Help with misbehaving pupil

[notsureifimbeingur]

Hello, I am looking for advice on dealing with a pupil who is unconcerned with punishment or rewards for his behaviour, he just doesn't seem to care.

So he will start the day off by managing to bang into(on purpose) /hit, annoy other pupils, upsetting them. He will then mess about on the floor, often again hitting kicking them as he rolls on the floor. He will then throw items (pencils/rulers/rubbers) at them when he is at his isolated desk.
Basically he just cannot help himself annoying everyone around him.

So far I have tried, making sure he goes to the toilet alone as there was an issue of him hitting others in the toilets. He comes into class and I basically stand by him to monitor him getting changed, then he sits next to me in the carpet where I again monitor his hands and feet. He sits alone, and then when lining up, sits at his desk until all others are lined up and then joins me at the front or teaching assistant at the end of the line.

I have spoken to Mum, and she said 'time out' is being trialled at home, but to be honest I don't think she was being truthful.
She says removal of TV privileges doesn't work as child just finds something else to occupy himself with.
He is on a behaviour book with good and bad events written to go home daily, which has had little success. I have sent him for detention at lunches, I have kept him in myself at break.
I have said I will have to give him a buddy outside if he cannot behave.

I have asked why he does these behaviours, to be met with a shrug and silence.
I feel like anything I have tried, stickers, rewards/punishments/praise/disappointment voice/ table points, has had no effect as he just couldn't care less.

What else could I try? He was like this last year with his other teacher. I am 8 months pregnant and have 3 weeks to go and am at the end of my tether!
He told me today he really likes cars, so anything linked to that might help??

Sorry this was very long, please help!!

Sounds like the poor wee soul is in need of a strong role model in the sense to let him see how get "good" attention. Mum's distance could be down all sorts and anything from untreated post natal depression to being at her wits end and distancing herself from the situation. She perhaps needs support to see changes at home.

This is the right time to mould him and shape him for the good.

It might be wise to prepare him for your departure. That could be unsettling too if he's building a relationship and then you disappear. A promise that you'll visit to see how well he's doing.

Just had a thought OP. Asking why (although we've all done it) doesn't work. Perhaps asking 'what happened?' would give you some insights, along with 'how can we make it better?' Try not to shame him (I'm sure that you don't) and give him lots of practice to get it right.

Agree with bumbling, Ross Green ideas are well worth looking at.
As Must says, prepare him for your departure, if he doesn't already know. It might be better if TA carries out any proposed activities/interventions which can then be continued after you've left.
You might want to prepare your incoming colleague too, by jotting down your strategies.

A child like this at the school my children go to, would go to nurture group with the home school link person once a week, they'd also get to go to lego club one lunch time a week which is based around building social skills. If they weren't coping in the playground there is a quiet room where they pick a buddy each day and can play with a toy. They also get a chance to pick a buddy to play football with the sports coach instead of assembly. It's not a reward, it's all around building the social skills so they aren't seeking interaction in silly ways.
is there anything like that where you work - I think at 8 months pregnant you probably need a bit of support from those things outside the classroom.

Just wanted to update:

Am making moves to get Ed psych involved.

Today tried cars as a motivator as well as stickers, he collected 1 car for each sticker and got to play with them at the end of the day, he had a brilliant day! So happy for him that I think I have found what makes him tick! Thanks for all your help.

Brilliant! So glad if worked! You must keep it going though

How are things?

Not a teacher but surely the worst thing you can do with a small child who sounds like he needs to let off steam is to keep him in at break?

Just seen your update - glad you have found what made him tick :)

I read a lovely thing once written by an adult who had been a 'naughty' child. ~dashes off to see if google can help~

I couldn't find it but it was basically a child thanking a teacher for telling them they weren't bad and believing that they could do the right thing.

I did find this which was quite nice...

“ Teacher, I need you!

I know I am hard to handle, and I take everything you have. I know I push your buttons in all the right ways that make you second guess what you are doing. But I need you. I need you to keep pushing me. I need you to set limits and help me understand them.

I know you don’t know me. I know if you did, we would get a long a lot better. But, please, teacher, I need you to fight to get to know me. I can’t tell you with my words what I need you to know, so I might act out instead. Take that as my sign that I need you. You might be all I have.

I know you have 30 other kids in class. I know they need you too. But, teacher, I need you. I need you to find my good qualities because those other kids don’t see them. My teacher last year didn’t see them, and most days, if not all, I don’t even see them.

I know I throw fits. I know I disrupt your class and what you had on your agenda for the day. But teacher, I need you to believe in me. I need you to believe that my actions are a cry for help, not an act against you. Please don’t take it personally. I need you to believe that I want to fit in, but just don’t know how.

I know I make it hard, but please, I need you. I need you to see me. I need you to see beyond that behavior, that meltdown, that action and I need you to see the kid behind all the “thats”. You might be the only one that can get to the real me. It might take time, It might take patience. You know, it might even take learning about something you know nothing about. But, teacher, I need you! I need you to give it your all to see me.

I know you went into teaching to make a difference. I am here to tell you, I am that difference. I am the one that needs you! I promise, if you reach me, you will change my life. You will make a difference like no test can measure.

You might not see the difference today or tomorrow, but I promise, if you see that I need you, you will make a difference.

Please!

Read the thread with interest, noted down the website and the thrive thing and will check those out.
Out of interest do you think there is still chance with a much older child who has been like that since the beginning of school? Unfortunately he did not have a great start to school life and the infant school he attended would floor restrain him with 4 adults on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day. He is now a teen and school are at the point where they are removing him from lessons and he's having t accompany a teacher around because he's causing so much disruption.

It sounds like parental neglect at home. He needs attention and isn't getting it, poor little chap.
I don't know if you could get them to attend parenting classes?

We had a child of that age and very similar habits last year.He was extremely difficult to manage and had already been excluded from other schools.

We discovered that, above all, he needed to know he was liked and even though it was extremely difficult to be positive, we tried to find ways of speaking to him so that he didn't feel everyone was getting on his back. I won't say it was the answer to everything, because it wasn't, but it made a difference in how we were able to remove him from situations, or to at least get a little work out of him. He ended up on a reduced timetable, but was able to get a place in a school that deals with this type of behaviour.

New love...a child like that does need to let of steam, but if it involves hurting others while he is doing it, he needs keeping in.