DS classmate talking about suicide

[HairyPorter]

Hi all,

I need some advice on this- 8 y.o. DS came back from school and asked me what it meant to 'commit suicide'. I was very shocked at this and it transpired a classmate (child a) had mentioned it in passing. I've taken it up with the class teacher, and it seems it was actually another child (child b) in the class who has been talking about suicide in front of the other children. The teacher has spoken to child b's parents and is satisfied they're addressing the issue, and although they're keeping a close eye on the situation they're not doing anything further. They haven't spoken to any of the other parents (and don't intend to)

I still feel quite disturbed by it. I don't know if the other parents are aware of it, but I can't help thinking that this must be affecting the other children too.

Any advice?

What do you mean when you say it must be affecting the other children? How has it affected your son and what would you like the school to do? Tell all parents about this 8 year old and the issues he might be facing? I don't understand what it is you expect the school to do.

I'm confused, was the child seriously talking about committing suicide, or just talking about suicide, the first is concerning if genuine, the second is completely normal, and I'm surprised an 8 year old does not know what suicide is.

Children need to learn about these things. So long as the child wasn't talking like they were genuinely going to commit suicide it's good to talk about openly.

My son learnt the term through games, when you deliberately die in a game in order to quit it's referred to as committing suicide. In this sense the term is not upsetting or disturbing to children, who haven't thought about the actual real world consequences and sadness such an action brings.

So unless the child is talking about wanting to commit suicide, or using it in a dark/humanistic way (I would miss mummy if she committed suicide), then I would say this is a term learnt through gaming, but although it is understood in one sense, it isn't really appreciated in a real-world way.

Same here, my ds learnt the term through playing game. And I can totally see that some parents disapprove such a game. But my ds hasn't been affected in negative way by learning this word.

We have always openly talked about suicide as out family has been closely touched by it. We've just been honest. It's sad but a fact of life.

We are in a car with ds when we heard the news of Kate Spade yesterday. I have a Kate Spade bag I have been using for years, so we had a conversation among 3 of us. Ds wasn't traumatised by it, though it is sad thing to hear.

I have noticed a recent rise in children threatening to kill themselves when they are angry or not getting their own way. I suppose it always has been around but the language has changed from “kill myself” to “commit suicide”.

As a school, the priority will be the child that has threatened such and ensuring right support is put in place quickly. Most of the time it is just a temper tantrum. But, not always.

As for what to do with rest of the class is different depending on the class. The shock of hearing this for the first time and any upset it causes is usually done on a one to one basis if needed.

If concerned about your child, speak to the school. Talk to your own child to help them understand.

Some days, I feel like the only thing I do in class is support children through their mental health issues.