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Primary education

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Original poster

Inappropriate teacher comment

51 replies

swilkinson · 13/01/2018 18:39

Hi there,

Wanted to make sure i’m not making a big deal out of something and also get some advice.

My daughter is in yr2 and has a new teacher. Her last teacher was absolutely brilliant so her new one would always have big shoes to fill.

All seemed ok, my daughter seems to have taken to her well. It’s been hard to form an opinion myself as I work Mon-Thurs so only see her on Fridays. She seems nice though it’s a shame that she doesn’t seem bothered about saying hi/ getting to know parents at all. Perhaps a bit shy however.

Anyway, my whole point to this is that another school Mum told me that the teacher told the children to be quiet and that if they weren’t her husband wouldn’t be happy????

I asked my daughter without putting words in her mouth and she confirmed it.

Anyone else find this a very strange/ inappropriate way to manage a class of6yr olds. Or any age?
I plan on speaking to her and the Head teacher but worried my point won’t be taken seriously. It feels like a really threatening comment and infers to me that she doesn’t have control over the class.

In addition to complaining, I would like to know her background (where she has taught previously) as wonder if she’s ready to handle a class on her own. Do you think they’ll give me this info?

Thanks in advance xxx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RavenWings · 13/01/2018 20:40

No wonder we have such problems recruiting teachers.

Yup. It's interesting that there's a new teacher midway through the year, isn't it...

Any parent who wanted to see my CV would get a flat no, and probably be laughed at in the staffroom. I don't work for them, I work for my school - and by default the benefit of their children. It's not up to the parents to decide whether my classroom experience is good enough. I presume the OP isn't a teacher anyway, so I'm not sure how she feels qualified to judge.

Mumtofourandnomore · 13/01/2018 22:24

I think the OP asked a fair question, I don't understand why people are being nasty. I wouldn't ask the headteacher, and would treat it as a one-off at this stage, but if true, it does show a lack of discipline. Threatening repercussions from somebody 'in authority' is a poor method of gaining control.

However, if she's new to the school then she will have enough on her plate, give her a bit of time at this stage and see how it goes.

BarbarianMum · 13/01/2018 22:42

Unless her husband is the child catcher i don't see what the problem is.

AppleKatie · 13/01/2018 22:52

It is not your place to judge the teacher- especially not from your sub 5 min interactions with her on what 2 Fridays?

On the face of it does sound like an inappropriate comment. But it is just so odd I would assume it is not quite true/misinterpreted by 6 year olds. No teacher seriously said to a group of kids ‘my husband won’t be happy if you misbehave’. I mean why on earth would it work? If you can’t get them to respect you for you why on earth would you think they would respect your husband who they have never met?

Christmascardqueen · 14/01/2018 05:04

her husband wouldn't be happy because she would be coming home with a throbbing headache!!
would you be happier if she said be quiet or else i will have jaw clenching issues all weekend? or grade your papers (which i do at home in the evening) very very harshly?

Gaelach · 14/01/2018 05:36

I don't see any nasty comments, just posters who are baffled by how entitled you seem to be. You are not her employer. You think her comments are inappropriate, but your daughter seems to like her. It's a non-issue.

I've taught P2 (y1 equivalent) for more than 6 years and it still surprises me the silly and throw-away comments that children remember. I once got paint on my top and jokingly said to the children "Uh-oh, it's only Monday and I've got my clothes all covered in paint, my mum is going to be so cross!" Cue one child crying because they thought I was going to get in trouble when I went home and another parent coming in 3 weeks later to tell me their child had developed anxiety over getting their clothes dirty. Teachers can't win. And it's 'craic-police' parents who run straight to the principal to complain about non-issues such as this that 1) make you the talk of the staff room and 2) bring down morale even lower than it already is. Lighten up. She said something you think is a bit iffy but it's hardly a safeguarding issue, and certainly not enough to make you question her ability to teach.

princesssparkle1 · 14/01/2018 06:00

Check out LinkedIn

Don't go to the head

Spend more time getting to know the class teacher before jumping to conclusions based on Y2 kids tittle tattle.

earlylifecrisis · 14/01/2018 06:35

Your daughter is 6 or 7 - she and we friends could very easily have misunderstood or misinterpreted this.

You are very very wrong to question whether she can manage a class based on this and the fact she doesn't want to be matey with you on a Friday- she has been employed as a professional and would have had an interview where her qualifications and suitability would have been checked out by a senior team.

No wonder people don't want to teach with this kind of crap.

Pengggwn · 14/01/2018 06:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timeforheroes · 14/01/2018 06:58

If you really are concerned about the comment I suggest you speak to the teacher in question first, ask of the context and what she actually meant. Not sure why you would think it would need to be taken higher. ‘IF’ she did make the comment then yes, it would be a bit of an odd thing to say, but not exactly misconduct is it?

Secondly, the fact you think you’re somehow privy to her CV is weird. I’m not sure what you do for a living OP but would you feel comfortable if a client/customer or even colleague questioned your working history and qualifications?
As a teacher and Head of Dept, I’ve had parents come in and question teacher capability, sometimes with genuine and valid concerns, most times though it’s because of something totally out of context or even made up (not suggesting your DD is lying before that’s accused), or a parent thinking they know better.

Norestformrz · 14/01/2018 07:03

If the teacher did say it do you seriously think she will remember a throw away comment she made at some point last week? Can you recall every word you said yesterday?

Nicae · 14/01/2018 07:10

Oh for goodness sake. Of course you don't go to the head and why on earth would her employment history tell you? If she is an NQT, she's still qualified to teach her own class. I was a teacher (secondary) for 12 years until I had my children and you do say silly things sometimes, let's face it you are talking unscripted to an audience for 6 hours a day, who would want every word scrutinised?

9toenails · 14/01/2018 09:49

swilkinson:

Wanted to make sure i’m not making a big deal out of something

No, you're not making a big deal out of something; you're making a big deal out of nothing.

To be clear, your attitude to your child's teacher is about as foolish as it's possible to be. That teacher is an educated and trained professional; your default attitude towards her should be one of respect and gratitude, not the disdain you show.

Of course not all educational professionals are to be blindly trusted; there will always be the occasional rotten apple in any collection of barrels. You have no reason for genuine suspicion, however, so the default should be maintained. (In case it isn't clear, this is for your child's benefit; it's quite obviously the only sensible option for you, all things considered.)

I would like to know her background (where she has taught previously) as wonder if she’s ready to handle a class on her own

--You really have no idea how simply daft such a comment shows you to be? Not even on reflection? Words fail ...

simonisnotme · 14/01/2018 15:59

you are joking arn't you ?
you think shes a bit shy because she doesn't talk to you much
wanting to know her background !
if she is ready to have a class on her own !
it doesnt matter if shes an NQT or more experienced teacher you have no 'right' to know her background etc

CharlotteC77 · 14/01/2018 20:34

The OP asked for some advice on a situation and the simple answer seems to be: yes, it's a bit odd but you don't know the context so let it go and definitely don't go to the Head.

Which the OP says she has taken on board. I don't get why everyone is being so mean about her asking for this advice. Isn't this the point of a chat forum?

9toenails · 16/01/2018 18:16

CharlotteC77:
I don't get why everyone is being so mean about [OP] asking for this advice.

I take your point, in a way. (I suppose I was one of those being 'mean' in the way you describe.) I thought about this before posting. It did seem to me, though, that the OP's attitude towards the teacher of her child was so out of order - and of a part with some general contemporary views about the status of public servants - that it would be worth making the point plain.

The large point is about how we view professional public servants; OP, bringing up the matter in the way she did, showed herself to share a view that is as damaging to the public good as it is untenable. This was an appropriate occasion to remark on the damage done by the promulgation of such views -- or so it still seems to me. Yes, this is a chat forum; remember also that it is public.

Bowerbird5 · 17/01/2018 02:50

Perhaps she was making a joke but your daughter hasn't understood it. As well as teaching we sometimes make jokes with the kids as it makes us human.It sounds like an "in" joke with the class. Perhaps she has told them an anecdote about home and this is a follow on comment.

Really? You would go to the Headteacher about this without asking her.
As for asking about her CV 😳 she will have been short listed and possibly had two interviews. In one of the interviews she will have had to teach a class for a given time and may have been given the topic too. She also will have been interviewed at length by Senior Management and Governors. Do you really think they are not capable of choosing someone suitable?
As for the end of the day in Yr2 she will be standing checking each child is going home with the correct parent/ grandparent/ carer and cannot take her eyes off the children to make small talk with parents. It is a nightmare until you mentally match everyone up especially as like yourself some parents have other people picking up. Then there is little Thomas who mum has just left dad and says dad is not allowed access so must not take him home. Mum is actually late picking up every day so every day you need to make sure Thomas doesn't wander off because then you panic and as dad actually has parental rights it makes a tricky situation if he does turn up. She might also need to tell a parent their child bumped their head at lunchtime play. All these things are going through your head believe me. If you want to speak with her then wait till the children are given out and go and introduce yourself don't keep her too long as it is Friday and she will have marking and a classroom to tidy and possibly set up for Monday.
By the way we have an NQT at our school and she is a fantastic little teacher!

RaspberryIce · 17/01/2018 08:23

Did the teacher clarify why she said it op?

dutysuite · 17/01/2018 14:35

If my child came home and told me this I would assume they'd misunderstood something the teacher had said and would forget all about it. I would not embarrass myself by querying it with the Head. I also don't understand why you need to know her background, she would have gone all through that during her interview for the job she is employed to do! Not your role.

ScipioAfricanus · 17/01/2018 16:24

Barbarian

I could imagine saying something to one of my classes about my husband in some cases. When he was just my fiancé one of my classes started a long conversation amongst themselves about where they’d seen him and what he looked like (they got onto this topic of conversation fr something completely irrelevant and had brought it up themselves). Likelihood is that there was some in-joke or of the moment relevance if you were in the room so best to ignore it unless the husband as threatening enforcer becomes a recurrent theme.

But I agree with other posters - there is a terrifying amount of criticism levelled at teachers for the tiniest of things and a sense that on the one hand, we should care with all our heart and soul and energy about every child every minute every day of our existence but on the other, we should be perfect robotic humourless characters with no quirks or (heaven forbid) failings at all.

CharlotteC77 · 17/01/2018 17:32

I wholeheartedly take my hat off to all teachers - you do an amazing job!

But everyone here is projecting this 'anti-teachers attitude' onto the OP when her post is quite inoffensive in itself - she is simply asking for advice. We all know that your kids going to school is an emotive subject, we all want the best for our kids - and we are all slightly misguided sometimes in the face of that. Most importantly, the OP says she has taken all the advice on board - and yet everyone is still firing back at her. I don't get the need to be nasty.

Parents get it wrong sometimes, teachers get it wrong sometimes, everyone gets it wrong sometimes. Hats off to the OP for asking for a second opinion in the first place - and then taking the advice!

ScipioAfricanus · 17/01/2018 17:46

Yes, fair play to OP, but she had stayed in her post that she thought she might request to know the teacher’s background of education and training and experience so far - I’m not projecting an anti-teacher attitude on her by suggesting that this approach seems to arise from a general lack of respect for and trust in teachers as hardworking professionals. I think the advice offered has been for the most part civil rather than nasty, though I do commend the OP for taking it on board and not just wanting her initial feelings confirmed (which is very hard not to do).

AmIthatbloodycold · 17/01/2018 18:53

No-one has been either mean or nasty.

FitBitFanClub · 17/01/2018 20:17

No one has been mean or nasty but teachers (if any of these defensive responses come from the profession) are justifiably sensitive to people doubting their professionalism on the flimsiest of excuses.

"In addition to complaining, I would like to know her background (where she has taught previously) as wonder if she’s ready to handle a class on her own. Do you think they’ll give me this info?"

No they bloody well won't and why on earth do you think you have a right to that information?

fluffypenguinbelly · 21/01/2018 14:58

"In addition to complaining, I would like to know her background (where she has taught previously) as wonder if she’s ready to handle a class on her own. Do you think they’ll give me this info?"

This comment is why people are being 'mean'. Possible because it is the single most ridiculous thing I have ever read on Mumsnet. Who the actual fuck do you think you are? What are you going to do do if you deem her CV unacceptable anyway? Remove your daughter from the school? Grab your pitchfork and torch and march on the school demanding she is sacked? I'm mean, words fail me.

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