Missing lunch

[MummingAlong]

Called into see Yr1 teacher after school to talk about oldest son. Apparently he was hiding under the coats in his class’ cloakroom at lunchtime after using the toilets. The teacher told him off and asked him to sit outside the staff room on his own for the remainder of lunch. He instead went and sat outside the first aid room and said he had a bad knee. Obviously he should have listened and gone and sat outside the staff room and not feigned an injury to avoid this. Surely this is an over dramatic management of the initial hiding behind a coat issue though? He loves lunch break as the only time he gets to play with a friend. He says he was in the cloakroom because he couldn’t find said friend and couldn’t find anyone to play with. He’s never naughty or caused trouble and is very upset I was called in to his classroom about this. I could understand the punishment if he had been mean or upset someone but surely she could have reiterated not time to be in cloakroom and to go back outside/help find a friend to play with??

To be honest, the teacher needs to be strict on things like this for safety reasons. I think you need to respect their decision on consequences but a zero tolerance approach seems very sensible to me

It's definitely a safety issue and as such taken very seriously. Can I add your title is misleading as I presume he had lunch.

Hiding in the cloakroom is a safety issue, but sitting outside the staff room for the rest of lunch is a bit much. Are you sure this was the first time he had been caught indoors when he shouldn't be? and that he hadn't already been sent back outside?

I'm a TA in a primary school. In my opinion that is a ridiculous punishment for hiding in the cloakroom. Poor boy! Did anyone ask him why he was there? Offer to help find his friend or someone to play with?

How long before the end of the lunch break was he discovered?

And "He’s never naughty or caused trouble" is only half true now. What he did was naughty. Whether the sanction was appropriate rather depends on how long was left of the break.

He does need to get the message that there are better ways to deal with friendship issues than breaking the rules by hiding like that.

I would be more concerned about why he couldn't find anyone to play with. Is he overly dependent on one friend?

He was there for a few minutes after going in said cloakroom to use the toilet. He hadn’t been told to go outside already. I wouldn’t label a child as ‘now naughty’ for the rest of school because they hid briefly behind their coat feeling a bit sorry for themselves. I think just a brief amount of time spent asking him why he was there, and explaining the safety reasons behind not being there would have been much more productive than making him sit alone in a corridor aged 5 for 20 minutes personally.

I do not think a child of 5 has a concept of time, he may well have only been kept outside the staffroom for a few minutes.
Lunch times are a very busy time for teachers who normally spend it catching up on marking, preparing for the afternoon lessons and grabbing a quick drink. Infact it is the dinner ladies duties to resolve any issues with children during this time. Teachers certainly do not have the time to go round the playground helping your child to find someone to play with.

I’m a GP so am fully aware of busy lunchtimes thank you. There are however lots of lunchtime ‘attendants’ outside to assist. Nonetheless, if a child from your class comes to your attention, you then have a choice in how to manage the situation including directing to another staff member.

A gp, then you will have no idea what it is like to be surrounded by 30 children all day. The teacher did as she saw fit, no doubt as you do during your working day.

I think it would be more productive to explain why he shouldn't hide under coats in the cloakroom and why there are consequences such as missing playtime if you do. I would also explain why he shouldn't lie and ignore instructions to sit outside the staff room.

The don't have to label his a 'naughty' for all the rest of the time at school. What you have is evidence that he can be naughty, so the 'never naughty' label is wrong. You are taking things to extremes if you see behaviour as either never or now/permanent. He is sometimes naughty. That is not necessarily a big deal.

And I agree it would help your DS if he learned that he does need to follow rules about important things like not hiding indoors when he is meant to be outdoors.

Deciding that because he has a sweet nature at other times, he should somehow be exempt from a fairly standard sanction (break an important rule during break and you forfeit the rest of that one break) is just not on. Even utterly out-of-character rule breaking still needs sanctioning.

It was an over reaction. I would have just told him to go out and play. I would have queried the coat hiding as it sometimes indicates a problem with other children hence the hiding. The teacher should have inquired further. Teachers are human and don't always get it right especially if there has been some mucking about and they have already been told.
I' m always telling kids to go out. I have explained that someone might have an accident and we wouldn't know. Now I reiterate an incident where a child who continually went inside when she was told not to had an accident and tripped. She fell onto something and split her head open. Luckily a Student teacher had been in the room nearby and heard her cry and he came and got me. Another TA had also arrived and we administered first aid until the ambulance arrived. It could have been a lot different if no one was around which is why they aren't supposed to be in. It was quite a deep head injury and bled a lot even the paramedics were surprised at what they found. It has made a good lesson to the other childre though they listen and ask questions afterwards. They all want to know who is was. They are nosey that way.
I would just remind him on Monday what he needs to do when he can't find his friend.