Has anyone changed schools and gone back on it?

[hiAdvicePlease]

I moved my ds from a brilliant school in September as his Dad was really unhappy with the other families at the school, the one we moved him to is in high demand in my area, it's in a more affluent part of my town, and very sought after.
I hate it, I hate everything about it.
I can't stop thinking about the quality of care and teaching he had at his old school and how lucky he was there.
He spent a month at this new place only knowing one child, who was getting really pissed of with ds being so dependent on him and started to be horrible to him, communication at the school is dire, there is no open door policy like at his old school, you have to request a conversation in this communication book, which never gets looked at in school and replies are rare, if you ask at the office you get fobbed off and told to write in the book. So ds was unhappy for a month, no one noticed and I couldn't tell them. In the end I was forceful at the office and they did listen but I cant let go of how long winded a process it was and how no one had there eye on a new starter to see he was alone so much.
His reading has gone backwards to how he read in about January, at his old school they read to the teacher or lsa 3 times a week, ds says he's read twice in the 5 weeks hes been there and I'm inclined to believe him because of how far back he's gone (although I am catching him up at home). The school are sending home these pink books that are just full of CVC words and he regressed to sounding them out again, I have put him on the Oxford level 4 which is very similar to what he was reading at his last school and he has just started reading the level 5 with support (at home).
At his old school they deliver the curriculum through play in year 1 and go to more formal measures in year 2 when the kids are older and more equipped to cope with it, this is what I would choose for ds if I could pick and choose.
I made such a big mistake moving him to appease his Dad. It's my fault and I feel really guilty and emotional about the whole thing. Ds has moved on and is used to the new school now, but I can't stop thinking about what a disservice I have done him. I'm not usually this emotional about things, I just feel so strongly he is not in the right place, and in the long term I just don't think he will do better there.

Hi OP, what did you decide to do in the end? I'm in exactly the same position with my DS, feel so stupid for moving him in the first place. His reading, writing and maths have all gone backwards and he's become the class clown. He has good friends at the new school but we can see them outside of school as they live close by and I know the one he's bonded with most is going to be moving soon anyway. He also just seems not quite himself but everyone keeps telling me that if he's going in fine and coming out happy then it must be fine.

It’s a difficult position to be in but I’d say stick it out for a bit longer and see how it goes.

you mentioned the new school is in high demand. Although you don’t feel it right now, there usually a reason why. It may not obvious immediately and probably more advantageous in later years. Furthermore, often when we do something against our wishes, in your case, you moved your DS because of your DH. There might be some bias toward what the new school don’t have rather than what they have. We often compare to what we know, rather than see what we never had. Loss is usually seems bigger than gain.

from what I can gather, the old school has a much kind environment and it’s not possible children there in a more disadvantaged background than your DS, such as can’t speak English. This usually gives kids a confidence boost as they are the more able one. Obviously he doesn’t have that in the new school. However in the long term, I think the new school provides more equal footing with his peers and provides the environment for him to learn and socialise more like the real world. As well as what you described the social aspect of play dates where you have easier time to speak with the parents. In the long run, I think it’s very important.

it also sounds like he likes the new school where he doesn’t want to go back but wants his old friend to join him. I would leave him in the new school and work on the social and understand better what’s their attraction for their demand. They would be doing something right to be the high demand school.

however, having said all the above, that’s my opinion and knowing only what you wrote. You would know the best for your DS and I would also say try to work out with you DH with any further move / stay, as it’s nothing worse than parents that are not on the same page and blaming each other what whatever is going wrong.

Well he'll be in year 9 now @WhatIsPink 😉

🤣🤣🤣 should have checked the dates! I hope all have worked out well.