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11 plus and grammar schools

12 replies

dawnsso · 10/06/2018 15:52

Mums - think carefully before trying to get your child into either the local Comprehensive school or the grammar! My daughter was on the borderline of passing the 11 plus and I wanted her to go to the grammar. I went to see the headmistress about

OP posts:
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gallicgirl · 10/06/2018 15:56

?? are you thinking carefully?

Grin
dawnsso · 10/06/2018 15:58

...it but her argument was that it would be better for my daughter to be at the top of the comprehensive than bottom at the grammar. Big mistake! Because of her middle class upbringing, she was bullied by the mostly working class children at the comprehensive and did not thrive there at all! After less than a year she was put down to set 2, lost all her confidence, and finally left school with not many useful qualifications.

OP posts:
xyzandabc · 10/06/2018 16:16

Do you mean a true comprehensive (that take and cater for everyone) or do you mean secondary modern (who only take those that didn't pass the 11+) ? Full grammar counties don't have comprehensive schools.

I've seen it from the other side whereby the DC did pass the 11+ and went to grammar school. They felt that they were the stupidest person on the planet, started school refusing, fell in with the wrong crowd, ended up in a pupil referral unit and only 1 GCSE (a D in English). They are fine now 25 years later but put their parents through hell during the teenage years. Had they not passed and gone to the secondary modern, I think the outcome would have been much more positive.

Your op is unclear whether your DD took the 11+ and failed, in which case grammar
was never an option regardless of what you wanted. Or was she not entered at all due to advice from the head.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, it might not have been a ball if she had gone to the grammar either, bullying happens there too. It sounds like the problem was with the lack of action on bullying at the school she did go to rather than not getting in to the grammar.

If she can work hard from now on, there is nothing stopping her being successful in her life. Don't dwell on the past, that can't be changed, but move on and help her see what she can achieve if she wants to.

Wearelocal · 10/06/2018 16:19

Confusing OP! Comprehensives are completely mixed ability. I went to one and have a great career.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 10/06/2018 16:20

If she didn’t pass her 11+ where else could she have gone? The grammar wouldn’t take her

BottleOfJameson · 11/06/2018 09:37

From the OP it's clear that she either just passed the 11+ and had the option of grammar or just failed and had the option of appealing. The secondary modern's near me are pretty dismal and can't be compared to a comprehensive with mixed ability ranges.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 11/06/2018 09:42

Oh ok. I read it that the headteacher was just reassuring her that she’d be ok at secondary modern.

shiklah · 11/06/2018 09:42

I don’t understand your op. If she’d passed the 11plus she’d have had a choice of schools and I don’t understand why you didn’t pick the grammar - I’ve never heard of anyone passing and choosing the comprehensive before -what would be the point I’m doing the test? If she didn’t pass she had no choice. It’s a shame it didn’t work out for her but she can redo qualifications as am adult if she chooses, a career lasts 40 years or so, she shouldn’t give up now!

W00t · 11/06/2018 09:43

Why do you assume other parents will make poor choices for their children?
I know my children's strengths and weaknesses well enough to choose the most apt school for them.

W00t · 11/06/2018 09:45

trying to get your child into either the local Comprehensive school or the grammar!
And what other choices do you think people have? Confused
Or do you mean you should have chosen independent school, but again some children do terribly in some independent schools, and some are superb.

Thehogfather · 11/06/2018 09:51

Whatever the rights or wrongs of grammar versus comprehensive, and whatever the particular differences of your two choices, please don't pretend the problem was working class dc versus her middle class upbringing.

UnderthePalms · 11/06/2018 10:17

I assumed op didn't put her dc in for the 11+ as the head said she'd be better off in a sec mod and she now regrets not trying. I might be wrong though

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