Disillusioned with the system

[Slippersandacuppa]

Help!

I've just had parents' evening for my four children. Lovely village school, single form entry. All of them are meeting at least the expected standard for all subjects. Three of them are happy, for the most part. One of them isn't.

Eldest DS is in yr 6. I asked him what interesting things he's learning about. He said that there's nothing new, they're just revising all the stuff they've already learnt for their SATS.

DD is in Year one. Recent spelling words have been hedgerow, scissors and campaign. She's the unhappy one. Exceeding in everything (according to more tests), very outgoing and sociable but unhappy. It's made me really think about what's going on. Throw in to the mix the fact that my mum is Scandinavian and it's giving me even more to question.

I am going to go and talk to the head but I don't really know what I'm hoping to achieve. I have this gnawing feeling that their childhoods will (hopefully) be happy despite school, rather than it being a contributing factor.

We stay in at weekends to get homework done. Whatever they do, there's always something not quite right.

I don't want them to be part of this anymore but I don't know what the alternative is - does anyone know? I don't particularly want to home educate for a variety of reasons but am starting to think it might be the way forward.

I want them to have their happy, carefree childhood back.

Thank you, it helped to get it out!

Year six is a complete waste of time.

Ds2 was so miserable at school for the whole year. Grammar test, numeracy, grammar test, numeracy, mocks, comprehension.

No art, no music, minimal PE (and that seemed to be nothing but dodgeball in their uniform for 20 minutes), NO SCIENCE, how the fuck can they justify this??

year 7 has come as a blessed relief, with properly taught and dedicated time to a full range of subjects, and no "clever disguising" of constantly pushed English lessons - making them write up their pe lessons, for example, was my son's particular bug bear for year 6

My opinion on homework is that it gets 10 or 15 minutes and that’s it. They are at school long enough and homework shouldn’t detract from down time, hobby time and family time. In my world, homework is not important enough to justify it overtaking home time. I say this as a teacher of far too many years and I don’t set it for my class. If parents want to do something at home then in my opinion they could read to or with their child and most importantly - talk to them. Sounds simple but I know it’s missing from some homes. Instead of underlining noun phrases, I would prefer parents to be chatting with their kids.

Country prep if you can afford it.

When you have a system that means schools are judged on results, so SATs in primary and people make decisions about schools using league tables and Ofsted as criteria, then schools have little choice but to focus on those aspects of the curriculum that will get them those results.

Of course, that is a generalisation and of course parents visit schools and get a feel for the place as part of their decision making, but schools are frightened to allow their grading and results to slip because that will result in all kinds of monitoring, scrutiny and everything else that goes with not be regarded as successful.

So creativity has a minimal place in a curriculum that is focused on core subjects, with little space for flexibility, off the cuff lessons, doing something fun.

Looks like I'll have to set up my own Finnish-based school then.

Ditch the homework. I doubt anything will happen if you don't do it. And it doesn't sound like your DC are behind, so why bother?

If you can manage it (do you work etc.?) consider some time out of school. If the school isn't wildly oversubscribed or fashionable you would probably be able to slide back in, and single form entry means DC would get back into the same classes. Miss as much of Y6 in particular as possible.

We heavily limit formal after-school activities due to logistics. The happy upside to this is that we feel a lot more leisurely. Once back from school (the ones that go - one is HEd at the moment), time is proper down-time. And they have a lot more time at home for their own projects - whether this is messing about in the garden (DD2), arts and crafts (DD1) or electronic circuit boards (DS). All of them are big readers, because they have time and have in the past had very limited screen time. School can be a significant chunk of time, but you can ringfence it and not let it pollute anymore time than it has to. And it doesn't suit everyone all of the time.

I think if you have fundamental issues with schooling in England, talking to the headteacher is not really going to help. Your children’s school is measured against other schools, and have to follow the curriculum. A school can’t really go ‘off piste’, even if many of the parents would prefer it!

Three of your children are pretty happy. That’s reassuring. Regarding your Y1 child, he/she is clearly a high achiever: those spellings are very advanced for Y1. If, despite being outgoing and sociable, this child is unhappy, have you really got to the bottom of why this is? You have described YOUR reservations about the system, but what does your child actually say is making them unhappy? Is it REALLY because there are ‘too many’ tests, or ‘too much’ homework? Maybe there’s another child in the class that’s making your child miserable. Low level disruption? Bullying? Weak teaching in some way?

Would you really prefer your Y1 child’s work not to be pitched at a level to challenge him/her? If those spellings take more than 5 mins to learn each week and this bothers you, why don’t you ask for easier ones, and have that discussion with the class teacher about how you don’t want your child stretched so much because it’s making them unhappy. Bear in mind, though, that if other children are being pushed (and their parents are supportive of this) your child may prefer to keep up with their peers rather than coast.

How much homework do they get, and what type? Staying in at weekends does seem a bit rubbish at primary level. I guess though, with four children, it does take a while to support each child with their homework, even if each child’s workload is not onerous. The amount of time they spend on homework is within your control though: I’m sure there is national guidance as to how much homework time is expected for each year group. If your children are routinely exceeding this time, you’re well placed to raise this with each teacher. Perhaps you can agree that your children will stop when the time’s up, even if the work is unfinished. However, would your children be happy with that, if their friends are finishing?

You say “Whatever they do, there’s always something not quite right.” If my child’s teacher kept writing “perfect work yet again!” all the time, I’d be pretty concerned that my child is not being stretched. Surely there should be something ‘not quite right’, otherwise where is the learning?

Sorry – that’s ended up long. I don’t mean to be critical: I am just trying to understand the various points.

Our Yr1 spellings are no where near that level. We dont do any home work except some reading. Yr 6 is awful for a lot of kids due to SATS

You 'stay in at weekends to get the homework done' ???

Primary school homework ought to take about 15mins - that leaves a LOT of time to get out and about.
what on earth are you doing for it to take all weekend?

This isn't 'the system', this is an issue either with your particular school, or the way you are interpreting something.

My DS goes to a very well regarded lovely local Primary, dd went there too.
We weren’t impressed but we just accepted that it’s the best the UK has to offer. Dd is at Private Secondary and the whole ethos is very different

What you need to pinpoint is why is your daughter unhappy? Even if you think it's school,what about school? Everything or a particular subject,or the tests,or a teacher, or the pressure,or the homework etc
How much and what kind of homework to they get? What can they do during the week? How many of the kids can do theirs independently? Can some kids do theirs friday,then the others saturday and get the sunday free?
You could leave homework undone and send a note to the teacher.
The thing is even if you meet with the headteacher, a rant about the "system" won't help. They will need factual information about why your daughter is unhappy and what changes would you like.

You are all absolutely right. I need to get to the bottom of why she is unhappy and either accept the system or do something in my power to change it.

It feels as if the joy has gone out of learning and I'm not sure how much of that is because of our particular head vs the curriculum. Structured learning introduced too soon. Months dedicated to arbitrary tests (our first choice of secondary pays no attention to SATS scores). Maybe I've just been reading too many Michael Rosen posts.

I didn't mean we stay in all weekend to finish homework, just that there are occasions when it's a lovely Sunday afternoon and we still have bits to finish off. This may be self-inflicted. I could limit play dates etc during the week but feel loathe to do that.

I don't have an issue with tests. I quite enjoy them. This whole KS2 SATS thing has just shocked me. It's been their focus since September, with little room for anything else. Maybe it's an overreaction and I'll get back to plodding happily on but it seems so stressful for everyone. It doesn't seem to have the childrens' interests at heart in the slightest.

And no, I do live in the real world and don't expect everything to be met with a 'well done' and a pat on the back. With such high expectations, I know several children who have started to wonder what the point of even trying is.

DH is like some of you. We moved here knowing what the school was like. Our kids are mostly happy. I can't change the system.

I just feel panicky that this is time they won't get back.

Thank you for reading and for all of your replies. I'm going round in circles!

Speaking to the Headteacher won't help. You'll find that most teachers are in complete agreement with you but they are powerless to do anything. Try writing to your MP.

Schools are forced to teach to the tests in Y2 and Y6. Sometimes this means that the children are not taught what they need and what would help them in the long term. Teachers feel as frustrated with the system as you do.

Just out of interest, what would be the ramifications for the school if the whole year six opted out of the tests?

You'll find that most teachers are in complete agreement with you but they are powerless to do anything

One of the complaints is homework, that is something solely within the power of the school to set.

How would year 6 go about opting out? If their parents kept them off they would sit the tests when they returned to school.

The tests are statutory so if the school didn't administer them it would likely trigger immediate suspension, disciplinary and subsequent removal of the Head.

Is that what happened in 2016? I can't find anything to indicate what the parents faced after they withdrew their children. There are plenty of stories of children not sitting the tests but not on a larger scale.

The homework has definitely been stepped up recently, I'm assuming because of curriculum changes. Maybe I just have to accept that an Ofsted outstanding school is going to be like this.

I've just looked at our local private primary out of curiosity. They prepare rigorously for 11+, indie school entrance exams and SATS.

Thanks all.

Can you give an example of homework?
I guess it will always seem like a lot when you have 4 sets of it, especially if they all need some kind of parental input.

In 2016 a few parents kept their children at home for the day on the 3rd May (not the test week) in protest.
I'm sorry you've had such a negative experience of school life but they aren't all like that and
I'd also advice taking much of what Michael Risen says with a pinch of salt it doesn't reflect the picture nationally.

Yep, for year six it's one comprehension activity from the SATS buster book, one page from the Schofield & Sims maths book, 10 spellings words put into sentences and reading as often as possible.

Year one - 10 easy words and 10 harder words (badger, hedgerow, scissors, campaign, breathe etc) written out several times. An activity for these words (different coloured pencil for vowels etc) plus an extension activity (writing a story using the words). A page of maths and as much reading as possible.

We manage it all every week and they take pride in it. But at the back of my mind is the research I've read about developmental stages - children learning mainly through play until the age of seven. There is a lot of sitting and focusing in her Year.

I feel like I sound as though I'm just moaning. Apologies and thanks again.

I'm a Y1 teacher my class had no homework for half term. Normal homework is reading and a ten minute activity link to something we've done in class that week.

DD had a compression activity(read and answer questions) ,reading and 6 spellings for half term. Readearch and fact writing, reading and. 10 spellings before that.
I don't quite understand the point of the extra words,have they even learned some of the sounds? Like dge for example.

DD is Y1 as well,and there already is quite a lot of pressure regarding SATS. Main focus seems to be fluency and speed of reading and some of her classmates really struggle in the extra sessions/testing.

Play based learning you can offer yourself, I guess it's finding the balance. And no the world won't fall to pieces and she won't suddenly become lowest set in her GCSE's if you do skip reading,or spellings for plat or if she doesn't get them all etc.

As I said before you need to find out where the unhappiness stems from and then you can ask specific advice to deal with it...be it homework or someone being mean to her.

I've just looked at our local private primary out of curiosity. They prepare rigorously for 11+, indie school entrance exams and SATS.

Yeah, for determinedly low stress you need a free range chicken farm type place that goes through to 13, doesn't do SATs and doesn't aim to solely feed Winchester and Westminster. There are Y6 pre-tests now, but a lot of them are of the untutorable variety. Then getting 55 in CE is not exactly onerous.

However, that type of low pressure education makes a lot of middle class parents anxious.

No spellings or homework in dd year one class - normal state school - lots of play indoors and outdoors. I think it might be the school as much as the system.