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Changing schools too frequently and 11+ Vs 13+ preps?

18 replies

Superconfusedparent · 15/03/2018 11:07

I was hoping if I can pick wise mums' brains on this. My DS sat 7+ last last year for some of the very competitive schools in London/SW London. He has been offered place at a very good prep and we have accepted the place as I really don't like his current prep. He did not get place for SPJS but they have called him back to take 8+ next year. He also did 7+ at KCJS where he scored really good in Maths but English score wasn't great but overall feedback was good and suggestion was he can try for 8+ next year as will be more mature by then. He is late summer born so youngest for his year group.

So my question is - Since he will start new school in Sept 2018; is it advisable for us to do 8+ and if he gets through SPJS or KCS to change school again in Sept 2019?

Also how will the new school react to the fact that he would have just joined 2 months and doing 8+?

I really don't want to stick to his current prep as I don't think we are getting what we expect from preps. Current prep goes till 11 while new prep will go till 13. So another question that is bothering me is do 11+ Vs 13+ school if we don't do 8+?

At the same time, doing 8+ is very tempting as syllabus is manageable and hopefully less stressful than 11+ or 13+.

So I would like your opinions/thoughts on this situation.

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CruCru · 15/03/2018 11:30

If your son gets into KCJS or SPJS, will he automatically go through to the senior school? If so then I can see the appeal of doing the 8+.

Will the current (new) prep know that your son is doing the 8+? He probably won't be the only one if the school are feeders to those schools.

If you (and he) are not happy with the current prep, then go ahead and move him. It is possible that he still won't get through at 8+ (sorry - I know a couple of kids who've done the 8+ for a different school) and it's a long time to be in a school you aren't happy with if that is the case.

Re whether your son should start senior school at 11+ or 13+ - the head of the new prep should be able to advise you on this. Bear in mind that if he goes to a 13+ school, he may still have to do pre tests at 11+ (and then common entrance at 13).

Superconfusedparent · 15/03/2018 15:11

CruCru..thanks for response. If he gets through SPJS or KCJS..yes it will be automatic entry to seniors which is very big carrot.
But you are right, the competition these days for 7+/8+ as well as increased so much and they are so many clevel boys..its no guarantee that he will crack 8+ for these schools.

We haven't yet discussed with new school about him doing 8+. I still have to give term's notice to his current prep and next week is when I should be giving it.

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Roseredvelvet · 16/03/2018 09:50

Superconfusedparent my dcs have just sat the 8+ and 11+ respectively. The competition for the 11+ is ridiculous, 3x as many dcs sit it as compared to the 8+. I don't think the new prep would be too impressed, if you are planning to sit the 8+ you may be better off staying at your current prep. KCS only had 14 places at 8+ this year. KCS also do 9+/10+. 13+ has an additional science paper. Good luck with your decision.

Superconfusedparent · 18/03/2018 21:38

True Roseredvelvet..i guess we r trying to be on 2 boats! The thing is 8+ isng guaranteed and i am not confident on current prep to take risk and leave him till 11+ if he doesnt do8+.

Ah..decisions decisions decisions...

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BubblesBuddy · 19/03/2018 11:09

Would you not consider him staying at the new prep (the one he has got into) and staying until he is 13? I assume this prep is preparing children for 13 plus entry but it takes away the stress of 11 plus which is fiercely competitive. Could he board from 13-18? I think this opens up other possibilities and is far less stressful - if you can afford it.

I realise the London market is different but I know many extremely good schools outside London take children from 13, not 11. The boys have a chance to mature and it is less competitive. It also means you woud not have to change schools for years. He would not have to do competitive exams for years either. I assume you do not really want exam after exam after exam for him - and possibly continued disappointment!

trinity0097 · 19/03/2018 20:52

If you go for 8+ the school will be asked for references. We have a couple of boys leaving this year after just joining as they got into kcs/St Paul’s - it’s frustrating for us, but we can’t stop them!
I would advise though if you try for 8+ and are not successful to just call it quits until the proper round of pre-tests in Year 6 - you may have found that your son may fit another school better then anyway, or your thoughts in biarding might have changed etc.... 13+ spaces in boarding schools are generally easier to get than places in London day schools.

trinity0097 · 19/03/2018 20:54

You generally have until the start of the new term to give notice, as long as it is received by the first days of term, unless you have very specific T&Cs at your current school?

Which school is it that you have been offered a place at?

Hopeful2000 · 22/03/2018 07:43

Hi I have PMed you. :)

Lowdoorinthewal1 · 22/03/2018 07:54

I agree with Bubbles- choose a less stressful path for him. Take the place at the Prep you have an offer at, let him settle, make friends and enjoy his prep school years. They are really formative and stability is important.

Then take the advice of your prep for the right school for him at 13+

London and parts of the South East just seems to have totally lost the plot about what is important for children's development.

hhks · 22/03/2018 11:11

OP, I know boys who joined Latymer prep and other prep 7+ last Sept, and then sat for 8+ at SPJS in Jan this year. I totally understand your point for doing this. the only tricky thing is to explain to your new school about the plan. does your new school also have an 8+ intake?

Also you need to bear in mind that KCS only have 14 places for 8+, and next year SPJS only have 18 -22 places for 8+ as they increased 7+ intake. Have you considered WUS? but WUS is not going through to WS automatically like KCS or SPJS.

If your boy doesn't make it in 8+, i would think it's better to sit 13+ instead of 11+.

Superconfusedparent · 22/03/2018 13:39

Thanks all for your inputs.

Agree..the tricky part is to explain to new school if we are going for 8+.

The new school doesn't as such hv specific intake at 8+ but on some probing I hv found out that they always lose few kids to kcs and st pauls at 8+( thats what i hear from current parents at new school). But then , those may be who are there since reception..whats awkward would be to explain school if we join in Sept and take exams in Dec!

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BubblesBuddy · 22/03/2018 19:41

Are you so desperate for your DS to take yet more exams? What are you going to do if he fails again? What about his self esteem and wellbeing? I would put him first. Not an exam schedule!

Superconfusedparent · 22/03/2018 20:31

Hi Bubblesbuddy..it is not about failure..its all about how one handles failure. When he didnt clear 7+ for preferred schools, we calmly discussed with him all the results...schools he got and schools he didn't. We celebrated the hard work he had put into the preparation.He was rewarded for hard work and not outcome. We discussed on trying again if he wants to for next year. He is motivated to try for his own reasons( very kiddish reasons though) but he is more than happy to try.
I understand where you are coming from but having gone through 7+ exp, we know we were very close to getting requisite marks and hence , a part of me wants to try again at 8+. So its not being desperate, I am trying to see if 8+ could be slightly easier route to its reach the desired outcome

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BubblesBuddy · 23/03/2018 14:40

You have obviously convinced yourself of this! It is clearly about failure if he has to keep, essentially, doing resits! What if he fails again? It’s your desired outcome that’s driving this. You can explain it to him all you want but he’s the one changing schools and taking exams and it’s to satisfy you. Just move at 13 plus. That’s the really easy route!

TheAntiBoop · 23/03/2018 19:40

I personally wouldn't do it again and would leave him in the prep until he is 13 so he can build some friendships and ignore the academic pressure for a couple more years. It all sounds very pressurised

ChocolateWombat · 23/03/2018 21:00

I think it would be too much moving and if not too much moving, too much failure which prevented the moving, if you know what I mean...either way, bad.....and that's the effect on your DS, not the embarrassment if broaching it with new school, which is actually far less the concern, although seems to be the thing really worrying you.

I can see that if you can get your place at 7+ in a school which guarantees entry into the Senior without exam, that's great and might relieve later stress. People try that (as you have) and either succeed or don't (as you haven't). Most then accept what has happened and focus on the next normal entry point which is 11 or 13. Some will have another go at 8 or 9, but understandably this raises eyebrows in terms of stress created...because again there is no certainty and so yet another application at 11 or 13 may well be necessary.

Your situation is potentially even worse than this, because you are factoring in an additional move to a new Prep. This generates even more potential change - so possibly being in 3 different schools in 3 years - is avoiding 11+ or 13+ really worth putting a child through 3 schools in 3 years?

I think you are trying to hedge your bets too much. There are consequences for your son of doing this. You would be hoping for the 3 schools in 3 years outcome - that is the aim of the exercise....think about how crazy that seems. Your DS would start a new school knowing he was about to sit more exams - how could he ever emotionally commit to that school and make friends and get the best from that year.....and imagine then staying, when that felt second best.

I think that you need to stop trying to hedge. Either choose to remain where he is and have another go at 8+......but to be honest, that's not a great option, because although it could avoid 3 schools in 3 years, if it doesn't work out, you'll still want to move him and be dissatisfied.

I think the best option, if you don't like the current Prep (and be sure you're not just a grass is always greener on the other side kind of person, who will actually always be unhappy with the current school) you should move to another good Prep, but with a view to staying until 11 or 13. Accept that the Junior phase entry to those top Preps hasn't worked out and make the most of the Prep he can be in and do well in and enjoy the rest of the Prep phase. Be confident that he will be well prepared for 11+ or 13+ and do his very best....and that if he gets into the schools you'd prefer, that's fabulous, but if he doesn't, there will be another great alternative for him.

You cannot control absolutely everything. Trying to do this and always seeking after the very best or the very best door to the next phase, is exhausting and not good for a child.

And stop thinking about it in terms of telling the new school - as if that were the biggest barrier. If doing the 8+ really was the best thing, this should be the least of your worries. The thing is that 3 schools in 3 years should be concerning you most. Move school and throw yourselves into that new place for the remaining years. Accept that the move to the junior school of a senior you'd like him to go to, just hasn't worked out. This will allow him to move on from it too, rather than having a sense that really, only there is actually good enough.

hhks · 24/03/2018 20:10

I am not sure how bad your current pre prep school is. usually for parents who are desperate for the top schools, they only sit for those top schools at 7+, and then sit for more schools at 8+ if 7+ doesn't work out well. why throw yourself into this dilemma by sitting for schools you don't really really want to go?

Superconfusedparent · 26/03/2018 09:53

Thanks all for insights and your inputs. Lots to think and take into consideration. We will take final call by this weekend.

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