OK, so we are off to see ds's teacher and headmaster, anyone care to help with questions/stratergies?

[DrNortherner]

Ds is 5 and has had a bit of a rocky ride since starting school last september. IMO he has been labelled the naughty child, and is jumped on from a great height on every possible ocassion.

He can be impulsive, he is energetic and boisterous. Academically there are no problems. He has never once said he hates school, he seems to enjoy it. He is sociable and popular - lots of party invites etc.

Yesterday he kicked a boy who stole his friends cap and got in big trouble.

Hois teacher thinks he in in some sort of 'turmoil' and we all want to sort this out.

Most of the problems seem to occur at playtime/lunchtime.

I am really stressing out over this.

Not really sure, but am bumping for you.

There was some good advice on your thread a couple of days ago (which I didn't post on) about looking for triggers and perhaps providing some more structure in the unstructured parts of the day.

DS2 (5 and in Y1) has just bitten another child for the second time this school year - he never did this at all in Reception or Nursery. It was a game that got out of hand and both boys have missed playtimes at school. DS2 has also had TV and computer time taken away for 2 days. But I have realised that I need to be much harder when there is casusal violence between my boys at home. They are always fighting/rolling around and often I turn a blind eye. But I think I need to act at home now, and I think your other thread and advice there was spot on.

Good luck with your meeting and let us know how you get on.

'Casual' violence, of course.

Make sure you agree with them a positive, incentive based approach to be used. DOn't just let them tell you he's bad. Push it back at them, what are THEY going to do to help him toe the line.

Ask for a record to be kept of incidences and how they were handled, it doesn't have to be long, brief notes would do. Possibly in the form of a home-school note book, or perhaps just easier for you to have a chat every day at home time.
If a record is kept you may be able to see a pattern - afternoon breaks because he's tired or they had xxx for lunch, lunchtime queue because they're all squashed closely together. If you can identify any triggers you'll work out some ways to make it easier for him.

Hi there
I today received a letter to go in to see the Head re my ds aged 4 behaviour. He sounds exactly like your ds. Unfortunately he is starting to hate school as he feels he is naughty.
I am fu,,,,,ing furious about it. I have already spoken to his teachers and told them i felt he was labelled as the naughty one - ds told me when him and another get in a scuffle it is only him being told off. i did get annoyed with his teachers saying well he only behaves like this at school and they are obviously not dealing with it so what are they going to do they have now told head i am aggressive and challenging them. Unbeleivable!!!
Anyway, good luck

Gosh DrNortherner, I don't know, but my impression, from what you've written, is that it's normal 5 yr old boy behaviour. I mean, I know he's got to learn but is it really such a big issue? He's 5 FFS!!

Sorry, that sounds ridiculous now. Perhaps there more to it, it sounds like you had another thread I didn't see.