Social Media Yr6

[Lifechallenges]

With all the recent BBC reports, chatting to parents at kids activities and a friend today with a Yr6 child I am trying to get my head round what is normal now for 10/11 year olds? My eldest is only 8 but time will fly past and she's already obsessed with phones and wanting her own. At our school they all seem to get phones / snap chat / instagram and whats app in Yr6. -- is that the norm? I did an NSPCC workshop that was a real eye opener... can anyone share thoughts?

My DD is 13 and I saw a divide in year 6 with those who were allowed on Social Media and those who weren't. It was about 50-50 split.

Mine was primed....she wasn't allowed on sm until year 7 but when she did, she understood each app and what they did.

She was told not to upload millions of selfies or say anything mean...and why.

I discussed cyber bullying and how it's actually a criminal offence.

She's fine....also, you will need all passwords.

My ds is yr5, and some of his friends have their own phones and social media account. Ds wanted to watch his class mate's youtube uploads, and I was quite shocked that their parents allow them to do that.

We had a talk with our ds, that we won't allow any until he is at least in secondary. Can't see the need.

I think best to avoid it for as long as possible and also why do children need phones - unless there is some massive pressing reason.

Social media is a massive time waster.

So much of it is about trying to get people addicted to posting so they design it so you can never leave.

I think I would want my children to know just how the data works and just what they may give up in terms of their own privacy before they post.

Massive massive time waster at best.

At its worst addictive and promotes negative behaviours l.

My y6 has Snapchat, Instagram and musically but is all set to private and knows I check it all regularly and is VERY open with me about it all. Some of the things she shows me that others have posted make me think not many of her friends' parents check theirs though.

My Yr7 shows no interest in most of it, except YouTube which we have to ration! My Yr6 is desperate for SM - we allow Music.ly on a private account but I have said no to Snapchat since I don't understand it at all and so cannot monitor it efficiently. Instagram - she uses to follow others but I also check that regularly and she has to be followed by me, her dad and her aunties!

I think there is a danger of 'forbidden fruit' and banning it altogether seems to make it more attractive. My Yr6 doesn't have a phone but does have an iPad so can only connect at home or where there is WiFi.

It’s not just Facebook and snapchat. Apps like musically, chat roulette etc. Make sure they know what is and isn’t acceptable for them to both post and receive.

A school near me has just uncovered lots of their year 6 children being actively groomed through Facebook. Parents had no idea. It is fucking terrifying.

I have YR6 DD - loads of her friends got smartphones for Christmas and she feels left out when they message each other, etc. I’m putting it off for a few more months - she is going to get an old smartphone when she starts YR7 and I will be monitoring heavily! There has been social media bullying in her school already since YR5.

I think most children (who haven't had them earlier) get smartphones in Year 6, as they get them for 11th birthday presents in preparation for secondary school.

For my DC not having access to WhatsApp/Snapchat/Musicaly would massively curtail their social lives - so much of them is conducted via social media. At Year 6 level it's easy to keep tabs on who they add and what they use though - much harder as they get older.

As well as the social element, the school realy expects them to have a phone/ready access to internet - so much homework is set online; they regularly use apps in class and take photos of the board using their phones.

We had said DC1 would get a smartphone in Y6 in preparation for Y7 and independence.

But...

First we started with an old smartphone without a SIM and without any SM accounts, for playing on, and to get used to taking care of a phone. And then another phone, when the first one went down the toilet. He used it 50% for Pokemon Go and 50% for Fifa Mobile, before leaving it lying around and smashing it beyond repair by standing on it.

So we've changed our minds. Absolutely he'll have a dumbphone so he can be given other independence, but there's no way I'm letting an 11yo have free access to messaging apps, or spending £££ on a smartphone and data plan.

As pps have said, you simply can't monitor it, particularly the apps which don't store messages so if you don't see it in the moment you can't ever see it.

They've had a lot of coaching about it at school (after previous problems in earlier, older years) and at the moment he's baffled that anyone would want to send anyone else unkind messages. May he always be so innocent.

From when my DS first knew other kids in his class had phones ( early adopters were aged 8 and had older siblings), we made it very clear that he was not having a phone til he went to secondary school. That's when he would need to send a text or actually use it as a phone as he would travel independently to school. He's Y6 now and we have stuck to it. I think there is a big correlation between kids with parents who are stuck to their phones and busy updating their status all the time on Facebook Instagram and the kids who use a lot of social media. Yes, here I am on mumsnet, but I only use FB to look at feeds from school, work, and other local info. I rarely post, and never put personal photos online. I asked my DS if he would be happy with me posting his photo online, and he was adamant, no. Thankfully at the moment he sees it as a big waste of time. It seems to be different with girls though, but OP by being savvy and laying down ground rules and talking about it now, you are taking a very sensible approach.

Dd (13) got phone in year 5 (not smartphone). Used old iphone 4 in year 7. Only in year 8 when she bought own iphone has she begun doing more in internet.

Fairly sensible use- aware of sexting etc from unplanned conversations on a regular basis when see news or discussions arise within family.

If you make it an issue, avoid it I think it generates more interest.

Bit like banning chocolate 😉

I held off until 12/13, and have not allowed Snapchat yet for youngest although sometimes I think it is nonsensical because at the moment she would only want to send nice arty landscape pictures. We have a family social media policy they have to sign up to as well which sounds really strict but it also includes light-hearted stuff and stuff that raises their awareness of some of what might be problematic on social media. Like ' I will not lose sight of my own personal values or become image obsessed' ' I will make sure i would be happy to justify and stand by any pictures or messages I send if called into the headteacher's office to do so,' And we reserve the right to review their social media contacts messages and internet history, infrequently done in practice.

Its interesting as I looked up some apps on shareaware again today and even stuff like music-Ly has an age 13+ policy as random people can make contact with you. Bit like games with embedded chat functions. By sheer coincidence several local FB I am on have had similar threads this week about bullying and snap chat etc.
At our school apparently yes they all get phones for 11th birthday ! The summer borns feel very left out. I know there was issues last year about nasty stuff being said on a yrsix WA group... lots to think about

I guess the recent FB will be due to people's DC getting them for Xmas or friends getting phones and not them!

Mine had social media from Y7 but soon had to leave it as it wasn't working out for her. Unless they are emotionally mature enough, there's no point really.
The other 2 are grown up and were teens pre sm.
At 14 mine now uses it to post what she is doing and uses it for networking, nothing social really.

We are a fairly city location and yr6 tend to walk to school alone etc to prep for secondary. I suspect it varies by area as to what is the norm. I'm going to ask a few more Yr6 parents

We are in a city too. Most Y6 children including my DD walk alone and most text or call parents to say they have arrived safely.

DD has a phone. She has no social media at all apart from Allo (which is a Google messaging app) that she has literally five contacts on and two of them are me and DH. The other two are her two closest friends who actually have Apple phones but have installed the Google app so they can talk to her. I don't think Instagram or the Musical.ly thing or any other social media are remotely appropriate for a ten or eleven year old. Snapchat is a massive no no for me. I can't understand why anyone would let their kids on this kind of thing while they still have a choice, tbh.

I was only very recently made aware that snap chat is seen as a big no no due to bullying etc. I wouldn't have realised myself. Interestingly I wonder if it will all be cyclical and kids start moving away from it again in time. I was with a bunch of my DC friends today and took a pic of them. One of them asked me not to post it on Facebook or anywhere - she was 7 and already very aware !

I have a y6 and a y5. Y6 lives with exP and he has an old iPhone 4. No apps on it at all - it’s too old to support them! He is allowed (by ex) to text one or two friends from school and he has a couple of numbers of friends from his old school here. He rarely bothers as they rarely reply. We will be sticking to official SM ages whether he likes it or not! He has ASD and is more vulnerable to the pitfalls than his peers IMO.
DS2 has an iPhone 5c that PIL handed down to him. He uses it to text me once he’s walked round to school from my work and sometimes to call me when he gets out if I’m not in his playground yet (I collect his younger brother first). He has a couple of games like word cookies but doesn’t bother with anything else. Again, like it or not he won’t be allowed SM until the official minimum ages.

Both phones are locked down with passwords they don’t know so they can’t download anything. We have regular chats with them about online safety and so on. Luckily neither are all that interested yet. They only have the phones due to wanting to text each other now they live apart.

I heard a little girl - maybe 5 or 6 - asking for one on Santa's knee.

The minimum age for most apps, eg, Snapchat, WhatsApp is 13+.

I have said no to social media for dd2 who's in year 7, and although some of her peers have it, some without parents knowing she's accepted the rule and sticking with the 13+ rule. As a compromise she has unlimited texting & can texts her friends without all the selfie crap. It helps that one of her friends has the same rule. Go with your instincts rather than pressure I say.

I'm wondering if it's a regional thing. As I said upthread, my y6 DD has social media on her phone. You're definitely in the minority NOT to have any social media around here. I'd say she has around 75% of her year group on either Snapchat, Instagram and/or musically. She used it responsibly and, as I said, is very open with me