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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Any teachers about?

33 replies

TobysAunt · 21/05/2018 23:06

I am pulling my hair out about DS aged 10 in Yr 5. He is behind but I don't think way behind. But things I have noticed are: really struggles to comprehend written or verbal information, even really simple stuff seems to throw him and he has a memory of a goldfish. I am teaching him time at the moment and it's like he's never seen a clock, everything is a massive up hill struggle when it comes to teaching. An example, the school sent home some sheets x and / decimals by 10, 100 and 1000. He just could not get how to do it even when we went over and over it. Or he'd get it, then we'd change to divide from x and he would do it wrong again. He constantly forgets his time tables.

ConfusedHe is forever saying he doesn't understand things.

His reading is OK if he uses a reading ruler otherwise he skips lines.

The school have said they have concerns and just keep telling us to do extra work they send home but I can't help feeling there is a reason.

Have any of you had a child like this in your class. Was it a learning problem, a phase or immaturity? Does any of this flag up anything to you?

I find it so frustrating. So does he. Sad

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Original poster
TobysAunt · 21/05/2018 23:10

Sorry, I'm not being clear. I have been told he's behind and im intervention. But as the school are not investigating it I assumed he's not very behind.

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FlibbertyGiblets · 21/05/2018 23:13

Not a teacher. Recent eye test?

Original poster
TobysAunt · 21/05/2018 23:17

Yes, done and all ok. And a private OT assessment where he has poor coordination and balance. Just deciding whether to pay £100 per session for treatment Shock

He just seems so defeatest (sp?)

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RavenWings · 21/05/2018 23:18

Yes, I have. I would get him assessed if you can. Could be something like a processing/ memory issue, who knows - best to check it out.

I'd also agree with getting an eye test in case he hasn't had one recently, though it doesn't explain the memory issue.

Original poster
TobysAunt · 21/05/2018 23:18

He also can't use a knife and fork. Or tie his laces. But can ride a bike and generally very active but not sporty as such.

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Original poster
TobysAunt · 21/05/2018 23:20

What can anyone do about processing issues though? And is that just a polite work for dim Confused

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Loandbeholdagain · 21/05/2018 23:20

Any chance he could have auditory processing disorder? Most teaching relies heavily on verbal explanation..

Haggisfish · 21/05/2018 23:20

Could he be dyspraxic and possibly dyslexic?

noblegiraffe · 21/05/2018 23:20

The school shouldn’t say they have concerns then do nothing, ask for a meeting with the SENCo, get them to observe him and see whether he needs referring for further testing.

Changenameday · 21/05/2018 23:22

If he just being sent extra work with no guidance it probably won’t be helping.
Imagine not being able to do something and instead of someone helping you they just expect to you to do the same thing again and again and extra to everyone else. Not an attack but if you’re not a teacher then going over extra work at home probably won’t benefit either of you.

May be worth looking at a tutor to help, make sure they are a qualified teacher and they should be able to do some more to boost maths and English and even things like telling the time, if the school have genuine concerns they may be able to recommend or even help fund.

RavenWings · 21/05/2018 23:26

Well maybe he isn't academically great OP, I don't know him, but that's not the same as having processing issues. Processing relates to how you take in, digest and begin to respond to info. In this case I would be thinking about auditory processing issues, but there are other kinds of processing too. Could also be some issue around his memory.

I'd also be curious about dyspraxia/dyslexia based on your latest info. Again, assessment.

Naty1 · 22/05/2018 09:36

Maybe try some omega 3?

Chocolateandjam · 22/05/2018 09:41

He sounds a lot like my year 4 boy. My DS struggles to process verbal and written information. He has read aloud to me every day since he started in reception, so he can read beautifully. He just has no idea about what he has just read. He can not infer anything from the text at all.

He has a dx of ASD and has been having interventions at school since he started.

We read every day and he uses a website called reading theory to help him to practice.

Chocolateandjam · 22/05/2018 09:43

Sorry, I forgot to mention that he has also had a tutor for a couple of hours a week since year 2.

RexManning · 22/05/2018 11:06

Can he follow the plot of a film, or of a chapter book?

Processing was my first thought, too.

TeenTimesTwo · 22/05/2018 11:47

My guess would be dyspraxia & processing issues. Like my 2 DDs in various combinations.

There are things that can be done to work around processing issues, depending on whether they are auditory or written.

Adjustments for my DDs have included for one or both:

  • provision of handouts for them to annotate rather than having to take complete notes
  • writing stuff on board as well as saying it
  • saying stuff as well as writing it
  • use of laptop for longer writing tasks
  • Velcro not laces, bracelet watches not straps
  • extra time in exams, stand and stretch in exams
  • dictate to me and I write down
  • lots of help with tech activities
  • stabile easy write pen
  • pair of compasses that 'locks' into position

Re speed of learning. We just found everything takes longer, and some stuff just doesn't stick well. You have to keep coming back to it. Most stuff gets in eventually.

However DD1 now 18 got there eventually and passed 8 GCSEs. However I did most revision 1-1 with her and had to create her revision notes.
DD2 is 13. She is still shaky on times tables, time telling and left and right. But she has learned the reactivity series because she can remember the mnemonic needed.

You have to decide what is key, you can't work on everything. Some things are flogging a dead horse and pointless to waste time on right now. You just have to guess which ones they are!

blueflorals · 22/05/2018 11:49

I would knock doing work at home with him on its head. He’s got negative associations with work now.

Original poster
TobysAunt · 22/05/2018 13:02

Thank you all. He also doesn't know his left from right and seems to actively avoid growing up. Sounds odd but he really doesn't want to be older. Any mention of 'time to grow up now' is met with a refusal. I am going to look at processing disorders. I feel Sad as I got so frustrated with him yesterday and was really mean. Just said I couldn't understand why I had to keep going over and over the same information. I know it's crap of me.

I am really concerned about secondary. I fear he will end up in the bottom sets and get dragged into bad behaviour. He is such a sweet boy but easily influenced. His led a very sheltered life at his middle class high achieving primary. The secondary school is a typical London secondary and very different to his primary. Sad

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Original poster
TobysAunt · 22/05/2018 13:03

I meant he has led.

Also, many thanks. Its good to know I am not alone.

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Original poster
TobysAunt · 22/05/2018 13:04

What's really bit helped is talking to other parents about secondary. So many are considering super selective grammars and private schools which really brings the differences home to me.

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Roomba · 22/05/2018 13:14

Now is the ideal time to seek help for him, then. My son had incredibly similar issues in Y5 except that he wasn't falling behind (he wasn't achieving what he should be doing though - but slipped through the net for a long time due to still doing 'okay' at school).

My son was eventually diagnosed with Dyspraxia and ADHD (though the ADHD isn't severe compared to some so it wasn't picked up on soon enough). We got told he was doing fine and his problems were due to him being a boy Confused and that he'd grow out of it, etc. Then his Y5 teacher basically said he disagreed, that DS should be doing better and that he recommended referral for assessment.

Best thing we ever did for DS - he hated the suggestion that he was in any way different to anyone else and would get frustrated with himself for being so clumsy, unable to rode a bike or write for long periods. The additional support he got really turned things around though - he is doing well at school, has learned techniques to help remember things and focus and is now much more comfortable in his own skin and more confident.

If you suspect something isn't quite right and that your son needs help, please push the school to refer him. It becomes much harder once he starts in secondary school, in my experience.

mamaslatts · 22/05/2018 13:15

How is his handwriting? The knife and fork and shoe laces skills are all fine motor skills. How is the senco at his school? My DS went from a senco with zero training and no interest to one who was all over him like a rash (he's dyslexic). I had to get a private assessment for him as the school was no good (1st school that is). It was very comprehensive but cost around £600 so depends if that would be a possibility for you.

BrazenHusky74 · 22/05/2018 13:17

Get an Educational Psych Report, this will tell you what is wrong. Doesn't sound like dyslexia, some signs of dyspraxia but all of this is guess work. Until you have a proper diagnosis you can't move forward.
Good luck.

Thewhale2903 · 22/05/2018 13:20

Your story is very similar to mine. We had my son tested for visual stress, there was nothing that major but they gave him coloured sheets to try for reading.

TeenTimesTwo · 22/05/2018 13:21

DD2's confidence increased on going to secondary (our local good comp). This is because in the set subjects the pace is slower so she can take it in, and she doesn't have the brighter children jumping in with answers before she has thought about them. The comp are very good pastorally too.

You have to learn to help them make the most of what they have. Things might just click later. I found it really hard as I am high achieving academic type and I still find it frustrating with DD1 sometimes. Start talking up finding the 'right' school. Neither of my DDs will do A levels I don't think, let alone go to university. But there are other paths to success in life.

Stop talking to other parents re secondary schools!