Giving up on DD learning

[user1475317873]

I am about to give up on DD learning. She is in year 2 and reading blue. With a lot of effort in year 1 we managed to get to blue; but it is a real struggle to get ther to read, lots of complaining. She is happy to read small words that she knows but does not want to sound out words she doesn' t know. It seems to be an attitude problem and I don't want to end up getting upset an shouting at her. I feel she is not ready.

I feel I should be happy she goes to school, leave the school to it and concentrate myself in other maternal responsibilities. She is just happy playing in the park and having fun. I feel she is not ready for year 2 and wish I could keep her one year behind.

Not sure if I was the same but my mum postponed me to start school until 7.5, I am not english. I ended doing very well and being top of the class and doing a good career. She said she didn't want me to start school before as I used to get very tired and wet the bed until I was 5

Well, you could ease off on formal learning at home, but still get her to do signs, recipes, film titles etc. But definitely reduce the stress of it. My dd was never keen on reading, diagnosed by opthamologist at age 13 with a visual processing difficulty - she can't track well across the page, or focus on a particular word on a crowded page. Makes sense as she is also affected by heights in a visual perceptual way.

Don't give up! Just refocus. At home it's probably better to focus on enjoyment, so keep reading to her and praise her for trying and for any positive reading. You don't want to make it a battle and a constant unpleasant conflict.

Are there any websites/games for practicing reading that she might prefer? "Teach your monster to read" is one that my DS enjoys.

Are there any other aspects of school that she enjoys and finds less of a struggle?

I agree, don't give up entirely just include learning into everyday life. My first dc's were born overseas so started school late, ds1&2 were 7 and now in the UK are very academic. Ds1 only lost three points overall in his yr6 sats and we have just been told at 11 he has the reading age of 15 years 7 months. Ds2 is also very keen at learning and top of his class. In contrast we were in the UK by the time dd1 began reception. She has little confidence and although she is able to do decent work her attitude to learning is quite negative. I wish I would have had the confidence and knowledge that I have now to keep her back from formal learning until she was in the right place for it.

Good luck with what ever you decide

Thank you. I certainly don't want to make it a battle which it is at the moment. It is stressful for me and her. I just want to enjoy life and let her be. She loves being in utdoor environments, she likes doing creative stuff. Her maths are not as bad. She has had speeech delay and has had speech therapy since 3.

Have to say, since this was diagnosed, there has been quite a turnaround.

Cross post. Then I think you are thinking along the right lines. Maybe the school can help with recognising this somehow?

I don't like them to fall behind and feel setting up good reading fundations is the basis for everything. But she really doesn't seem ready so I am going to stop doing the school books. I thought we made good progress in year 1 but we didn't do reading during the holidays and she has really gone backwards.

We are in the UK and she has good support at school. We will keep reading to her but will stop formal learning; there is no point. It is a shame that in the UK you have to move through the years whether you are ready or not as I think she will lose her confidense once she realised how far she is compared to her peers. She is December born so no the youngest one either.

I had problems with the school at the beginning as there were no blue books in her classroom which indicates everyone else is far ahead. I managed to get them to get some blue books for her classroom. I had a meeting with the SEN person next week to dicuss my concerns. School is doing everything they can so I will leave the learning to them. I am not an expert and don't want to make her misserable.

Husband just said she is a late starter and the school system in the UK doesn't suit her. She really just want to have fun and enjoy being a child. I will let her to it.

Thank you for your opinion/advice

Is she one of the younger ones for her year group?

She is not the youngest one. Her birthday is in December so probably one of the oldests one

I would really investigate the SEN angle OP, especially if she is a child who is willing / tries hard for you in general?

Thanks. I am having a meeting with SEN next week. She can work hard if she really wants and have the right attittude but when she doesn't want to is quite difficult as she complains a lot. I think she may have an issue, like dislexia as she shouldn't be that far behind considering how much we and the school did in year 1. She is making some progress but at a lower speed than her peers; but she started behind in reception.I am going to ask the school if they test her for dislexia otherwise we will have to do it ourselves.

Sounds very like my DD. She had zero interest in reading or anything academic in Reception and Y1. School just said she was a bright kid who was more interested in other things right now and when she was ready then she would catch up very fast.

Unfortunately this didn't happen in Y2, and her teacher came to see me in the Spring term and suggested that we have her tested for dyslexia once she turned 7.

She was formally tested by the Ed Psych when she started Y3 and diagnosis was v obvious. She has lots of extra help and school are conscious of the struggles she has and do as much as possible to make things easier (and reward the non-writing/reading stuff she does).

She's still not keen to read, but is now on decent chapter books and making headway.

I would get the school to help you having her assessed by an Ed Psych. It made a huge difference to DD having the diagnosis and realising that she wasn't stupid, she just learns in a different way and has to put in a bit more effort than some of her friends.