Reception problems - advice needed please!

[RoboticMary]

Any help or advice would be welcome – I'm feeling so miserable about this. DD (4, summer-born) is having problems in reception and the class teacher seems unwilling to help me resolve them.

Last year she attended nursery (attached to the school) - it took her a little while to settle in and get used to the routine, and she didn't like me leaving her in the morning, but by the end of the year she was really enjoying herself and I thought she'd made great progress. She is quite solitary and independent, although she's friendly and plays nicely with other children.

She was really excited to start in Reception, but the class teacher has raised concerns. There seems to be a real disconnect between her behaviour at home and her behaviour in the classroom. She finds moving between different activities difficult – when she's playing in the playground and it's time to come in, she cries. When it's time to sit on the carpet at the beginning of the day, unless she's sitting with the TA she cries. It's the transitions between activities that she seems to find difficult.

Her teacher asked me what strategies I would use at home in these situations, but we genuinely don't have these problems at home and I don't really know how best to advise her. At home she might not want to tidy up, or put her coat on, but I am fairly strict and repeat my instructions, and she will do as she's asked without crying. The teacher seems to think of her as a problem, and keeps asking whether we'd consider another year in nursery for DD, and asking for my suggestions. I didn't consider another year of nursery for her, as she's physically and mentally ready - she has no problems getting dressed, for example, and wants to start learning her phonics and numbers. I think she just needs a little time to adjust. I do appreciate that it's difficult for the teacher, especially when there are only two adults in the class, but she seems unwilling to give DD any time or leeway to adapt to the routine and just wants to be rid of her.

I'd like to meet next week and discuss how to help DD going forward, but the teacher seems so unwilling. Does anyone have any thoughts/ideas?

She's only 4! What does she mean strategies, the poor child is finding her feet.
She seems very young alright, if it's an option to leave her in nursery for another year then I would look seriously at that option because it will be hard to do it in a few years. 4 is very very young.

Yes I would definitely consider another year at nursery if there is a chance to.

I'd always take the extra year at nursery if it's an option.

It does sound like immaturity rather than a particular issue to me.

It will be different at home because if you're dealing with one child (or even three!) then you know well enough to judge whether it's a case of jolly along, bribe or get cross in that particular situation, and whether you can take the time to find out the problem, or can put it off etc. When you have 30 and limited time, it has to be "this is what's happening now" and the child has to do it-ds had similar problems at school at first, and I think that was at least partially down to preschool expected very few things that had to be done now, only really tidy up at the end of the session.

I'm not a big fan in putting children back a year except with good reason, and this doesn't seem on it's own a good enough reason. However I think it's worth asking, and possibly pressing, if there's any other concerns that they haven't expressed.

Are you in England, as putting back a year isn't as simple as just liking the idea?

Also I wouldn't want my 4 year old being with someone who thought she was a problem all day, maybe next year you will get a different teacher.
You have mentioned 'unwilling' a few times. I think the only options are to see if your daughter settles a bit or else send her to nursery for another year. I don't know what the teacher can do, there are 30+ in the classrooms here so things may be totally different where you are.

Good luck meeting the teacher.

Hi. As a teacher I would give your daughter a visual timetable with pictures showing what is happening during the day. Giving her a warning of when a transition is about to happen would also help. Speak to the teacher and ensure she becomes more proactive. Hope things work out

bit disappointing that the reception teacher sees her as a problem. She's 4, finding her feet. WTH does she expect as a reception teacher.

Agree prev poster re visual clues - I've seen that in DD reception a few yrs ago so its nothing new or fancy. Could she also get her to buddy up or use one of the older ones to help her. Its still early days yet. When DD in reception, there was 1 girl who cried every morning until about May! This year there are loads of kids getting upset every morning and nothing has changed, its the same teacher. Just different personalities.

Maybe your daughter just enjoys each activity and gets a bit of confidence to get involved and the next thing its all change to something else.