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Primary education

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Managing my sons expectations as he feels more and more let down at school

26 replies

Emerencealwayshopeful · 27/03/2018 12:55

Long, rambling, not to the point. But any ideas and responses much welcomed.

I’m in Australia, which is important because the independent school sector here is much bigger than in the uk.

My kids are at a small local community independent school. class sizes between 12 and 19, with 2 classes in each year level. This year I have a child in prep, gr2, gr4, gr6. My gr2 girl is autistic and dyslexic, and while it hasn’t all been smooth sailing she is getting lots of support where she is.

My biggest concern at the moment is my eldest. He was diagnosed with anxiety towards the end of last year, after my health declined dramatically and I became a full time wheelchair user with not enough stamina to manage much of anything. A few public (at school) anxiety attacks that seemed to be handled reasonably well and while there were some dramas he ended last year with a music scholarship and what seemed to be the beginnings of real friendships. He then spent 12 days in the bush with a youth group which is loosely associated with the school, and really seemed to mature over the summer.

A few weeks ago he was late in to school and when he arrived at recess a couple of the ‘popular’ boys who have leadership roles which he is very very distressed about not getting himself (yes, he needs to move on from that) approached him to let him know that while he was away the girls and boys divided for a class and the girls collaborated on a dance to be performed at an assembly in the first week of term 2 (after Easter/autumn break). They told him that they knew he would want to dance and that they would also like to, and would back him up and would join him in requesting that the dance be co-ed.

When he tried to bring up the subject in class on the Tuesday it was shut down, and he ended up having a full blown panic attack, urged on by some classmates who seemed to think it was funny. When I arrived at 2 for a meeting about a different child I found him hysterical and upset at the reception area.

I requested an urgent meeting with the principal, and after some negotiation booked to see her Friday morning. In the meantime a full class meeting was held, my son said he wanted to dance, everyone else behaved as though this was unreasonable until he mentioned that the school has signed up to safe schools and didn’t everyone agree that gender segregation for a dance went against this. A few girls cried about being forced to change choreography to add another 1 or more dancers and in the end my child suggested a ‘seperate but equal’ so called boys dance. It was agreed this would be choreographed at least partly by him, prepared during lesson time and that he would also speak about the importance of breaking down imposed gender rules during the assembly.

While he was seemingly happy about this at school he cried for a full hour on the Wednesday night about it.

On the Friday I was promised that the staff would ensure that he was built up and supported and that despite my misgivings it was better to seperate the dances, and his would still be good.

He’s cried about it, talked around in circles about it, screamed at his family about it. What did not happen was that he was supported to create something. In the end a different teacher created a shorter piece and all the boys were told they had no choice but to participate. That was today.

In between all the drama over the dance, the fact that not only had my child not been made a captain but that all the positions went to children who had come up through the nursery and who had families heavily involved in the school, we visited many high schools and he sat some scholarship exams. Last week he was offered an extremely generous scholarship to a school he wants to go to. And there were auditions for the school musical.

The scholarship has boosted his confidence, but he’s still really wound up about the dance and whether it’ll happen, and look stupid, and how he looks. And he’s still smarting from being given extremely positive feedback to his speech and nterview at the end of last year only for every single captain role to go to children who, as I said, have families who have been there forever.

It’s now 2 days till term ends. He’s spent 2 hours tonight screaming and storming around about how upset he is that the teachers let him down about the dance, that he isn’t sure if the kids goading him were actually trying to cause a panic attack or not. That I’m wrong about bullying, or at least that he told the vice principal a different story about last Friday’s panic attack than he told us. He told us the same two boys talked about it loudly just behind him and then laughed when he became upset. He was asked, in front of both boys, to repeat the story and backed down.

And they’ve also just announced main roles in school musical. And again, he has nothing and the same few children have roles. He’s really upset about it, and his father is fuming, because last year the 5/6 classes were kept out of the musical to make a film, and we were all told that people who got tiny parts in that would have top roles in the stage show.

While I can support my difficult and emotional horror of a prepubescent at home, and fight the school behind his back to actually give all the children a chance to shine, I need ideas for surviving the 2 week break. I can’t make the staff give him the position of influence he craves. I can’t change anything, only point out hypocrisy to the principal and school gov. I need ideas to get through the break without losing it, because both his siblings and I have spent weeks hearing all about this effing dance and how he wishes he was a girl so he could get more opportunities (9 girls and 15 boys in the year). And how everyone can see that the school doesn’t value him bevsuse he only joined in grade 3.

I have a follow up meeting with principal and class teachers Thursday at 3. They break up at 3.45 and the school shuts down entirely for just over a week, so nothing discussed can be implemented until next term.

I’m not sure if I’ve been even slightly coherent. I know I’ve been long winded. But thoughts on what fights are worth having, and with whom, appreciated. As are any suggestions about encouraging him to stop brooding and focus on the good stuff that is happening in his life.

And if anyone has experience being at a school where the ‘inner sanctum kids’ seem to get a the majority of the opportunities and has ideas on wording to use when pointing it out to the principal that the kids are talking about it in the playground because it’s so blatant, that’d also be appreciated. Cause I’m not finding good words for solving any of this.

OP posts:
purili · 27/03/2018 13:06

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colditz · 27/03/2018 13:12

What an incredibly difficult situation. I would be looking outside of school, to a drama group or a dance troupe, and I would be reassuring him that school isn't forever, that yes the teachers probably do play favourites but screaming and tantrumming liike a toddler will NEVER get him what he wants so it needs to stop NOW.

Kokeshi123 · 27/03/2018 13:19

Sorry, I am a bit confused. He is going to change schools to the one where he got the scholarship?

BertrandRussell · 27/03/2018 13:24

How old is he and does he have any additional needs?

DairyisClosed · 27/03/2018 13:34

Speaking as someone who is very familiar with the system your son is in I think you have really gone about this the wrong way. Schools of that type don't really have the resources to deal with children like your son. What kind of treatment is he receiving outside of school? As for the 'inner sanctum' their parents/extended family usually make donations or get other families interested in the school. That is why they are treated preferentially. Ultimately there will always be a degree of favouritism no matter where your son is or how old he is. You are better off not wasting your energy on the school (besides making donations perhaps) and focus on your son's coping mechanisms/self esteem. When he moves to his next school (I am assuming from the context that it is prestigious) he will run into similar. Not necessarily from staff but certainly from students. Unless you have a lot of wealth he will only be accepted by the the kinds of kids who form school committees etc if he exudes confidence.

SavoyCabbage · 27/03/2018 13:53

I agree with Dairy. You are never ever going to get the school to give all of the children a chance to shine. All animals are equal but some are more equal than others.

Even if the dance was co-ed he wasn’t there when they started it all so asking to then be included later might not have been possible. Good on him for asking for what he wanted. But he was told no and really that should be the end of it. He shouldn’t be carrying on about it.

I would want to talk to them about the parts in the musical if they told the dc that they would get decent parts this year.

To me, it sounds like he is looking for opportunities to do different things and he’s not getting them which is one of the disadvantages of small schools. Also, it sounds like he might fly in high school if he’s landed a scholarship.

Emerencealwayshopeful · 27/03/2018 21:28

He’s 11. Has 3 terms left of primary school. Yes, is likely to have a great high school career but we need to survive this year.

I need to find a way to mange his expectations. He will be overlooked and given opportunities to shine this year. It is what it is. But we can’t have a year of non stop melodrama from him because of the small but not nice things in his life. His school reports are great, in private the teachers give him good feedback, but it never seems to become public recognition.

The dance is symptomatic of all that is not working. He was late once. The teachers separated kids by gender without (it seems) realising this was against the values they claim to espouse. He has been pushed into a really difficult situation that could have been resolved at least 17 times, but wasn’t.

We have negative self talk and constant melodrama here. I can’t fix what’s happening at school. I can advocate for him, but it won’t necessarily change anything.

I think I might need to find a way to add another outside school activity to provide the opportunity to shine. I just don’t know when/how. He currently has a music theory class, a drama group that is mostly games and helps with the language he’s learning at school, a 1 hour cello class, tennis and he’s just joined an orchestra - where he is the youngest, most being upper high school and university kids. He doesn’t want to drop anything and none of them will give him a shining role.

Next year he’s at the new school, and he’s starting high school somewhere that -so far- thinks he’s someone with potential to shine bright.

OP posts:
Emerencealwayshopeful · 27/03/2018 21:34

Not only do we have no wealth, I’m also now a wheelchair user who has little capacity to give huge chunks of time to the school.

It’s a million times better than the state school alternative. The other 3 are happy (as much as is likely anywhere) and my daughter is accessing 400 times the support she’d get almost anywhere else.

OP posts:
Emerencealwayshopeful · 27/03/2018 21:55

Only diagnosis is anxiety. He’s medicated for that. Paed and I think Aspergers/ASD likely but no benefit to finding out for sure at this point.

Yes, he has a psych. Yes, staff are (nominally) on board. But 2 weeks of him at home talking about how hurt he is that the school let him down, and that it’s not too late for changes (it is) will kill me.

(I feel like I’m drip feeding. Please forgive me. I’m avoiding the first thing in the mornin* fight by not engaging with him yet.)

OP posts:
CommanderDaisy · 27/03/2018 23:17

Where does the emphasis on the need to 'shine bright" come from?
Is this from you and your DH, or is it a terminology your son uses?

Kokeshi123 · 27/03/2018 23:47

Perhaps he would be helped if you and he had some cognitive behavioural therapy sessions. They might give you both some practical ideas about how to talk him down (and how he can talk himself down) when he is on the verge of going into a big negative spiral. Gratitude diaries, daily exercise, things like this can be very helpful for people who tend to be very anxious.

I think you need to help him develop some strategies for coping with his anxiety, because otherwise it will probably just follow him about wherever he goes and it will be "different situation, same shit."

If you put him in yet another extra curricular* still having no coping skills, he will probably just find other things to spiral about. When he goes to secondary school, he will be in the lowest year and will be a small fish in a big pond for many years to come.

(* and it doesn't sound like you have the money to do this---I know private schools are much cheaper in Oz, but four sets of school fees, plus all the extras he is doing....? Ouch)

Emerencealwayshopeful · 28/03/2018 08:00

Thank you.

We are negotiating with school about fees, will end up with a huge debt as they all move to high school. But we honestly don’t really have an option to go back to the state school. And my parents generously cover all music lessons for all the children. The drama is through the school and orchestra through the local council.

Commander, he’s the one who talks about wanting to have a large role somewhere. If there had been reasonable follow through on the seperate but equal dance he was going to be supported to choreograph that might have been enough. But there wasn’t, it was badly handled, and here we are. He’s bright, quirky, insightful, reads broadly, is intensely musical, and intense overall.

I don’t know if shine came from him, it describes what I’m hearing him crying about. I just want him generally happy, not avoiding school and feeling valued as part of the class and school community. Part of the attraction of small schools is that, ostensibly, every child gets to represent the school sometimes. There is taunting and general nastiness about from the kids who’ve come up from the bottom about how they are superior to and more important than those who arrived later on. He needs to have better coping strategies, but I’m not sure I have it in me to provide a sounding board anymore. If it weren’t that the same few children keep being given big roles, and that they then go and taunt him about it I’d keep shtum.

Tempted to send him to stay with my parents for part of the holidays. ‘Cept my sister who lives in London is staying and she and he are too alike for it to necessarily work.

Meeting tomorrow afternoon with principal. They’ve called my husband, and emailed him, asking him to come. I’m not cc’d into that convo. Its possibly (probably) because I came home from 4+ hours volunteering at school event and emailed again to say that I’m extremely dissatisfied with the way the school has handled the bullying and general nastiness and that I hope that this is not glossed over during our discussion tomorrow.

Firstborn is a champion catastrophiser. I feel like I’m falling into a spiral with him. Just hoping that after tomorrow we feel heard, or something. And I really wish his psych had chosen a different couple of weeks to be unavailable.

OP posts:
LiquoriceTea · 28/03/2018 08:07

It seems a lot of emphasis on having to shine rather than enjoying the activities he does.

HamishTheTalkingCactus · 28/03/2018 08:21

I have no personal experience, but martial arts seems to be very well regarded for improving confidence/self-discipline/resilience, would he be interested in anything like that? Or volunteering with animals/environmental stuff?

I think this determination to "shine" needs to be discouraged if at all possible- as it makes his self-esteem too dependant on external validation. To be blunt, I don't think that battling the school over a fairer distribution of starring roles in musicals etc is worth the fight. I can't see the school being receptive to suggestions that children there from nursery get a better deal in anyway, I wouldn't try and argue that.

Ohyesiam · 28/03/2018 08:23

So are the children who have been picked for the musical good?

Witchend · 28/03/2018 08:29

It's not clear from your post as to whether he has unrealistic expectations or whether he's being overlooked for no reason.

The dance thing, I think was reasonable not to want to add someone to; it may have been badly handled, but adding someone to a choreographed dance if it's been done carefully with the number of people isn't always easy.

KHFC2018 · 28/03/2018 08:31

My children are younger so I have not experienced this situation yet, but I sympathize with you. Are there any music festivals or competitions outside school that he can enter? You can't control how they select inside school but maybe you can help him to focus on something outside school?

joan12 · 28/03/2018 08:47

He is medicated for anxiety at 11?! It sounds like he has some very good reasons to be anxious. Did he - as someone else suggested - have any psychotherapy or CBT along with this or before this? That would be extraordinary here; a substantial amount of talking therapy and parent support would be offered first.

And yes to pps suggestions - take all the emphasis off 'shine bright' and put it on having fun. You are setting him up for an anxiety disorder otherwise and while meds alleviate the symptoms they're doing nothing to help him learn to manage them himself and nothing to tackle the root causes, of which, your post suggests there are many.

Kokeshi123 · 28/03/2018 08:52

"There is taunting and general nastiness about from the kids who’ve come up from the bottom about how they are superior to and more important than those who arrived later on."

That does sound just horrible, as does the fact that kids were goading him on when he was going into a panic attack and then laughing about it. Your son certainly needs to work on resilience, but it sounds like there are also bullying issues at the school--perhaps ones that are being subtly encouraged by the attitudes among the parents and teachers, by the sound of it.

user1474652148 · 28/03/2018 09:05

To be honest even going by your posts....everything is so intense.
Really really intens.
Your giving this so much airtime and way too much oxygen. It is a show, there will be others. He need to learn to minimise and control his feelings and he won’t learn that by you rushing to the school governors over a musical.
Big step back and start focusing on your own behaviour. You could be fuelling the stress and anger.
Cut back on all activities if he is stressed maybe keeping drama as the only one. Mindfulness, yoga for children and long walks with you would be better for his mental health.
Pushing for him to shine is putting more pressure on him.
Relax and he will relax. He is 11 and you have a window of opportunity

user1474652148 · 28/03/2018 09:05

Intense

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 28/03/2018 09:36

I think this determination to "shine" needs to be discouraged if at all possible- as it makes his self-esteem too dependent on external validation.

I very much agree with this from Hamish.

It usually works out better when the motivation to do something comes from the internal satisfaction it brings, whether others recognise you are good at it or not.

I also feel that it might be better if you minimised the importance of this situation rather than emphasising how bad it is, otherwise there could be a danger of you and your DS getting into a negative feedback loop with each other.

Having said that, I do understand the feelings that can be evoked when you sense your DC is ‘bottom of the heap’ at school. My DS was in a similar position at primary school. He had a low status in the class, a status that the other children and some of the school staff reinforced.

It was like being in a dysfunctional family in which each member is assigned a role to play and the ill-favoured one ends up playing the outcast or scapegoat.

If a toxic dynamic has persisted for several years in a class, and change seems unlikely, I think the best thing is not to fight against it but try to let it wash over you until you can escape the situation.

Your DS has done very well in getting a scholarship. That’s a golden ticket to a better future. He’ll look back at all this and realise it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world (to paraphrase Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca).

And while we’re talking movies, see if you can get your DS to watch Billy Elliot!

differentnameforthis · 28/03/2018 12:00

Paed and I think Aspergers/ASD likely but no benefit to finding out for sure at this point. Seriously??? There are HEAPS of benefits. You are doing him an injustice not finding out. Chances are he is, especially as his younger sister is.

Your posts are screaming it, in fact!!

NameyMcChangeRae · 28/03/2018 12:26

It sounds like his focus is on bring ‘the best’, rather than enjoying his time at school at the activities he does.
Perhaps the other children are reacting to this need to be better/the best.
Agree that this need ‘to shine’ is unhealthy. Some children are average at most things, and that’s fine. They should be enjoying their childhood, and doing things they enjoy.

Ultimately he is overreacting to trivial school politics, and you are reinforcing the belief that these things are important. I mean, does it really matter if the school dance isn’t exactly as he would like it to be?! Part of growing up and maturing is understanding that you can’t have everything you want, and you Sometimes need to compromise with others.
Agree a diagnosis of ASD could be helpful, especially in understanding why he is having difficulty relating and interacting with others.
I wonder if family therapy could help, as you seem overinvested in his petty primary school dramas, and are having difficulty asserting yourself as a parent (I.e. telling him to shut up about the bloody dance!)

You seem to be trying your best in difficult circumstances, so Flowers. I hope things settle down soon

differentnameforthis · 28/03/2018 12:35

There's a lot things that flag up in your posts, op.

Firstly, why don't you think it is worth exploring the ASD path with your son.

Sorry to say, the worse part for me is your apathy for your son. I know that some of this is because of all the issues that you are currently dealing with, and I get it. I have a highly anxious, autistic daughter not much younger than he is. So I get the hard times, I live the hard times. They are relentless, but in all of it, I remember that if I am struggling, she is struggling so much more. Your negativity on having to spend the holidays with him will probably be rubbing off on him.

In fact, your posts seems more to do with you having to deal with your son, than anyone managing his expectations. That reads to me as a side issue to be fair.

Private schools are exactly how you describe in my opinion. First in, first served in terms of opportunity etc. So kids who have been attending since kindy get the best of everything, everyone else is seen as an outsider/runner up.

I would seriously consider moving him, or taking him out until the next school year. It is not going to get better, they are going to gesture, and ummm and ahhh as he only has 3 terms left.

I would also cut down his activities. It sounds like he is micro managed and over stimulated. As for focusing on good things, ask him what he enjoys about his day. Don't ignore the negative, but talk it through, deal with what you can deal with, forget what you can't.

Also, the medication for his anxiety, it's not working, is it?