Child Missing Education - LEA unconcerned

[DayAtTheRaces]

My sister who I love very much, is very strong willed and has a very chaotic, bohemian lifestyle. She has an almost 8 year old son whom I adore and he has never been registered for school.

She is ‘unschooling’ (also known as ‘autonomous home schooling’) where the child decides if or what he/she might want to learn about something of interest - or not. No structure or lessons plans. My sis is an anti-vaxxer and doesn’t believe that children should have exams/SATs and don’t need to go to school until they are seven. (I was under the impression that she would then send my nephew to school now he’s seven but she has no intention of sending him at all now).

There is no set bedtime routine so he usually goes to bed around the same time as his mum, from 10pm onwards and sadly my nephew is one of those children who run riot in cafes/restaurants (it’s embarrassing!) and doesn’t seem to have been taught any kind of discipline, basically he is becoming quite cheeky and wild.

My sister has some very strange/woo ideas - she is a ‘flat earther’ eg doesn’t believe in the moon landings, only government agents are allowed to go to the north and south poles, believes in conspiracy theories and David Icke’s writings. Is against ‘The System” or authority figures.

My nephew’s dad emigrated when he was little and has no contact with his son and my DS is always broke, so over the years I’ve gladly helped her out financially so she could pay her rent, utility bills etc. I’ve also paid for season tickets for local attractions so she can take my nephew on days out and I and my mum send him books and educational toys for Xmas and birthdays.

I had a getaway with my DS and nephew at Easter (we live hundreds of miles apart) - there are no family members where she lives - and I was shocked when I saw that he is barely literate, although my DS thinks he is doing amazingly well. He can read simple books but never for pleasure, only when his mum tells him to read with her. He hates doing any learning, he says he just wants to play. He went to Beavers for a few sessions but stopped because he told me “I don’t fit in”. I did go to one of the home school meet ups with them but what happens there is that the parents (also hippies/bohemians) chat and smoke whilst the kids are running around the hall or doing some art.

My sister’s place is very small and cluttered and there is no desk/table or space for learning at all. Basically he is getting between 10 to 20 minutes a day one on one learning with his mum, which I’m sure isn’t enough? My nephew did want to go to school but my sister has told him that if he goes he will be bullied ( he is small for his age) and now he no longer wants to go.

A few weeks ago my sis ended a long term relationship and moved in a guy and his two kids as he was being evicted from his home. He is also an ‘unschooler’ and his kids have learning difficulties (aged 9 and 5). My sis is now working almost full time hours including some overnight shifts as she is the breadwinner (used to be 16 hours until he moved in) and he is a stay at home parent. I asked my nephew on Facetime if his new step-dad is doing any teaching and learning with him when mummy is at work and he said ‘no, he just watches films on his laptop all day’ and my son just plays with the other kids and goes to the park. My sis is so loved up with this guy that she seems unconcerned. I fear that my nephew is going to end up as a NEET the way things are going.

I know people who have homeschooled in the past, but the children were following a curriculum and on a schedule, I think this is fine but what my sister is (not) doing seems to be bordering neglect as far as I can see.

Anyway, after a lot of thought and discussing with my mum (who is also deeply worried) I contacted the home schooling officer at the LEA district where they live and asked if they check on the education needs and attainment on children missing education and this is the reply:

“Thank you for your e-mail. I have discussed the situation with my line manager who feels that the best way forward would be for you to raise your concerns with Children’s Services who would investigate if they felt that there were safeguarding issues. Your sister is under no obligation to register xxxxxxx as home educated and appears to be providing access to some learning and social activities.

The current legislation allows parents to adopt an alternative lifestyle if they so choose and the definition of what constitutes a suitable education is very vague.

If you would like to contact Children’s Services please phone xxxxxxxxxx “

I’m astonished.....isn’t Children’s Services for children suffering from serious neglect or abuse? My concern is purely for the extreme lack of education my nephew is getting - yet the LEA officer doesn’t seem the least bit interested.

I find it strange that parents can be fined for taking kids out of school for a few days to go on holiday, yet someone whom has never admitted their child into a State or private school seems to be under no obligations whatsoever.

OK - I’ve let off steam here as I am so appalled at the comments of the Elective Home Education Officer. Is there any point in contacting Children’s Services? What do they/would they do, if anything? I’m not sure if lack of education is in their remit?

If I wanted to escalate it further, does anyone know the correct steps to take or whom to contact? OFSTED? Department of Education?

I’m concerned he’s being left all day with a virtual stranger by a mother who is so loved up she’s not thinking straight, and a wider family who cheerfully refer to this man as your nephew’s “new step-dad”, you are concerned he’s got no future prospects and his mother is deliberately putting him off mixing with other children.

Yes, I’d say Children’s Services is a good place to talk it through to be honest.

You would be contacting the MASH (multi agency safeguarding hub) who is like a one-stop shop for various agencies where support can be given.

No harm in speaking to them! They’re not at all scary, I have to use our one as the DSL at school.

I can see why you're so concerned!
I'm surprised at the LEAs position-I'd assume that he'd be monitored as part of the Local Authority figures of children not attending school and should be receiving (at a minimum) checks that he's being provided with an education. I know my LA look at these figures in great depth and the safeguarding board is pretty good at scrutinising this and getting follow ups on any concerns.
Definitely consider Children's Services, via a MASH as mentioned above, as they can give you advice and doesn't necessarily end in a safeguarding referral. (Tbh I hope it does-there sounds a lot to be concerned about)

Home education is not really regulated in this country.

You've been given good advice by the LA education officer. The LA has no authority to challenge the education offered by your DSiS unless they have reasonable suspicion that she is not providing her DS with an education, and provision of an education is a very broad concept, so unschooling is acceptable as a philosophy in itself (even if you don't agree with it). Additionally, 10-20 minutes 1:1 time at home is considered to be worth about an hour of school lesson time, by the time you factor in getting all the kids ready, focused, introducing the lesson, moving them on to the work, answering questions, helping those that struggle, wrapping up the lesson, etc., so they wouldn't expect 6 hours per day of 'work' for a HE kid any way.

Add to that all the learning in life you do, by shopping, cooking, etc., and you can see why HE'ers can justify a shorter timetable.

If you have concerns that he's being generally neglected, then it is Child Services who would deal with that, not education services. Child services may then see that his educational needs aren't being fulfilled as part of a wider neglect picture, and recommend that he attends school for socialisation, etc., but unless the education isn't up to scratch, can't make them comply.

If it is decided that the education being provided isn't good enough, them they can request changes are made, or make an Education Supervision Order, which states that the child must attend X school.

Thank you all for your replies. After thinking it over and over, I bit the bullet and called MASH. It was very difficult for me to pluck up the courage to make the phone call, but it’s horrible seeing my nephew falling through the cracks. I don’t know if anything will come of it but at least the authorities are now aware of the situation.

I am shocked that home schooling is not regulated in the UK as not all parents are diligent in ensuring that their kids are literate and numerate. As many jobs around the world are being eradicated due to technological advances, I think it’s so important to have a basic grounding (and qualifications) in the three R’s.

As for 10-20 minutes of home schooling being considered by home schoolers as the equivalent of an hour in the school classroom, that is debatable - however my sister only does a maximum of 10-20 minutes per day with my nephew, and certainly not at the weekends or when the local schools have their holidays. It’s just not enough.

Home schooling can be amazing but yes also totally unregulated. Its utter nonsense that schooling families get fined for a day off but if you HomeEd no one checks that a child is receiving any Education at all

I though unschooling was only a term used when HE children leave structured education and transition to semi structured HE. Not a lifestyle choice

^^ that’s deschooling

Why do you think Home Ed should be regulated? do you also think that Home Childcare should be regulated, after all children actually spend a lot more time at home than anywhere else, so maybe the Govt should come round and make sure you're making all the right choices, there is a problem with childhood obesity, so should people be checking what you're feeding your child, how much exercise they get whilst in your care, how much screen time, how much quality family time, how many clubs they attend, how much socialisation you ensure they get or do you think this would be a massive invasion of your rights to raise your family the way you consider to be best, and only people who don't fit into your picture of how things should be should have to justify their life choices.

Good for you OP, you did a brave thing

The law states that parents have to provide a suitable education. There is no definition of what 'suitable' means though.

The wording is an ambiguous tbh. I don’t think unschooling is always a dire thing but there are good ways and bad ways to do it. If they aren’t providing much stimulus as the child Persues their interests though it can’t be that great.

If you live several hundred miles away then I suspect you don't have a full picture of what goes on day to day. I probably would be concerened that she had moved in another adult and children very quickly, however I wouldn't reort to social services unless I had evidence of neglect or abuse. It doesn't sound as if you are very supportive of your sister or nephew. Many countries do no formal education until after age 7, just because this country forces young children to sit at desks for several hours at day from 4/5 doesn't make our children better than other countries in the long run.
Can I ask why you believe learning only happens at a desk? And only "school type" teacher led instruction counts? I'd suggest doing some wide research into home education and how children learn naturally as it seems to me that you're comparing a non schooled chikd with a child allowed to develop naturally. I suspect that your nephew may be very skilled or proficient in other things than your DS, and over the next few years will rocket in areas of literacy. He's 7 not 15, he perhaps doesn't appreciate being tested by you?

I would also be concerned if it was my family, OP, however it appears there's very little you can actually do. I too find it incredible that homeschooling is completely unregulated.

Oh apologies I missed that you'd called MASH. Hope everything turns out ok.

Home schooling can mask abuse. It is also questionable whether a child who is not receiving a basic education isn’t being abused either. I think you did the right thing op. Children are not possessions. Recent legal cases have made this clear. They have individual rights. The problem is that people don’t want to investigate without real suspicion of mistreatment. Some children just don’t get the best of anything because the parent(s) come first.