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Primary education

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DS separated at playtime

6 replies

southerngirl10 · 08/04/2018 22:09

I wondered if someone else has been through a similar experience...

My DS joined a new Primary school in September. Since then he has made many friends and likes it there. However, from the start another boy, who is a known bully, has on numerous occasions lashed out at my son because he doesn't like it when someone else beats him at football.

This has happened in school and after school in the park. The boys are playing fine, if the other boy is winning, as soon as he starts to lose he punches and kicks my son.

The school decided to separate the two boys by putting one in the basketball court and the other in the football yard. They swap over each day.

The other boy has been at the school longer and gets people to play in his yard by either bullying other children or cajoling them into playing with him.

I have told the school that I don't understand why my son has to take 50% of the punishment of being in a separate playground if the other boy lashes out.

Then, last week, DS's teacher told us that she had found a sheet of paper with a list of names, on the bully's desk. He and a friend had collected names from the class and told the other children to spy on my son - on his whereabouts and actions - then report back to him.

I don't know what to do next. My DS's teacher has told the head of year and the assistant head of the school. The other boy is constantly hauled in front the Headmaster but little seems to change.

There are three classes DS's year group. The boys from my sons football team all seem to be in the other classes - the school doesn't allow children from different classes to mix with one another in the yard at breaktime. They split the classes up at the end of each year. We have been told that my son won't be in the same as the other boy next year, which is a relief! We still have the whole of the spring/summer term left though.

Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 08/04/2018 22:12

Sounds like a strangely set up school; they don't allow classes to mix at playtime? Huh?

Anyway, I'm not quite sure what you're asking. Sounds like school are following their policy (have you read their anti bullying policy?) if you don't think anything is improving, maybe make a nuisance of yourself until it does?

Kirta · 08/04/2018 22:17

How horrible! Odd way for school to be dealing with it though? Seems a bit like trying to hide it rather than deal with the underlying issue. The behaviour of the other child is almost bordering on a Safeguarding issue in terms of the isolation of your son and the pack mentality that he is trying to perpetuate. This is bullying. Have you had a good read through the anti bullying policy? If you feel it's not being resolved at the Head of Year/Assistant Head level, it may be an idea to have a meeting with the Safeguarding lead and the Head. Hope your son is ok and this is sorted soon!

Kirta · 08/04/2018 22:17

How horrible! Odd way for school to be dealing with it though? Seems a bit like trying to hide it rather than deal with the underlying issue. The behaviour of the other child is almost bordering on a Safeguarding issue in terms of the isolation of your son and the pack mentality that he is trying to perpetuate. This is bullying. Have you had a good read through the anti bullying policy? If you feel it's not being resolved at the Head of Year/Assistant Head level, it may be an idea to have a meeting with the Safeguarding lead and the Head. Hope your son is ok and this is sorted soon!

Pengggwn · 09/04/2018 09:15

Unless my son had had any hand in reciprocal activities, e.g. trying to get other people on his side in return, I would not be having this AT ALL. I would insist my son be allowed to play where he liked, and the bully be removed. That is appalling.

QuiteLikely5 · 09/04/2018 09:23

I will yldcdemand that he is moved to a different class

southerngirl10 · 09/04/2018 11:37

Thank you for your replies.

We have asked that he be moved to another class - where his friends from the local football team are - but have been told that he can't.

In school at break/lunch times those children that play sport are allowed to play on marked pitches with a couple of metres gap either side. They can only play with their own classmates, which I don't really understand.

I must point out that my DS is one of the bigger boys in class, along with the other boy causing the trouble. I'm not saying my DS is an angel but he is not a bully. The other boy hits other children now and then and the other children have got used to either turning the other cheek or walking away. My DS doesn't and he sticks up for the other children, as well! I don't want to tell not to do this, I feel that you should stand up for yourself. By punishing both children - one bully and one who has stood up to the bully - I feel this is wrong and have expressed this to his teacher.

They have a system of yellow and red cards at school. The other boy has apparently had at least five red cards and has had to work in the head teacher's office for whole days an quite a few occasions.

Apart from this situation my son loves the school. I just worry what affect this situation is having on him, though

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