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Would you move?

5 replies

northernfail · 03/06/2018 22:26

DD1, year 5, has been asking to change schools for a long time, with no real reason given. The reasons are changeable, usually temporary, or something like 'the work isn't hard enough', 'the other kids don't work hard and are annoying'- i.e. things that I think are true of every school. It has been at least four years she's been asking, and four years where she's appeared happy at the school, and is progressing well. Schools here are not oversubscribed.

DD2 is due to start a year in September, but is a summeer baby, has mild SEN, is immature, and I plan to hold her back a year. This will likely be simple where we live. Current school does not have a pre-school/nursery, and DD2 is currently in a private nursery, but has the opportunity to attend a better pre-school at another local school, neither current nor potential new school, a third one, until she starts at current school. Geographically, putting DD2 in new school, not current nursery or third school, when DD1 is where she is, would be a nightmare.

To appease DD1, I agreed to look at other schools. I found one that has a pre-school, and could take both DDs from September- one drop off! I think it would suit DD2 well, and would mean only one move for her. And one drop off, plus wraparound care for both kids, which current school does not do. However, there still feels no good reason to move DD1 at all, and I worry she'll have all the same gripes at the other school. It feels a big disruption when she is happy and achieving. As current school is a faith school, she'll lose priority for admissions to the better secondary, and I don't think her, absent, father will consent to a move, so it could cause conflict for no reason. School 2 is smaller than current school, with a high proportion of SEN. DD1 is bright. DD1 is so nearly finished at primary, my gut says stick it out, her point is she's already stuck it out a long time, and wants to move.

I have tried pressing DD1 on why, but she just can't articulate it.

WWYD?

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PartyAnxiety · 04/06/2018 11:05

Does DD1 have a group of friends in her current school? Is there something else bothering her and she feels the move will magically solve it?

northernfail · 04/06/2018 16:02

Yes, and no. If I knew what the problem was, I'd try and sort it, or at least weigh up whether moving would help. She cannot articulate why.

I wonder if she thinks being the new girl will be special. I really don't know why, but it's a consistent, persistent request, for years.

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Cadencia · 04/06/2018 16:06

Losing the priority admissions for a better secondary is a serious problem with the new school. As she's only got one more year of primary, and given that she doesn't seem to be seriously unhappy, I think that should outweigh all the other factors. Could you take her to secondary school open days and let her see the different options - then she could have some input into that decision, rather than into the primary school decision?

KateGrey · 04/06/2018 16:10

So she’s coming to the end of year 5? I’d be tempted to stick out current school to be honest. Especially if you want her to go to a specific secondary.

northernfail · 04/06/2018 16:14

To add to the confusion, there is a local grammar, so if she chooses that, then the faith element is less crucial. For the faith school, it would bump here down one category, which may not make any difference, so while it's a concern, it's not massive. Her father objecting, however, that is a battle I CBA with, if it's not needed.

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