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Does anyone's school have a playground buddy system?

37 replies

3littlefrogs · 11/05/2007 09:40

  • or a place where children who have nobody to play with can sit, so that a "buddy" will come and join them? If so, does it work and how?
(dd has come home in tears - again -because she has been deliberately excluded by the girls who decide who is "allowed to play")
OP posts:
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ayla99 · 11/05/2007 10:44

Ours have a "buddy bench" - a picnic table/bench brightly painted in lots of different colours (although much of the paint has peeled off). It seems to work - the children are happy to sit on the bench if they're feeling lost/lonely and there seem to be plenty enough kindly children who seek out & include anyone they spot sitting on the bench.

luciemule · 11/05/2007 10:46

Yes- we have a bench too and usually the dinner ladies go over if there's a child on there and no-one has joined them. I think it's a sweet idea. Their classes also have a special friend practise where if someone is feeling a bit sad, they're partnered up with someone who looks after them for that day!My DD is often coming home telling me she was 'so and so's' special friend that day.

MrsCarrot · 11/05/2007 10:48

We have one, and all the kids seem to respond well to it, it's a nice idea.

handlemecarefully · 11/05/2007 10:50

No we haven't but it sounds like a fantastic idea

Ceolas · 11/05/2007 10:51

Ours have a buddy bus stop. My DDs say that other children, not just buddies will go and ask children there to play.

Hassled · 11/05/2007 10:55

I thought they were standard in most schools tbh - they do work really well and there never seems to be any sort of stigma attached to sitting on the buddy bench. I really feel for the OP - girls can be so horrible to each other and it's heartbreaking if your DD is excluded from the inevitable cliques. I should ask to see the school's anti-bullying policy (because that sort of persistent exclusion IS bullying, IMO) to see how they are meant to be dealing with this sort of problem, and suggest a bench to the Head or a Parent Governor.

handlemecarefully · 11/05/2007 11:36

I'm really enthused about this idea - seems to me that the children not on the buddy bench who go over and ask the 'left out' children to play, also gain something valuable too; in terms of acquiring social / life skills and recognising that not everybody is confident / extrovert

MaureenMLove · 11/05/2007 11:43

We have friendship stops in the playground and Year 6's act as buddies in the infant playground. DD is always surrounded by the little people when she comes out of school these days, they worship the year 6's!

JonesTheSteam · 11/05/2007 11:53

Ours has a friends circle - if the children aren't playing with anyone they stand in the circle and like alya99 there always seems to be someone who comes along and gets them to play.

WigWamBam · 11/05/2007 12:08

Dd's infant school is excellent at making sure all children are included at playtimes.

They have a friendship stop, and every week two Year 1 or 2 children are chosen (they have to apply in writing) to be Playground Friends and make sure that no-one is left alone. They wear bright yellow caps and big badges so everyone knows who they are, and children can either approach them directly or wait at the friendship stop for them to come over. Other children tend to go over as well, if they see someone waiting.

The school has a fabulous Children's Mentor who is a counsellor, and who has been trained in mediation with children - if she becomes aware that a child is being left out at playtimes, or if there's any bullying or teasing going on, she has a number of techniques that she can put into play. Sometimes it's as simple as finding someone for the child to play with, or giving them some kind of responsibility to boost their confidence (calling in different classes for lunch, for instance), sometimes she sets up friendship circles or team games for the children involved. She also runs groups for children who have problems in the playground, usually because they aren't very confident, which help to teach the child the kind of social skills which are useful in playground situations.

During lunchtime play, each class has its own play leader who organises activities for their class of children. They organise team games and encourage children who don't have anyone to play with to join in, and they are expected to keep an eye out to make sure none of their children are being picked on. This doesn't always work work because the class doesn't always want to play together and in a playground of 270 children, one member of staff can't always keep an eye on 30 individuals, but the children know that can always find a play leader or the Mentor if they need to.

3littlefrogs · 11/05/2007 12:54

Thank you all so much - I think I will print this off and take it with me when I go to see the head. I am so fed up with this. i know that dd's school did try this a couple of years ago, using a kind of bus stop thing, but no designated buddies or mentor or anything tike that. however, the boys broke the sign, and the whole thing just fizzled out. I was one of the parents who tried very hard to get something in place, and also to get boxes of toys for out door play. Unfortunately the children have broken a lot of the toys, and there do not seem to be any consequences, so it hasn't really been a success. I am seriously considering taking dd out of the school, but then I feel sorry for the other children too.

OP posts:
portonovo · 11/05/2007 15:50

Yes, we have a 'buddy stop' which looks like a bright and cheerful bus stop. Anyone feeling a bit lonely or out of things sits there and invariably someone will go and play with them.

Some of the Yr 6 children are on a special 'squad' which takes it in turns to play with the infants at lunchtimes, and one of their 'tasks' is to make sure no one is left alone at the buddy stop.

roisin · 11/05/2007 19:16

My boys go to a large primary school (60 children per year 3-11). They have two playgrounds KS1 and KS2.

When in yr5 the children can volunteer and are then screened and some are selected to join the APE club - Active Play Enablers. They all undergo training and instruction from an outside agency (NSPCC I think).

On a rota basis they then go into the KS1 playground, to help at playtimes. They get out and set up equipment - beanbags, hoops, balls, bats, a tunnel, goodness knows what else! and they supervise the use of this equipment according to the rules, then put the equipment away at the end. They also generally keep an eye on the playground and report any problems to the adult supervisors; and they befriend and encourage 'alone' children to play.

My boys both benefited from this scheme in KS1, and ds1 has recently been selected to join the APE club, and is also enjoying that immensely, and learning useful skills too.

SpringBunny · 11/05/2007 20:55

our school has 'smiley face' monitors who are year 2 and wear a special bright yellow badge and overall. They keep an eye out and the younger ones can go to them with a problem. It works really well and the younger ones love the year 2's !

wangle99 · 12/05/2007 16:34

Wow all these sound so fantastic, I've never heard of it before!

tortoise · 12/05/2007 16:40

Ours has a buddy bus stop too. I think its a lovely idea.

Blu · 12/05/2007 16:44

Yes. Only partially succesful - I gather the bench is known as the 'Billy Bench' - as in Billy No Mates.
BUT there is also a scheme where older children look after and out for younger children. DS (yr 1) was responsible for a Reception child - showing him where things are and playing with him, and making sure he didn't feel sad etc. DS was immensely proud of 'his' little boy and would point him out as if he was his very own prodigy. They still chat, even though the little boy is now well established with his own reception friends.

CowsGoMoo · 12/05/2007 18:27

The school my son attends have rainbow benches which are brightly painted benches dotted around the playgrounds. The KS1 and KS2 children have separate playgrounds and Year 6 pupils can choose to become breaktime buddies and play with children in either playground. If anyone goes onto the rainbow bench, the bb's will go over and get them to join in the games. Their playgrounds also have chess, snakes and ladders picnic tables and the pieces are brought out at playtime so the children can have less energetic playtime too. There is also a member of staff who is employed solely to encourage the children to play games (a play leader). She devises up new games and gets everyone involved. They also have 2 break supervisors in the playgrounds who will help out too. Very impressed with how his school try to involve everyone in play so that no one is left out.

grumpyfrumpy · 15/05/2007 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Loshad · 15/05/2007 22:11

in my boys school it works well in ks1 - a friendship stop, combined with playground buddies (on a rota system)who wear bright yellow jackets and patrol the playground. At ks2 it's a bit like blu describes - the kids call it billys bench and I don't think it it's that well received amongst the children

willywonka · 15/05/2007 22:23

I was really pleased to find that all three local primaries we looked at for dd offered some form of playground buddy scheme.

At one, it was the buddy bus stop idea, the second had playground buddies wearing special caps so they could be easily identifiable by other children and at dd's school, the playground buddies are responsible for organising a variety of different games for anyone who wants to join in.

As well as being great for those younger children who feel isolated, it's been pointed out to me that it's also good for the older ones who may also otherwise be on their own, giving them an important focus/responsibility. Just wish they'd run this kind of thing "in my day"

prufrock · 15/05/2007 22:28

Our school has a buddy bench too, and the year 5 and 6 kids are each given some reception kids each year to look after. They also have separate playtimes for the foundation stage children in the morning and afternoon, perhaps if your school did this toys could be available then which te older children would hopefully not break

3catstoo · 16/05/2007 09:30

Every child has a buddy in a different year group.
There is a 'buddy bench' with a 'friendship stop' sign next to it.
A plaque with playground rules (an anti bullying tactic).
A rota detailing which class is doing which games on certain days. Football, basketball, big skipping. We have a huge box of play equipment, diabalos, spinning plates etc. The older children go on playground duty and teach the younger ones how to use the equipment. The adventure trail is also on the rota.
It works very well. Stops the bigger boys taking over the playground with the football.

But as a friend pointed out the other day, it is so structured that you can't really call it free play.

MorocconOil · 16/05/2007 10:24

Sounds really positive. I suspect horrible things happen at my Dc'school in the playground. I'm going to mention these ideas to our head.

bakedpotato · 16/05/2007 10:36

DD's school has a buddy system. Not a bench AFAIK, but the buddies (in special caps) rove around looking for children on their own/who have fallen over/who look upset
Really fosters fellow-feeling between the years -- one of those schemes that benefits everyone
I know reception children at other schools without this system who are really intimidated by the playground
DD thinks the buddies are mini-gods