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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Anxious child

5 replies

brokenteacup · 18/05/2018 13:54

I am after some advice as I am really struggling to help my year 1 child. He is really anxious but only in lessons (he goes to school absolutely fine). He comes home at least 3 times a week saying he spent the whole day worrying. His class teacher has noticed that there are days he does nothing and just seems to be watching the rest of the class as if he's waiting for something to happen. He is now waking in the night worrying about lessons and then waking up really early in the morning. The school aren't making any suggestions and have asked me to give them advice, but as I am not in the classroom it is very hard to know what is actually happening.

For background the class is very boy heavy and there are some challenging children, but nothing too extreme (no table throwers or biters) and a fair number of low ability children who struggle to access the curriculum. He says he can't concentrate and learn because he's so worried but he can't tell me exactly what he's worried about although it is definitely the other children and not the work itself. As a result he doesn't seem to be making great progress at school as he's so focused on the other kids and not what he should be doing, although the school say he's doing fine when I speak to them but then his reports would suggest he's not. He now thinks that his teacher thinks he's stupid which isn't helping matters. Does anyone have experience of this and can give any advice about what they did with their child and the school?

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user789653241 · 18/05/2018 14:07

My ds had very uneasy time for while in yr1, and it took quite a while to figure out what was wrong. I had calls from school saying he felt ill, but coming home he was totally fine. One day at the park after school, he met a boy and everything came out. The boy was teasing him, and no one noticed, including teachers, and my ds was suffering from really low level bullying.
I think it's a really difficult situation, but only way to figure out is for him to tell you what's wrong.
We were lucky, it came out within few months. It maybe totally different for your ds, but hope you can figure out, and find solution for it very soon.

brokenteacup · 18/05/2018 15:07

Thanks irvineoneohone hopefully it will be easily sorted. Sorry that your ds had a hard time of it, but pleased it is all sorted now. I know there has been bullying in the past but thought it had all been dealt with now, perhaps we need to think about that again.

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user789653241 · 18/05/2018 15:22

What I found out was that young children are not able to tell the parents or the teacher what they really suffering easily, however articulate they are. It's really difficult. One silly little thing done by their friends(without real malice, normally), can crush their heart, and may not be able to express that but keep it in their little heart.

RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot · 18/05/2018 18:45

DD1 can be very very highly strung and an overthinker. Her current school thankfully understand that while she's superficially very confident and articulate, she's actually an anxious thing underneath that and will take on board if I flag up something is niggling at her and try their best to reduce it at their end (old school just didn't believe it at all - leading to some awful meltdowns when it all came out at home)... at the moment it's transition to the next year group and they're planning how to handle it with extra time and preparation for her.

brokenteacup · 18/05/2018 20:14

Thanks Rainbow I will suggest that they start thinking about the transition now.

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