Selective Mutism

[Plummer88]

Does anyone have any experience of helping a child with selective mutism?

My daughter is nearly 6 and in year one. We had parents evening tonight and her teacher is concerned that she doesn’t speak much - she has always been like this, not just since moving to year one. At home she is the most chatty bossy outgoing little thing ever but she shuts down when there is anyone else around.

Her teacher is worried now that it’s going to start holding her back with school work as a lot of it and assessments are done verbally - for example she is a really good reader and is ok reading to a teacher but she shuts doen and won’t speak when they try and see her comprehension and understand of the text. This is holding them back from moving her on because as far as they are aware she doesn’t understand what she has read.

She will answer a question if she can use one word but some days she needs lots of encouragement for that. She has some good friends at school but she doesn’t talk much to them either.

What should we do from here? I’ve always said she is selective mute but no one really listens.

Will she talk to you or another family member? If so the assessment can be done that way.

Yep she will talk quite happily to me, daddy and her big sister - keeping her quiet is the problem at home...! Hehe

I had selective mutism to a very big degree. I would guess that being gentle and sensitive is all that can help, especially anything to help your child feel more in control. Let him feel listened to rather than ever put into unknown situations if they may trigger anxiety.
I wonder if mine originally stemmed from being put into nursery when I didn’t feel safe there, and I carried on feeling severely anxious and didn’t speak for years. I don’t blame my parents at all as they were really normal circumstances and some children are just hyper sensitive (which must be listened to and never coerced ) .
I think DS could even have been similar but I was so sensitive to his anxiety I always talk to him a lot so nothing unpredicatable happens and if I’m leaving him in a new environment I wait for him to tell me he’s ready and that I can go. He never been totally silent the way I was though, just withdrawn in his earlier years and his confidence is coming now aged 7

There is a selective mute at my dds drama group and she's made amazing progress.

My dd is 7 years old (year 2) and has SM. She was diagnosed at nursery after I pushed and pushed - everyone just said she was shy.
Speech and language have been involved but just to issue school with guidance. We do the sliding in programme, which is slow going but we are seeming small improvements.
The school also have the educational psychologist involved - they don't see dd direct but again offer advice. On the EP suggestion dd has had mindfulness sessions at school and the TA is doing home visits.

DD has never read aloud at school, she doesn't do any of the spoken assessments and failed her phonics test as she was given the chance but obviously didn't answer the questions.
Some of that we can work round at home - she brings assessments home and we read lots.

If you are facebook the smira group is really good.

My DD is in Year 7. SALT can't help because she's too old and because her speech is normal at home. CAMHS was a rubbish initial meeting then no more contact from them. I think your options are:
-You or school refer to SALT- they may be able to help
-push gp for lead referral or school for Ed psych referral
-Buy Maggie Johnson's Selective Mutism manual and see if school could implement the strategies
-private therapy which would be expensive

My personal feeling is that it's pot luck where you live and whether or not there are people in your LEA who understand the condition. We have had minimal help. It's distressing to see her struggling socially with no support.

Paed referral not lead referral

When I worked in a nursery we had a lovely girl who was selectively mute. We asked mum to tell us what her interests were and which of the staff she liked the best. We then ensured there were always activities out that were themed to her interects and as much as possible her preferred staff member - me - was around for her. I would play with activities she showed an interest in to allow her to access them if other children were playing and I did a lot of talking myself but didn't pressure her. I used to say what I liked about the activity,make comments about things etc. I also used to make mistakes to show it was OK not to succeed all the time. My best day ever working there was some months later when she told me off from the other end of the room because I said I was going to dress up and she said the clothes were too small. She is the little girl I will always remember....

@user789653241

My ds was selective mute all way through nursery and beginning of reception. While at nursery, we were referred to SLT and class for children with social communication difficulty.

I think my ds's reception teacher had difficulty assessing him first, because he didn't say much. But somehow he was fine soon enough. The teacher was very experienced and extremely patient. We had daily communication via home-school link book.

I only know my ds's case, but I really couldn't do much as a parent. I just took any offer for help.

He is 9 now, and I cannot believes he used to be a selective mute.

Hello sorry I'm jumping on a old post, my daughter seems to have selective mutism in school, and I was wondering if you can give any advice, how did your little one over come? Megan

@Megwest5 look at the SMIRA Facebook group -
It’s full of useful info