School dinner problems

[alibaba1980]

My son is incredibly fussy so has packed lunch most days. We encourage him to have cooked dinner when it is something he’d eat but we have no way of knowing what he’s eating. He often leaves half of his packed lunch and gives the excuse of not having enough time or that he was talking too much and his friends finished before him so he went out to play. I’ve spoken to the school who haven’t been any help. Am I wrong to expect the school to keep him at the table until he’s finished his lunch. I see it as neglect that they are not ensuring that he’s eating and drinking.

So he can leave the table at home despite not finishing his meal, but at school he shouldn't be allowed to go out to play unless he finishes everything?

Also chilli and gammon are really not weird choices, they are pretty common meals for primary aged children. I genuinely thought you were going to say they were serving pilchards or something most pupils wouldn't eat often at home.

Nothing odd about those, they’re pretty standard meals. Midday supervisor here too and although we encourage the children to eat we simply can’t stand over each child and spoon feed them and goodness knows sometimes we try. You’d need one to one support for that and believe me, your child isn’t the only one who needs coaxing to eat. How many members of staff would you like in the hall?

My ds is very fussy and extremely slow eater and even he has packed lunch, he sometimes leaves food only because he wants to go out to play.
I don't expect school to be responsible. It's too much to ask, and my ds is underweight too, but it's not really school's fault, imo. I think you need to have some kind of health care plan if you want school to be responsible for what he eats at lunch.

Roast gammon and chilli are not "odd choices". Both standard staples here.

What does he eat at home?
How much lunch do you give him and what does he have?

I don't understand why you let him leave the table at home when he has eaten a "reasonable amount" but not when he is at school

Is there one thing you send for his packed lunch that he always eats, without fail? If so, I would send that every day. So, ham sandwich every day if you are certain he will eat it, rather than trying to send him with a variety of different fillings to avoid boredom. Something like flapjack might be good too, as it is appealing to most children (I think!) and is fairly calorific whilst being acceptable to the packed lunch police.
Would agree with a PP to offer him the remains of his packed lunch to eat on the way home.

My son has never eaten more than a quarter of his packed lunch. He has a good breakfast and can have food when he comes home. I certainly wouldn't expect school to supervise/force him. They are in school for only 6 hours. I won't deny I do get cross with him, however he is most certainly not underweight now at 11 so I'm not going to get my knickers in a knot about it.
Try and relax if you can, it will all pan out.

If there are meals that the are served regularly for school dinners could you start to make these at home to get him used to the flavours? Might not eat much at first but the more you make it, the more used to it he’ll get.

I remember my mum forcing me to eat any left over lunch after school, it was horrific. So I started to bin it at school. But I did that because I didn’t like the pack lunch I was given. Not great but I never starved.

Sorry OP I don't mean to be harsh, but I work in a school and this sort of thing drives me bonkers. In the last few years, we've seen a massive increase in helicopter parenting, where parents want to micromanage every aspect of what goes on in school. So, on a daily basis we get things like: please ensure my child eats their lunch (and gets exactly their first choice of school dinner); please ensure my child drinks a certain amount of water during the day; please keep a close eye on who my child plays with at lunch time and what they're playing; please ensure my child sits next to/doesn't sit next to XY or Z child; please ensure that my child picks the right sort of book in the library because he sometimes doesn't enjoy the ones he chooses; please ensure my child doesn't lose any of her possessions at school, and if she does, please immediately turn the school upside down to find them. Etc etc etc. Needless to say the 'pleases' have been added by me . There is so much talk about teachers leaving the profession because of government-imposed pressure - much less talk of them leaving because over-entitled, micro-managing parents are making their lives a misery. This may sound like an exaggeration - it's really not. When staff do not comply with these 'requests', they often get a seriously unpleasant and aggressive response - or they just get subjected to endless requests for 'quick meetings' with parents which end up lasting 45 minutes to discuss pointless trivia.

OP I am obviously not laying all this at your door personally - but please just have a good think about what you're asking (basically one on one supervision of each child - multiplied by 30 in a class or 100 in a lunch hall - all done by 1-2 members of staff in the room who are trying to get on with their actual jobs).