playdates - just a load of squabbling!

[LindzDelirium]

My DD 4.5 has had a series of friends over to play after school recently, and every single playdate has degenerated into squabbles and arguments - anyone else have this problem?

I tend to find we have this if we have an odd number of children.

Yep - my dd is 6.5 and it is a real pain ! If it's not her trying to make her friends play along to her predetermined agenda, getting upset when they don't want to, it'll be one of them having histrionics about something> I've had dramas with one being scared of cats (!) another not liking our house (?) and yet another who kept saying "I am the guest so I can do whatever I like !".

Playdates - I hate 'em !

I find that my DD can only play completely unsupervised with her friends in small bursts, so I tend to break playdates up a bit - i.e let them play for a while in the bedroom, then organise a snack, then send them to watch a quick bit of TV or out in the garden if the weather is ok, then I might suggest something specific like colouring in or making something, or playing dressing up, whatever. I also find that keeping them reasonably short helps, or have the other kid stay for tea then go home straight afterwards. I do find if they are just left to run amok then it does degenerate a bit. On the other hand, they are just kids, and have to learn to get along and sort out their own squabbles, so always intervening isn't necessarily a good thing and I do believe in the benefits of them just playing, using their imaginations etc. Squabbles are just part of the territory really. However I don't do more than one playdate a week (at the very most) as my DD gets tired, and tired = grumpy and cross in my experience.

I agree with Hulabay, even numbers are find, odd numbers end in fights.

/oh yes - three is the absolute pits ! never ever have 3 !

oooh, so hate playdates in general.... why do people do so many of them? it's all the fecking time at our school!

God yes.

The girls' ones end up them crying because they've fallen out about whatever game it is and the boys ones are generally DS in the garden playing starwars by himself with friend in the front room playing on computer. Getting alone fine.