Is 3.5 too little to start school five afternoons a week? Has anyone deferred a place they've been offered?

[hunkermunker]

I'm thinking yes, too little.

What happens if you defer?

If I take this place, preschool (two mornings a week) till summer hols, then school nursery (five afternoons a week) from September.

If I defer, two mornings a week till summer hols at preschool, three mornings from September, then school nursery from January.

Twig, after the fainting incident and the amount that DS sleeps I would love him not to sleep in the afternoons, he goes to bed at 7.30 and wakes at about 7.30 and still naps. It's not right. I used to think I was lucky but now I want to know that he is alright.

No, they start the little ones in the afternoon, then move them to mornings when they're bigger. So that also has issues wrt DS1 going and DN going as MIL will have to make eight trips to and fro if they do different sessions.

My ds started nursery/pre school age 3.3 so I can really understand your worries.

The first 2 weeks were a bit rocky as he had only ever been with me, although we did go on lots of play dates and M & T groups, but of course I was always there.

He has now been there for 8 months and loves it. I have seen a real change in him and its great. First week he had to be peeled away from me in hysterics, now we go in and he turns and says (very dismissively!) "You can go now mummy".

They do seem to start them very early these days - I didnt start any type of schooling til I was 5.5, but I suffered because of it.

Try it and see what happens......

The nursery he currently attends are recieving the funding for him so are not bothered. I think they are secretly pleased that they have one less child to worry about. TBH I thought it was a little strict, after all they are 3 and not going to behave all of the time. As for sounding like Xenia, one of the reasons that I think he was tired was because 2 days a week he goes to my CM who does morning groups and then took him to 'school' in the afternoons. I have to keep these two days until my mat leave ends to keep his place when I return to work.

but if you defer ds, by then he'll be almost 4 and due to go to Reception in the September so woudln't he be considered one of the bigger ones? Is DN same age or younger ?

speak to the school about making sure DN and DS are in same classes .. they will make exceptions for children to help out the carer and minimise school trips in general

I think your ds' 'programme' sounds much nicer on the 'if you defer' list. Two mornings, then three, then Nursery later on.

I'd defer if it was me.

He has umpteen years of doing school every day and he will never get these pre-school free days again, I think they're precious and he sounds like a boy who will gain alot from NOT being on the 'every day' treadmill just yet.

I'd go for it, moi, but then DD2 is absolutely ecstatic on the days when she has two pre-school sessions in succession.

Hi my ds is a late August baby so has been doing 5 afternoons a week since he had just turned three. He does an extended afternoon 12.45 to 5.30 at a council run nursery centre (they give him tea) and sometimes he doesn't want to leave when I get there. He is really thriving and has come on a long way. He does get tired and by friday will sometimes fall asleep on the sofa at 6.30pm. I also try to make sure he has some extra naps on the weekend to catch up. I try not to rush him in the mornings he wakes up around 7.30ish as I am getting ready for work and I let him blob on the sofa watching Milkshake with a beaker of milk for 45 mins until he gets going.

If you think he is too little, then he is probably too little

Mine BOUNCED into preschool every afternoon at that age. And he only really got tired in friday evenings.

You could always keep him off Wednesdays if he doesn't cope - but if you don't take it and he has an energy surge (highly likely) in 6 months, you'll be peed off

Dss both were given afternoon nursery places. In retrospect - if I had my time over - I would have declined the place/deferred for a term or so until a morning place was available. Afternoons just finished them off really.

I think it depends on what Hunker means by too little. I think the issue is the afternoon nap which I can understand.

ok, to be fair, dd dropped her nap at 20 months so it wasn't an issue. But when she was at nursery school, reception etc I often had to wake ds up so that I could take/collect dd as there was no-one else to do it. It's easier when the second child is a baby but I had to 'train' ds to nap at different times so that I could pick up dd from school.

Plus at dd's Nursery school there was only one intake; so I either accepted the place or waited until Reception (which still would have meant waking ds up!)

Children can and will adapt.

Lots of posts - I'll try to answer them - this is helping, thanks!

DS1's doing well at preschool - he's "quietly confident" now, which is great. If he goes to school nursery this September, he'll be there over a year - he doesn't start school till January 2009 (I'm not sure why he's been a Sep intake for the nursery - I can only imagine there was a space for him - as round here a lot of schools have an end of Feb birthday cut-off for Sep admission).

LIZS, he won't start reception till January 2009, so he'll have a year at school nursery, rather than a year and a term. He'll have another term at preschool too, which I think will be a gradual transition for him.

HG, that's how I felt - he'll never have these school-free days again and I think they're precious - I hadn't realised how much I felt like that till I realised there weren't many left if he went in September.

Colditz, he'll just go to preschool another morning a week if he gets an energy surge. And I'll get a hamster wheel or something for the garden

Twiglett, DN is a month younger. If they alter the sessions so that they both do afternoons (so DN can start with his fellow littlies), then DS1 will have his friends going to mornings and he'll be put with new children who are settling in, which is a bit pointless for the sake of starting him in September if he doesn't have to, I think.

Looks like I've made my mind up, haven't I! Thanks for helping

Sorry, meant to add - Mercy, I know children do adapt and if there was only one intake and it meant DS1 had to go in September, I'd just take him then and see how he went. But I don't think he's ready, I think it'd mean he'd be in school nursery for too long and if he doesn't have to adapt, I don't want him to for the sake of it.

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yes I think it's too little too.
have deferred dd1 to January, she is four today and will do five mornings then all day after Easter.
it's fine to defer

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No, no morning places - they start all the littlies off in the afternoons, then move them to mornings. I'm sure there's A Reason for this, but I can't understand why atm as mornings for littlies makes more sense to me.

I think 5 afternoons is too much for that age
dd spent 2 years at her preschool - first year she did 3 morings (no funding, so I paid the whack), second year she did 4 morings for which she was funded (had to pay some top up fees)

I loved having that day just with her, esp during her second year, gave us a lot of flexibility.
Wanted to do same for dd2, but they are saying do 5 or do nothing j when it's her time to go in Jan 08

hi hunker. my initial reaction is "yes, too little", i'm afraid. but my DH, who used to be an AST in infants and now lectures in education, says that this is not necessarily the case. he says that IF the class has an environment wherein the children can engage in self-directed play~ spontaneously and freely (with appropriate supervision and restraint for safety etc.), then it can meet their needs in terms of intellectual development and also enrich their social development in a way that most home environments can not through peer interaction. there is a wealth of research which points to the benefits of part-time pre-school provision if the quality is high and the experiences provided are appropriate to the age group,(eg NOT work-sheets, sitting on carpets, having "lessons").

i still hesitate. i think that kids are in school for so long as it is. where i come from, the starting age for school is 5. it's even later in some countries.

if you think your LO will benefit from having more time at home (sleeping is goooood ), why not phone the school and ask for to be deferred till Jannuary?

My ds who will be 3.5 wil be doing 5 sessions a week from September. Dd did it too and was fine. However if we were going to put them in the state system they would be expected to go 5 FULL days after an initial settling in period, with no option for part time. .

GS has been going for five mornings a week since January and begs to go for more. However, he was doing four full days a week at the college nursery before that.

Although I've already enroled my DS (who'll be 2.7 when he starts at a new preschool when we move house, I've just found out there's a state nursery at DD's school so think I'm going to try and get him in there. I might do 3/4 sessions a week as they're not strict on how many they do but I think many state nurseries do insist on 5.
I think that for my DS, he will need the extra structure before starting school and he is a very sociable little thing so I'm not worrying too much. I wouldn't worry about your DC doing 5 if they seem to cope.