Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

Original poster

Sodding pencil grip stress!

23 replies

bellylaughs · 09/03/2018 10:31

My Year 3 DD is getting more and more stressed about using the right pencil grip.

She has beautiful joined up, even handwriting when she uses her “natural” pencil grip (which is only a slight variation on the “official” one). But when she uses the official one, although her writing is still ok (not as good) the teacher comes down on her hard.

She has now realised that when the teacher’s not looking she can get away with natural grip and get praised for a beautiful piece of work but the reverse happens when teacher is on the ball.

She does extended writing on Fridays which makes her sad and anxious, she explained to me this morning (through tears) that everyone gets targets to work on for their writing task but hers is always handwriting.

Added to this the School start giving out pen licences In year 3 and one girl in the class has got hers so DD feels she will be the last because of this pencil grip issue.

Is the correct grip really that important? As I say her natural one is quite similar nothing weird or anything.

Ps we’ve used the rubber grips that you slide on to pencils with some success but won’t use them in school as people laugh at her.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

missyB1 · 09/03/2018 10:36

You need to go in and have this out with the teacher, show them what you’ve written here. My ds has a terrible time with pencil grip due to poor fine motor control, (had to use specially ordered weighted grips for a while). Now he just writes the way that is most comfortable for him, he prints very neatly, which I am quite happy with. His joined up writing isn’t that neat so he doesn’t have his pen license (he’s Year 4), but I’ve told the teacher I’m not worried so I don’t him to be given a hard time.

halcyondays · 09/03/2018 10:42

I can write very neatly but have never been able to use the "right" pencil grip. So I don't think it matters.

MissClarke86 · 09/03/2018 10:42

Wow. I’m a primary teacher and unless she’s full hand grasping (toddler style holding) and her grip wasn’t painful I really wouldn’t be bothered at all.

zzzzz · 09/03/2018 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Didiplanthis · 09/03/2018 11:51

Having this with my year 3. We have now agreed she can use her own grip ! We had to go via SENCO in the end.

Original poster

bellylaughs · 09/03/2018 14:12

Thank you for all the replies, you’ve given me the courage to speak to the teacher today.

I think the school identified that there was a big problem with handwriting about a year ago and since then they have gone crazy trying to fix it. Of course that it’s good they should work on it to an extent but it is going over the top at times too

OP posts:

deplorabelle · 09/03/2018 14:44

See if the school has a handwriting policy as that will inform how you tackle it with school

Original poster

bellylaughs · 09/03/2018 16:31

Update; went to go talk to teacher at pick up only for DD to break down begging me not to because she doesn’t want to be taken out for a “special chat” and be singled out in any way
Will have to revert to plan B of phoning during the school day and asking for a call back at teachers convenience and then do her to be subtle!!
Thank For the tip re policy, deplorabelle, will check!

OP posts:

cuddleme · 09/03/2018 18:14

@bellylaughs, is she allowed to use one of these? ... www.amazon.co.uk/Pencil-Grip-Pack-3/dp/B000WEO5SC?tag=mumsnetforum-21

We used one for a while and it helped.

PanannyPanoo · 09/03/2018 18:21

My daughter is hyper mobile. We tried lots of grips and different pens in reception. Her writing is best when she holds the pen the way that feels natural to her.
If the aim is neat writing and your daughter has that with her idiosyncratic grip then there is no benefit at all in her being made to change. I would email the teacher, ask for policy and why she is being made to change her natural grip. Explain that she is upset and no longer enjoys school as much and you don't want her to be worried for such a small problem.

Original poster

bellylaughs · 09/03/2018 21:21

Cuddleme, thank you for the link, she uses them at home sometimes but as I said, doesn’t like to be “different” at school...

Pananny thank you so much for your comment. DD is actually hyper mobile too so maybe that does affect her grip?! It hadn’t occurred to me that it might. I will definitely mention this when speaking to the teacher.

OP posts:

PanannyPanoo · 09/03/2018 22:28

We have Ehlers-Danlos and were told that
Children with joint hypermobility often adapt their grip to accommodate the increased flexibility in their hand joints. The adaptation may be functional and allow for small movements of the fingers needed for writing.

This may be a useful article to show.

tranquilbabiesny.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/does-a-funky-pencil-grasp-damage-joints-or-support-function-in-kids-with-hypermobility/

MidniteScribbler · 10/03/2018 02:11

I went through this as a child and teachers spent a lot of time trying to 'correct' my grip. After I got past about grade 4 they stopped caring and I was able to write properly again. I'm a teacher and I couldn't care less how you hold your pencil as long as your writing is neat. I would only focus on it if the student does have issues with handwriting and grip was a part of that.

Norestformrz · 10/03/2018 06:07

A dynamic tripod grip is considered the most effective but there are many variations. Occupational therapists will say that what's important is that the grip is comfortable and effective and if this is the case don't try to change.
We're working with a paediatric OT service in school and they've recommended the most bizarre looking grip for one child but it works.

Callamia · 10/03/2018 06:19

I have an immature pencil grip. I do it because it’s more comfortable this way. I was given those pencil triangular grips things in Y6 (waaay too late!), and I chucked them. I just can’t do it. My fingertips seem to bend the wrong way.

I was pretty much a straight A student in written exams, my writing is entirely legible (although not school-handwriting perfect) and once I got to secondary school no one cared a bit. I agree that if it’s not impeding writing, or causing pain, then it’s not an issue and likely to be adaptive.

BrendansDanceShoes · 10/03/2018 09:41

If the handwriting is legible and the grip is not way different to the norm, and because of the hypermobility, I'd fight your position with school. There is a national curriculum requirement/measure/target for joined up handwriting by the end of year 2, which may explain why school got 'a bit crazy about it' last year. The whole issue of pen licences stinks, my DC's primary got rid of these with a new teacher, and just determined that everyone gets a pen at the start of year 4( too late for my DC to be one only 3 kids in his class without one by year 4 because his handwriting is poor despite being a higher achieving kid- the blow to self esteem and confidence took ages to rebuild, thank you school ) Once at secondary, it simply doesn't matter how your child writes if it is legible and comfortable. (Thankfully for us DS now writes predominantly not joined up, but he finds this faster and it's way more legible)Make sure you have the discussion soon, and involve your DD so the teacher realises the impact on singling her work out for handwriting on this. It seems it is affecting her confidence and she doesn't need this to get worse

spanieleyes · 10/03/2018 09:53

There might be a national curriculum requirement for children to ‘use the diagonal and horizontal strokes that are needed to join letters and understand which letters, when adjacent to one another, are best left
unjoined’ but there is NO requirement about the grip used to produce such writing. Certainly, I would expect a child with hypermobility to use a grip which is comfortable and produces the best outcome possible for the child but that DOESN'T mean it should be a school-proscribed grip. In fact, I would say the same for ANY child! ( Probably because, even after many years of teaching handwriting, my own grip is "non-conformist" to say the least.!)

Elephantgrey · 10/03/2018 09:58

I used to be a primary teacher. Not all children can have s tripod grip. A lot of people have an adaptive grip which gives them better pencil control. This is often because they have some degree of joint hypermobility. This is a useful link.
(www.skillsforaction.com/handwriting/overview-difficulties-joint-hypermobility-DCD-dyspraxia)

HoppingPavlova · 10/03/2018 10:07

How ridiculous.
I have an immature pencil grip. I had certain teachers at school who made my life a misery to no avail as nothing apart from my natural grip worked.
I have a medical degree.
Tell teachers to get a grip - literally! I had one with the same issues. Teachers got very short shrift with me.

Aria2015 · 10/03/2018 10:20

Mmm this is tough. I never used a pencil grip and I hold my pen 'wrong', it's not an issue Day-to-Day but I suffered badly during my GCSEs, A-levels and degree exams because my hands would ache so badly from holding my pen wrong. My hand would become weak and my writing nearly illegible. I would get so upset and panicked it definitely added stress to an already stressful situation.

I'm going on a weeks course soon and will be expecting ted to take notes and I'm dreading it because I know my hands will hurt but I just can't my own any differently now.

As I say, day to day now it's no issue because I mainly use a computer and writing a birthday card is the most writing by hand that I get done but your dd will have exams etc... ahead so she'll need to be able to write comfortably for those so maybe it's something she should persevere with?

Original poster

bellylaughs · 16/03/2018 15:11

Update; thanks everyone for your advice. I wrote a firm polite email to the teacher and finally received a reply yesterday to say that it was no problem and DDs grip would not be corrected again. Phew!

OP posts:

PanannyPanoo · 16/03/2018 22:22

I'm glad the teacher has taken your thoughts on board. Hope your daughter feels much more relaxed and happier about school in the future

SixFeetUnder · 16/03/2018 22:58

I hold my pen between my index and middle fingers (kind of like a claw according to my family) and have lovely handwriting so I've been told. Was forever being told off by teachers, including a few raps on the knuckles with a ruler, but I have always held my pen this way, feels totally natural to me. I wrote youngest DS Valentines card this year using 'normal' grip to disguise my writing and he said it looked like a child had written it. Badly. I had to agree!

Flip