Problems during school assembly

[Govinda]

My (just turned) 5 year old has real problems sitting at peace during school assembly which are once, sometimes twice a week for an hour or so. He tells me they are so boring. At parents night I was told he is constantly touching and prodding at other children during them. Also I have another older child at the school who comes home every time they have assembly telling me tales about the 5 year old getting a row/moved etc. Apart from at assembly his behaviour is fine and he has plenty of friends. I don't know what to do about it. Obviously ive spoken to him about keeping his hands to himself and trying to sit quietly but not much I can do not being there. I even suggested he just sit and daydream if hes bored (although not sure that was the brightest idea). Anyone have any tips?

I don't think it's really something you need to worry about. He won't be the first kid to need help to get through assembly. They will have ways to sort it out. He'll probably find himself sat beside the teacher for a while.

Are they really an hour, or do they just feel like an hour to your DC? In all my time teaching I've never been to a regular, internal assemble that lasted an hour.

Its the older one who says its about an hour but he could be exaggerating. Its just so frustrating when he comes home telling me his little brother is always in trouble during them. Makes me panic the whole school see him as a trouble maker. Apparently this week a girl in his class shouted out loud to the head teacher while she was talking to tell her my son was annoying her so he got a row infront of the whole school 😶

My dcs didn’t have to sit through assemblies in reception -they’re too young!

The teacher needs to come up with a better solution.

I think an hour is an exaggeration. Assembly was always boring. It’s good for children to learn to be bored and to sit still. I wouldn’t get involved st all and tell the older one not to snitch.

Well the girl that shouted out should have been told that was inappropriate and told to tell the teacher nearest her not interrupt the whole assembly. At 5 there is normally quite a few teachers sat at the end of the rows keeping an eye on behaviour. Have a word with his teacher and ask if he can always be made to sit at the end of the row so he only has one neighbour and the teacher can easily pull him up of he starts messing around.

Assemblies are hit and miss but they aren't an hour long. Usually 15/20 mins tops.

Maybe give him some strategies for how to fidget withour disrupting. E.g. matching thumb to fingers on his hand / playing with thr edge of his sleeve / piece of blu tak if the teacher is happy with it.

I don't know what the staff aren't trying things to address it, e.g. sit him by his teacher (at her feet if they sit on floor), away from the others, and tell him he can sit with his friends when he learns to sit nicely.
If he really is fine at all other times it would suggest he hasn't really got the message on what he is supposed to do, and he teacher may need to have a more serious talk with him, about exactly what he must do and not do. Maybe also a small reward if he sits nicely all through.

But they should be able to think of these sort of strategies, I'm sure he's not the first 5 year old who doesn't sit still!

Assemblies won't be and hour long, if all the other children can manage then he needs to as well.

Does he normally suffer from unusually poor concentration / short attention span?

I had years of snitching elder sob issues. My favourite was when they were in year 7 and 4 and I was told "he is totally humiliating - he was clapping in an odd way and everyone in my year was staring at him "

Your younger one won't be the first or only. There was generally at least one small child being gripped firmly by a teacher when I used to do "all about bookshop" briefings to new boys and they were year 3.

Even when I taught in Year 6 there were some children who had to be sat right near me in order to concentrate. Assemblies are boring but I don't think it's a bad thing to learn to deal with boredom.

I fear my DS will be the same when he starts school in Sept. He's good at listening but absolutely cannot sit still. We are working on it but he forgets himself and ends up swaying / rocking to music that only he can hear 😂.

I would encourage your older one to stop reporting back.

if all the other children can manage then he needs to as well.

Does he normally suffer from unusually poor concentration / short attention span?

The first isn't helpful, its clear the OP is already concerned that he isn't behaving. The second was answered in the OP.

No, his concentration is mostly fine but he is the sort of boy who always keeps himself active at home like playing with toys, asking to go walks, drawings etc... hes not one for sitting doing nothing. He's happy doing school work and listens well to instructions in school and at home. He just finds assembly so boring.

I'm sure he won't be the only one who can't sit still but my older son says he is! I'll ask the teacher to consider sitting him at the edge.

Thanks for your suggestion Maisy. Maybe some discreet fidget strategies will help him.

Maybe ask how long the assemblies are. If it’s 15 mins and he’s really struggling to behave it may be worth discussing strategies with the teacher. If it is an hour (or even half and hour) I wouldn’t be surprise a 5 year old was bored and figity!

At my children’s school Reception children don’t go to Assembly, probably for this reason it’s hard for them to sit still. My DS was always a fidgeter and would want to play with with other children’s hair or clothes etc so I sympathise. Rather than getting reports from your eldest, why not ask the teacher about it and come up with a strategy together. It seems they presented you with a problem with helping with solutions! For example he could be sat on the end of a row. Come up with some ideas of what to do with his hands rather than bothering other children. I know some children like to keep a piece of blu-tack in their pocket to fiddle with (as long as they don’t get it out / throw it etc).
At the end of the day, learning to sit still and listen is a skill like any other, which some children seem to pick up easier than others; it sounds like your DS and needs to be given skills to manage. But as it’s the teachers who are there you can’t really do this without talking to them, apart from the usual reinforcement of good behaviour at home.
However my DS will say things are ‘boring’ and it’s one of my pet-hate words!!

Sorry That should read ‘withOUT helping with solutions’

I would ask the teacher if you can give him a blob if blue tack to fiddle with during assembly. That, and sit near teacher.

Ours have assembly everyday for approx 20mins and an hour on Fridays.... they are so so boring

As a teacher, I would have the distracting child seated at my feet well within kicking distance!!

A gentle nudge with a foot worked wonders with Y6.

It worked.

That's awful eddie.

I no issue with staff putting arms out to guide students as a sigb where there need to be etc but not really sure why a nudge with you foot would be needed.

I wouldn't bother the teacher with suggestions - I'm sure she is quite capable of managing a fidgetty 5yo!