Would you educate a bright child privately?

[songbird84]

We live in the catchment of a good school.

The school itself is in an affluent area - many of the parents who could afford to educate their kids privately don’t and send their children to the local state primary it really is very good.

2 things have worried me (that I’m aware of)

Firstly serious bullying incidents that went on for over a year concerning 2 children in the same class. It now turns out that the teacher responsible for that class and those children tried to deal with the matter internally within her class. Senior Management have found out after a full academic year and now the Heads are involved as is the school liaison officer. I believe this teacher made a big mistake not going to senior management immediately. My DC wasn’t bullied but was in the same class and saw the bullying which was emotional and physical. It has impacted my DC. Now this bullying is being dealt with - behavioural plans are in place and support for the children and parents.

Secondly and perhaps more minor somehow although my DC is in Year 1 realised what ‘set’ they were in for Maths. My DC is generally bright but struggled with Maths and confidence. We have done some basic number bonds work at home and now DCs confidence in Maths has increased and the school is recognising DC ability. But it’s because we’ve been doing some basic maths work at home.

I guess I’m concerned that we are assisting in the teaching in order for our child’s ability to be recognised. We could afford private school. We have 2 DC but I’m against for various reasons private school. My DH was privately educated.

My DC should be exceeding in all areas at the end of Year 1. But I don’t really want to be (or have the time to be) doing lots of extra work at home. The extras we have done are just simple number bond games etc which have helped.

My thoughts to my DH are that even with private school we would still have to do work at home? We do general Home work now. Maths English Spellings And Reading.

Child is definitely bright and socially mature for age. So gets on well and has made good friends. It would mean doing the 7+ and I’m not keen.

Thoughts please.

Thanks @SueSueDonahue possibly a retired head.

We did go see one at nursery but we looked round to be told at the end that they were full. However they were pleased with my DC.

Must go see them. It’s such an investment and I’m generally happy with the school.

I will go see them as there are 2 prep schools but also 2 independent schools that are 7+ to 6th form.

Be a bit careful about through schools. 7-18. Children can get fed up with the constant diet! Changes in their personalities and interests, growing up and moving to a new school are milestones. Prep departments in through schools tend to teach for their own school and expect you to stay so you can find it difficult to move at 11 or 13. You become wedded to the school. Traditional preps have to compete and it keeps them on their toes if they need scholarships and good results for senior school places. They cannot be complacent.

What @haba said.

"Changes in their personalities and interests, growing up and moving to a new school are milestones. "

Err, nonsense. Junior and senior tend to be quite different schools, in different buildings etc. with significant external intake. Does a through school prevent growing up? On the other hand, children may avoid a lot of 11+ anxiety, depending on the school. Preps will tend to expend a lot of time on pre-exam drills which don't really achieve much in terms of furthering children's balanced education (hammering reasoning tests is a particularly good example).

My DH and his siblings went to the local ‘through’ independent school and it hasn’t impacted them. If anything they built a circle of friends for life - but you can do that at any school I know.

It’s a matter of going to see them all but reading everyone’s opinions and seeing how the teacher has picked up on things recently is making me think we’re ok at the State school. I am quite an anxious person so I just want to be careful and try to remain balanced.

I will though go and look for the 7+ exams at the preps and at the through schools. We have 2 through schools and 2 prep schools within a 10 min drive of where we live.

But another part of school that’s important to me is the sense of community, the fact my DC friends are on our door step. We can go to community events and they see their classmates etc.

There is a huge other side to State schooling other than just the educational aspect as with any school. I too have built up a good support network out of the school so I wouldn’t want to lose those friendships.

Our DC was at a local super-outstanding state. Looked very good on paper but the community turned out less desirable than we hoped which started to impact us directly, and our DC got quite bored in Y2. Passed 7+ and is def much happier in the new school. The indy is well ahead in some areas, maths in particular, much better extracurricurals. One downside apart from the fees of course is a bit more school off time. HTH.

@LondonMum8 can you expand on what was wrong with the community?

I’d definitely not move him for all the reasons you’ve articulated. Don’t be pressured by what others in your family do.

It’s a parents job IMO to help a child at home to understand basic Maths and English - I don’t know anyone who doesn’t do this, so I wouldn’t see it as a black mark against the school.

Thank you for your help. Of course we do help. In order to consolidate but just feel they got it so wrong on Maths ability.

@songbird84 Poor (impolite, downright s...d, minor harassment) behaviour of some of the children. According to my DC around 30% causing trouble in and out of class, one of the results being the teacher and the rest of the class spend time managing discipline instead of learning. Related might be the fact that some of the parents involved don't care. None of those issues exist in the selective private school.

Of course we do help. In order to consolidate but just feel they got it so wrong on Maths ability.
I think it is highly unlikely a state school sets for maths in year one; what they may do is seat children who are currently working at the same level together and differentiate the work accordingly.
At that age children can start the year as one of the most 'able' at maths but end up being middle range a few months later as others catch up, or overtake them.
I'm not sure what you are unhappy with, is it that for some reason you think he should be very able in maths but isn't showing exceptional ability?

Regarding the bullying, was this within the same child's class, so went on through reception year amongst four year olds?

My DC should be exceeding in all areas at the end of Year 1.

You lost me at this OP. He's a little kid, chill out!

But in answer to your question I think you've made your mind up already as you clearly don't like the state school. Private will have lots of advantages if you can afford it. So if that's your gut feeling then go with it, it's a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

Ali

Outside of London most private schools do have longer holidays but also longer days. A Prep day school will often finish at say, 4:30pm. A boarding Prep more like 5:30-6pm plus Saturday school. That will include the time for compulsory clubs though.

OP

I think the difference is that in a state school it's more common (provided the child isn't struggling) for extra work at home to be dictated by the parents whereas at some private schools the pressure will come from the school to maximise potential.

I would ignore your principles for disliking private schools and just go to visit it then choose the environment that would suit your daughter.

So, the bullying was not tackled properly by the teacher, but once senior management knew it was dealt with effectively. The teacher has correctly identified your child's difficulties with maths as confidence not ability, although not as quickly as you would have hoped. But now has responded and your child is getting what they need.

Not sure what the problem with this school is?

A friend of mine with a bright child recently approached a private school and told them how bright her daughter is.

They called her in for a test and she performed so well and they gave her a fully paid scholarship because her household income is less than £60k I think..

I recommend you to do the same (approach private schools) ... most of them have millions waiting to sponsor bright kids.

DS is at a private school in year 1 and his teachers have said he’s bright, I think he’s but just normally bright IYKWIM, not G&T or anything.
The main reason we chose a private school was class sizes, more one to one attention and a very friendly family atmosphere.
Our local State school is ofsted good but has no money (DH is a governor so I know this for a fact). It has 30+ in a class to 2 adults and they seem very into SATs etc.
Have you looked round them both? It’s important to be shown round by the HT or a teacher IMO, going to an open day is a completely different feel.