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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Would you see the teacher about this or is it my knackeredness making me annoyed?

28 replies

Pancakeflipper · 20/12/2017 15:44

My 9 yr old child is autistic. He's high functioning and school is a stressful place for him.

He cannot sit on a school chair. He would rather stand up or sit on the table.
I bought him a 'wobble cushion', It's rubber inflated thing with bobbles on. Looks uncomfy but he likes it and he's sitting on a chair at the table. Yahooooo.
We've only had it at school since last week. It works for him. He is sitting ( and working!).

Today the boy sat next to him removed it, hid it from my son and didn't hand it back when my son asked where was it. There are some issues between my son and this boy.
The other boy stamped on it, jumped up and down on it and broke it.
My son told the teacher who said she would deal with it.

Teacher never mentioned anything when I collected my son. I don't expect to hear how they are dealing with the other child. But would expect them to mention it is broken and my son now doesn't have something to sit on.. I guess I have to get a replacement ( grrr).

I am a bit annoyed. But I am very tired from lack of sleep so that could colour my usual reasonable attitude.

Would you speak to the teacher? Or let this one go?

OP posts:

Tinselistacky · 20/12/2017 15:46

Speak to the teacher of course!

letsdolunch321 · 20/12/2017 15:47

Speak to the teacher. The child that broke the chair needs to apologise and explain why he felt the need to break an item that did not belong to him.

The head should also be involved in getting a replacememt from the childs patents. Little shit !!

Wait4nothing · 20/12/2017 15:48

As a teacher, this is definitely one to talk to the teacher about. Hopefully they were talking to the other child’s parents to sort out a replacement (or will use school findbif this is not possible).

Wait4nothing · 20/12/2017 15:49

Fund

BenLui · 20/12/2017 15:50

Of course I’d speak to the teacher! I’d expect the other boy to be moved seats and his parents to reimburse the cost of the cushion.

gybegirl · 20/12/2017 15:51

Yes definitely speak to the teacher. I personally would expect the other child's parents to pay for a new one (but maybe that because I would if I was the other parent).

Those cushions are really good. There are also big rubber band things that you can put around the chair's front legs which he may like the sensation of (he can swing his legs onto them).

WhatchaMaCalllit · 20/12/2017 15:52

Yes, speak to the teacher about this.
There are two things that need to be addressed - the replacement bobble cushion for your son (so that he can be an active participant in class and this helps in that) and the other pupil picking on your son, taking his stuff and breaking it.
Both need to be addressed.

NoSquirrels · 20/12/2017 15:53

Of course speak to the teacher!

You shouldn't be out of pocket for the replacement - it was broken deliberately by the other child, according to your DS.

Don't let it go. Your DS presumably copes with enough, and bullying behaviour and breaking things which make his life (and the teacher's) life harder is Not On.

RavenWings · 20/12/2017 15:54

Talk to the teacher. It's very possible though that they just forgot in the moment - this is a hectic time of year!

MiaowTheCat · 20/12/2017 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PugwallsSummer · 20/12/2017 15:59

You should't have to be speaking to the teacher as they should have approached you about it. I'm cross on your behalf!

Definitely speak to the teacher, and I would be suggesting that school replace the broken seating aid. It is, after all, in their interest that he has it, if it means he is able to sit at his desk and engage with his work - perhaps this is something the SEND budget, or his EHCP could cover?

gybegirl · 20/12/2017 15:59

Miaow. Good call on the resistance bands!

noblegiraffe · 20/12/2017 16:03

Teacher possibly forgot as most are running on empty at this time of the year. Definitely ask them tomorrow about it. The school should have a budget for things like wobble cushions so ask if the school can replace it, and that the child who broke it is sanctioned and moved away from your DS.

blackdoggotmytongue · 20/12/2017 16:09

School always provided ours. Why are you buying them?
We are mid IEP/IPP reviews at the mo, so I would definitely be ensuring that it is raised, and that school are responsible for the provision.

(Ds1 once pulled the stopper out of his in the classroom - because he was fidgeting with it - the teacher said the look on his face was priceless as it deflated. She left it until the end of the class and then asked him to take it to the gym and pump it back up.)

Original poster

Pancakeflipper · 20/12/2017 16:42

Thank you to those who responded. Some valid points. I am taking them on board.
You are right I should mention it.

And going to try out the resistance bands round the chair legs ( if not for my son - for me as that sounds fun).

BlackDog - it's taken us 4 yrs for a diagnosis (long boring frustrating story) and I think I am beginning to realise that the school SENCO team and SLT team are not supporting my son.

E.g The head teacher complained to me about my son sitting on an desk and it not being appropriate. They never suggested something like a wobble cushion. I googled it and bought it.

It is like they have never had a child with Autism in their school (and they do).

They are reluctant to do a EHCP. I think I will try and find a support group who can tell me what our 'rights' are as the school told me no support for him as no resources.

And BlackDog - love the deflating cushion story.

OP posts:

Greensky89 · 20/12/2017 16:49

I would be furious but I'm very tired too. On my not so tired days I would definitely speak to teacher and also ask her to inform you on any such indecents in future.

MiaowTheCat · 20/12/2017 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Pancakeflipper · 20/12/2017 16:58

Duct tape! Brilliant. God this place is full of geniuses...

I am so trying the resistance band thing for me!

OP posts:

Sirzy · 21/12/2017 07:06

I agree with others that you need to talk to the teacher. Ds uses a wobble cushion amongst other aids in the classroom and when he isn’t using them they are kept safe to stop other children “playing” with them.

Also worth seeing if you can get a referral to OT. If you can and then they can come into school that may help get things in place

MiaowTheCat · 21/12/2017 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

parrotonmyshoulder · 21/12/2017 07:44

Hope you get a replacement.
I buy my class ones (yes, myself, with my own money) when they’re in Lidl. They’re really good quality and I can keep spares for emergencies!

Chilver · 21/12/2017 07:47

How times have changed (for the better!) - this brings back memories of me at school, probably equivalent of year 1 (in another country) and the 'boisterous' child being TIED to their chair during every lesson to stop them fidgetting.....

I'm glad that, in some schools, measures are taken to support children and not ostracize them for not fitting 'the norm'

Miloarmadillo2 · 21/12/2017 07:48

Try your council website's local offer - they have to provide a SEN support service, it's often contracted out to a charity. They should be able to advise on the support you can expect and help you fight for it.

Whinberry · 21/12/2017 10:16

I second the suggestion of an OT referral. We got various bits from them for school. We also have a wobble cushion at home. One thing I didn't initially realise about them is that are used hardly inflated - we inflated ours too much to begin with.

SuburbanRhonda · 21/12/2017 10:22

They are reluctant to do a EHCP. I think I will try and find a support group who can tell me what our 'rights' are as the school told me no support for him as no resources.

I’m pretty sure you can apply for an ECHP yourself, OP, but you ought want to post on the SEN boards to find out how. And we have an organisation called “Partnership with Parents” in our LA which supports families in your position.

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