Struggling single mum & Child behind in Reception

[meowimacat]

I feel really crappy - just been pulled aside yet again by my child's teacher to be told my child - who is the oldest in his Reception class - is behind everyone else at school.

It's been a year since myself and my ex split and I became a single mum of two children. Our separation coincided with my child starting Reception class, and I feel like I probably wasn't as good at teaching things to him in preparation for starting school as I'd have liked.

This last year has been very difficult for me, I took on the extortionate rent for the family home, run my own business which is struggling and I work around school hours. I do 90% of the childcare - my ex see's the children when his work allows him to, so sometimes can be 2-3 weeks before he see's them again. I have no family nearby to help ever. I feel like I'm just about getting by at the moment, feel like I've had a few breakdowns over the last year where I feel out of my depth. I have explained this to the school before.

I just feel awful and admit maybe I have been selfish and not been teaching them as much as I should or devoting as much time to helping with their education. I've just felt exhausted and sometimes maybe been selfish with my time. But I'm clearly not doing a good enough job and I'm so embarrassed I have yet again been told my child is behind. I have to go in next week to discuss exactly what they think he is behind on this time.

Between school and bed time we have a few hours a night - which includes bath time, homework time (they get a LOT every night - sometimes we don't do it) and play time and me cooking/them eating dinner. Also sometimes I have to take them to jobs with me.

I'll be honest, sometimes the last thing I feel like doing after all that is even more work with them. I'm exhausted too.

Can anyone recommend anything I can do to help him catch up? Any learning websites or work sheets I could use? With the Summer holidays coming up I'm wondering if there are any kind of clubs that would help him catch up.

I do believe in playing, and so this is why I don't put pressure on him to learn. I realise he's only 5 and a half, and has time to learn.

But the guilt of not doing enough is so bad now, I feel awful for being such a useless mum. :( I hated school and was always below average, and I hate for my child is being seen that way due to me being useless.

What an awful attitude from the school. If they have concerns about your child they need to discuss them very specifically with you and tell you what they are putting in place to help.

If this isn't what happened I would request a meeting with the teacher and possibly senco. I would also tell them that he's not doing homework every night on account of the fact that it's stupid to expect it at this age.

What strikes me is how unsupportive school are being you and your children are going through a difficult time. All of your worlds have been turned upside down and you have told them that you have very little help and are struggling.
Their focus should be more pastorally is your boy coping, is he happy. All that homework in reception is unnecessary for him and is counterproductive for you. All the studies show there is no benefit to any other homework apart from reading in KS1.
I say all of this as a Mum whose marriage broke down in year 3 with a DD in an academic independent school. Reception we only ever have reading, year 1 and 2 the only other work was 10 spellings a week.
When my marriage broke down school supported both of us, never put any pressure on, provided emotional support for DD.