion

[ThoughtlessnessIsNoExcuse]

NC as very outing. Sorry long post but really need advice.

My DD has been at a small village primary for 4 1/2 year. There are only 6 girls in her year and the year is very gender orientated. DD is very bright (school love her academic ability) and seems well liked.

DD has an food allergy which obviously has to be managed for lunchtime (not perfect but they try). She is not the only child in school with the allergy. It’s an easy to manage allergy and at we have repeatedly offered, every year, to come in, advise, or provide alternatives. School have declined all responsibility over food brought in. As it’s not a ‘dangerous nut allergy’ they refuse to advise parents to make the numerous treats sent in free from the allergen.

So for 4 1/2 years every single birthday and edible homework she’s left out. Obviously we’ve provided alternatives and asks every time why nobody thinks of her, as she knows it’s easy to do. She seems to be well liked but it’s soul destroying for her.

Then there’s the stuff school is responsible for. In Yr 2 DD was bullied by both a girl and the teacher. Girl’s bullying was dealt with but she continues to be overbearing (she’s like this to everyone but particularly DD). Yr2 Teacher vocally complained and labelled her horribly e.g. physically slow. Yes she’s rubbish at sport (like us) and dreads sports events but takes part nonetheless when included (usually only include the sporty ones). The kids learnt the teacher’s labelling in Yr 2 and it has stuck.

No school activities include her dietary needs: Santa’s treats are never substituted, there is never an easily bought alternative for the bought stuff. I’ve offered to show them which are OK or provide stuff but they’ve never contacted me. Even residentials don’t have the promised appropriate alternatives.

In her time at the school there have been numerous opportunities to build her confidence on committees and and being the buddy for new starters. Out of approx 15 opportunities for the 6 girls she has never been allocated a role. All the other girls have repeatedly. Today overbaring girl (she’s like this to everyone) has again been given a role (mentoring) DD asked for.

With no idea why all this is happening I’m not sure how much her self confidence can stand of this ‘being left out. I have seriously looked into moving her but all the local schools are over subscribed in her yrpear and we can’t afford private.

I am 100% confident when I raise it school will just ‘manage’ me yet again.

Please has anyone got any advice??

I am surprised at all these continual “treats”. I have tried to work out what our policy is on this where I am a governor and I believe it’s that we don’t have treats brought in from home for precisely the reasons you mention. We have to include our allergy children and other parents won’t. Therefore no home food in class because the school cannot control other parents. We have a duty to keep the allergy children safe and but I don’t believe a school can control brought in food so we don’t allow it. Other than lunch.

Food seems to be a big part of this school which seems very different to ours. A school has to make reasonable adjustments for medical need. Therefore if they provide “treats” they make the necessary adjustment and buy something appropriate. Or you could drop off something suitable if you would rather. She should not be denied learning opportunities due to an allergy. Although what’s “reasonable” can be argued about! It sounds like they might argue.

You should have an Individual Healthcare Plan for your DD which is reviewed annually and you agree what to do in the food situations that arise. The plan should include procedures for your child to avoid allergens and also what training is provided for staff and who the lead member of staff is. Who is managing your DDs allergy at school? Have you got a plan?

Regarding horrible children - sadly they are everywhere. Some teachers don’t get it either. It seems there is a big training gap here. They would never get away with talking about a disabled child the way they have about your DD and it needs to stop. It’s always noticable when teachers have favourites and pick some children over and over again. I actively dislike it and I think you must tackle it. With only 6 girls it must be very obvious!

It’s sad you cannot change schools but I think you really must advocate for your DD. Make an appointment to see the Head. I don’t think you have much to lose. It’s a great shame food features so much at this school. Could they adopt a healthy eating policy perhaps and cut out treats!?

@BubblesBuddy thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed reply. We have never heard of an individual healthcare plan despite trying to engage school in discussion multiple times a year. Thank you for sign posting this and I will use it as a path to gain some change.
In the past we’ve tried to address the treats issue with school but have got less than nowhere (their action was more distressing than doing nothing). I think the ‘healthy school’ idea is best. They do claim to be but clearly aren’t. However we avoided this appraisal it could be identified as coming from us and the backlash would have been terrible for DD.

approach not appraisal (clearly my mind is still on work)

Hello Thoughtlessness. You should find the school's approach to medical conditions in a policy. It could be in Health and Safety, or be a separate policy which specifically deals with medical issues that chidren might have, eg long term, short term, medicines in school etc. Nonetheless, it should have one and you can certainly ask to see it. I believe allergies are dealt with in a Healthcare Plan because it should specify what "reasonable adjustments" are going to be made. That, in my view, should say how your DD is to be included in activities and learning provided by the school which involve food. Perhaps if you post in SEN, you might get people more experienced than me in this.

It is important to the vast majority of schools that children are included as far as possible and "reasonable" actions are taken. Also, have a look at other schools web sites and see what they do. You can often build up a picture of what is reasonable. One school near me actually specifies how they deal with allergies.

My ds has multiple food allergies, and we renew health care plan every year.
He is included in everything, including treats. Even some children bringing in birthday treats sometimes bring in something safe for him.
If they are giving out treats at school, they always call me to check if it's ok or not.
We normally provide alternatives for cooking and parties at school.
Your school's attitude is appalling.

It sounds to me like edible treats are a far too big part of the school.

Secondly, do look into a medical plan that school can follow for residentials and compulsory things. Honestly, they should be scaling back how often they are doing treats and snacks. Not only is it not terribly healthy but it seems to set up the mentality of need a pick me up so have something to eat/ need to reward someone so get the sweets.

Nasty teachers, there's some out there. Others it's a personality clash.

In terms of opportunities, is your DD putting herself forward? Telling the teacher she wants to be involved etc? If she isn't then the teacher can't be psychic and work it out.

There's loads of issues there. Some are outright awful, others it might be a simple reason.

Thank you all for reassuring me that allergies should be considered. The school have been so dismissive, year after year (and other parents) that it’s painted a picture of us being unreasonable. Even appropriate recipes for cooking lessons were only considered when I emailed teacher directly it turned out lessons to start next day and no arrangements had been made. Even then they declined any input from us. We are the only allergy in class and everyone knows if it. So far, despite our best efforts, we’ve only achieved a single paragraph in one newsletter urging parents to consider allergies when sending in treats.

It’s good to hear there are School’s out there that do have a more egalitarian approach. As far as I can find out the local schools all have a similar ‘hard cheese’ policy but I will look a bit further afield. We recognise once she gets to high school she’ll just have to put up with it, but in primary we expected better.

Forgot to say, yes she puts herself forward for everything, she’s amazing. Suppose me being one of the only working mums has got her used to going to clubs etc. I was even there when she asked to be a ‘buddy’.

Off to google for allergy policies and write an appropriate email about a healthcare plan and favouritism.

Thank you everyone!

In which case it sounds to me like the teacher (intentionally or not) is doing the predictable thing of allocating things to extroverts.

It's easily done and can be done innocently, though staff should be mindful that unconscious bias can mean louder students regularly get more airtime and attention.

If you think it is deliberate, could you call for a chat. Focus on what opportunities you might like DD to have and don't mention 'but other girl...'

In our school, we stopped allowing children to bring in birthday sweets, as we had so many children with allergies.
Whenever we do give out treats in school, which are mainly pta driven, movie nights, easter treats etc we have alternative sweets for those with allergies.
One mum of a child with several allergies brings in a small box of treats that her teacher keeps safe, so she does not miss out if treats are being given out for whatever reason.

Often other children will be told about an allergy child so they don’t offer the wrong food. Nuts on a school trip for example.

I do wonder if the village school makes a difference here. Food is comfort. Treats are a comfort and a reward. It feels to me that it’s trying to replicate a family. I have not seen this in larger schools.

Also larger schools tend to have more allergy children. It’s inevitable. Therefore they may be more up to speed with inclusion, medical plans and how to manage other children and parental treats coming into school through a healthy eating policy. Just a thought.

Yes, I believe size of school if definitely an issue here. Plus of other girls: one has issues (overbearing/bully) so is on teachers’ minds, the others all had very involved stay-at-hone-parents. I’ve tried to be involved around work but am very clearly not as ‘in mind’ as others.

Had a lovely chat with DD tonight and framed it in the terms above to move away from ‘why doesn’ anyone care about me’. She’s a really good student and never causes issues, we always have blush-worthy glowing reports. So I think she is one of those it’s safe to leave to her own devices and not have to think about her too much.

So we decided she hasn’t got it in her to become ‘a bit of a trouble maker’ to get noticed (had a lovely giggle at that one) so DH and I need to get more visible, and even more pushy.

School has form on not acknowledging or dealing with ‘stuff’ and was forced into significant reorganisation a while ago.

Update
Thank you everyone for your advice. The school have now appeared to sat up and acknowledged some responsibility for those with allergies. They now have a draft allergy policy and we’ve actually done a ‘Healthplan’ with someone who understood inclusion.
Unfortunately, despite giving them evidence of school exacerbating a bullying situation (making her the only girl not picked for anything in 5 years despite all others being picked 6-15 times) they deny it. They’ve said it’s just our perception... but can’t tell us any time when she has been included.
The school has form for favouritism and denying bullying (dropped into special measures due to it a few years ago) but we thought they had turned a corner. Seems not. We’d prefer not to make formal complaints (Academy, so to Govenors?) but not sure what else to do.

Any suggestion?

*sit up (sorry for typos, haven’t got my glasses on)

I think you should look up the complaints policy because they must have one. This will tell you how the complaints procedure works. It might be to the Governors but I don’t want to guess what it says.

You should try and frame the complaint about lack of inclusion for pupils with additional medical needs. You can cite occasions when your DD has not been included in activities and certainly ask for their proof of when she has been included.

I think weak Governors seek to gloss over the actions of a Head. They can be mutually supportive of each other, rather than doing the right thing. It’s extremely difficult to get the oil tanker of school ethos to turn around. I wish you well - and make plenty of noise.

Just checked the website for the complaints policy. It refers to one but there is nothing there. While I should ask for it I think we have to give them one more chance before we go down the formal complaint route.

You wouldn’t believe it but DD is a star pupil academically, liked by staff and we offer school any support we can. How did we get here?!?!

I would ask them for a copy of the complaints policy. Even if you don't yet intend to use the procedure. It might make them realise that they are not addressing your concerns.
I'm glad they are now looking at managing your daughter's allergy.

I second asking for a copy of the complaints policy, it will firstly make them sit up and listen and secondly show you how to go about doing it.

We have children in my son's old primary with multiple allergies, milk, egg, nuts and school meals are made with this in mind, even the desserts. Did you know you can make a chocolate mousse from the water in a chickpea can? No dairy needed!

Every food tasting day they consider the children with allergies, brainstorm and confirm with parents over to what to give them to include them. This is a 3 form entry school so 90 children in a year group, and they manage it.

Also why would you not want to make a complaint? How exactly will it make things worse? You need to stand up for your daughter because no-one else will

I think that expecting other parents to always cater for a child with an allergy is a bit too much. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable letting a child in my class take a treat from a parent claiming it was 'x free', when I have no idea about their kitchen or how they have prepared the food. Someone may think an item is nut free because they haven't put any nuts in it, but it could be contaminated.

I have a few Tupperware boxes of treats in my freezer in my classroom for students with allergies. If I know a parent is bringing in treats, I take one out of each child and defrost it so that they can still have something. I think this is a 'reasonable adjustment'. I do not agree with banning food because one child can't eat certain items.

If we're doing a class based activity, I will always make sure I cater. For example, we made milkshakes a few weeks ago and I think I had about six different types of milks to cater for everyone. But I do think that the parent that wanted their child to participate in a cooking elective who wanted everything to be egg free, dairy free, nut free, wheat free, shellfish free, gluten free and vegan was unreasonable, as the child could have chosen any of the other 30 options on offer. Child has no specific allergies, the diet is the parents choice.

Hi midnightscribbker I think we’re talking about different things. I find it difficult to see a very young child excluded from every single celebration and treat for nearly 5 years due to having the only, easy to manage, allergy in class. If DC had been included a few times, even just by close friends, it wouldn’t have been so totally crushing. But NOTHINGG.
If we had supplied treat for the class but missed out a couple of kids because box/bag/recipe didn’t stretch that far there would have been appropriate uproar.
If school had ever contacted us to forward plan for anything and had made any reasonable adjustments (outside of times when we knew of activities and went in to sort it) it would have been ok. But NOTHING! We completely understand constraints due to finance and knowledge so have offered to provide anything necessary. But NOTHING!
Together with bullying this has crushed DCs self esteem.

Thankfully, as mentioned above, our school now seem to be starting to consider allergy management.

TheMagnoliaTree In my professional life I find it effective to try and resolve issues informally if possible to reduce issues due to overly defensive responses which frequently follow formal proceedings. We will definitely explore a formal complaint if we exhaust informal options, but we want to give them a fair chance first.

I have been fighting for DC since birth so please feel confident I completely take on board my responsibility to fight for my DC’s welfare. But I also know the limits of my knowledge so have asked for advice here.Though I’m a very cautious person on social media I felt it was worth possibly outing us, and staff from our school reading and reacting to this.

Thanks again for the good advice and we continue to try and be heard by the school’s management.

I think your basic problem is continual treats. My children’s schools just didn’t engage in this. Mainly because of the difficulty and celebrating birthdays in school isn’t really necessary beyond YR! My DD1 never even got that as an August birthday!

I hope they consider medical needs in future and hopefully move towards healthy eating. I don’t know of a single teacher who kept sweet treats for children. They were rewarded by the school’s rewards policy and it didn’t involve food! This is such a silly way of rewarding children and is obviously going to cause problems as are an influx of cakes, sweets and other treats from home. It’s just unnecessary so I would look at their Rewards and Behaviour policy and see where treats come into it! I bet they don’t.

But why were you sitting back and waiting for the school to come to you? Every single parent of a child with allergies in my class rocked up to the first day of school with a plastic container of muffins or bag of lollipops for me to put aside for when someone brings in birthday treats. I honestly have no idea which days someone is going to bring something in until I get handed it in the morning (or some parents who appear at the door two minutes before the bell), so no time to ring every parent of a child with an allergy and ask them if they can have it. Be proactive and send her in with a box of premade treats for the teacher to give out.