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Primary education

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Original poster

Teaching assistant grabbing child's chin?

53 replies

Spud90 · 11/09/2017 16:51

Opinions please I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. I don't think I am but here goes.

It's my 6 year olds first week in year 2 and he's quite forgetful and he struggles to stay focused(i suspect he may be dyslexic). He forgot to put his reading book in the box to be changed so I nipped in after school to change it and the teaching assistant was in his classroom. I said we'd just come in to change his reading book because he'd forgot to put it in the box and she started telling him off for it. Quite stern "what did I say to everyone this morning? I told everyone to make sure they remembered to put their reading books in the box! Everyone managed to do it except you" She was around 4 inches away from his face and he was looking at his feet. She grabbed his chin and lifted his face up to look at her and kept hold of his chin while she carried on telling him off. "How am I supposed to change your reading book if you don't put it in the box!"

I was very uncomfortable but felt frozen to the spot. I feel like I should've said something. He looked terrified and it was quite intimidating. Is she allowed to do that? Will they take me seriously if I go speak to his headteacher? I'm 31 weeks pregnant so a little sensitive but it really bothered me.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

user789653241 · 12/09/2017 13:44

But the thing with these stories, we never know both sides of the story.

Marthasbox · 12/09/2017 13:45

Ex year 2 TA here. The only time I was already to touch a child in that manner was if they or another child was in danger and then you can move them from the area or restrain but only if absolutely necessary.

Not on at all. Year two are 6 and 7,they can forget and be ditsy.

Its hardly the crime of the century...

Correct response?

'oh littlespud where you not listening this morning when I told class to put their books in the box? Come on we will do it now but try and remember time.'

Marthasbox · 12/09/2017 13:49

Oh my God appalling grammar there, I have flu blurgh.
*allowed not already, were not where.
Were not was.

Damn you autocorrect

Crazycatsandkids · 12/09/2017 13:49

Well I would be taking mine out of a class where he was carried off for chatting.
Clearly our boundaries are different and thank goodness for responses from a teacher above that show this is completely unacceptable

ElizabethShaw · 12/09/2017 13:53

School staff absolutely can touch children, if it is appropriate and necessary.

Grabbing a child's face is never appropriate or necessary. Forcing eye contact is totally inappropriate IMO.

DancingLedge · 12/09/2017 13:55

Sorry, posted too soon,

leading, inevitably, to significant consequences.

Such things do go on in schools- seen this when I was a TA- I hate the lack of respect towards children
One of the explicit roles of a TA is modeling the behaviour you want to see in a school? I'd be saying to the Head ' I don't want my child being taught that laying hands on someone who's not doing what you want them to is in any way acceptable behaviour. Do you?'

user789653241 · 12/09/2017 13:57

Well, I'm from the country where his martial arts has originated from, and discipline is even stricter. It's no nonsense, chatting in class can be a dismissible offence. and I like it that way.
Obviously we are totally different.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuckKeidis · 12/09/2017 14:03

Some TAs can be like this, I've witnessed some quite rough handling of a boy with SEN.

Yvetteballs · 12/09/2017 14:03

She's not allowed to grab his chin whatever he's done. His concentration problems are a separate issue.
I don't think school should brush it under the carpet and I don't think he should be in a class with her.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 12/09/2017 14:08

Forcing eye contact is an incredibly aggressive act, especially to a person with ASD or similar. I know more than one child who would have had a melt-down if that had been done to them. That TA needs a bit of training OP and I would be putting your concerns in writing, cc-ing the governers.

BeatriceBeaudelaire · 12/09/2017 15:09

I don't think holding his chin to make sure he is comprehending the situation is wrong ... I do think being so dramatic and condemning of a mistake and getting so close to your child is vile bullying behaviour

blueberrybubble · 12/09/2017 15:38

This is making my blood boil, completely unacceptable. I'm astounded the head teacher would try and brush it under the carpet like that.

If that were a mistake an adult had made in the workplace it would be a sackable offence to grab a colleagues chin so why should it be acceptable in school. He's 6 for ffs!!!!!!!
I'd be concerned that if she was bold as fucking brass to do that in front of you what on earth is she doing when there's no one present.
I'd raise a formal complaint on this one and not let it drop.

Crazycatsandkids · 12/09/2017 15:47

Yep I probably wouldn't send the child to school myself if possible until this was investigated

MissEliza · 12/09/2017 16:22

Yes your ds made a mistake but so what? Kids forget stuff. She overreacted and no one should grab someone like that. It's intimidating. I'm a TA and there's no way I'd ever touch a child like that. As someone else has said some TAs don't speak to pupils with respect. I love working with kids but I'm 100% sure that some people only go for the jobs for the hours. I hate that.

JennyBlueWren · 12/09/2017 19:12

Some of my Y6s don't manage to remember to follow a simple instruction like that and would get off much more lightly.

There is no reason to be handling a child unless they have asked for comfort or there is a danger. (Or I have just thought you are correcting their pencil grip but that again would be with their consent.) If a child wasn't looking at me and I thought they should then I would say so rather than making them. And that is me as a teacher alone with a class not with parents present!

Yogagirl123 · 12/09/2017 19:28

My son is dyslexic and finds it difficult to follow instructions at times, it's completely unacceptable for anyone to do what was done to your little one. No wonder he doesn't want to go to school. Ask for him to see Educational Psychologist for assessment, unfortunately, some local authorities do not have the resource, as in our case, we paid for a private assessment, which wasn't cheap, £450, (around 7 years ago) but the report found DS to be severely dyslexic and school had to follow the recommendations and allow more time in tests and supply a reader and scribe etc. Definitely, don't be fobbed off by the school, for your child to learn he needs to be happy and feel safe at school. Good luck OP.

butterfly56 · 12/09/2017 20:00

Totally agree OP TA's behaviour completely unacceptable.

It's just a thought...have you had his hearing checked. My daughter had this problem in a noisy environment and it turned out she couldn't hear due to some hearing loss in one of her ears, but it was enough to cause her problems at school.

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 12/09/2017 20:44

Contact the LADO at county. It is actually a serious breach of safeguarding and it is punishable by dismissal and serious enough to be reported to the Teaching Agency as well as the Disclosing and Barring Service.

A similar incident was reported about someone I know. They were completely and utterly innocent but still, safeguarding team at county was involved at the request of the HT. That person now suffers terribly with their mental health due to the false allegation.

Copperbeech33 · 12/09/2017 21:39

He didn't want to go to school this morning, clung on to me and said he wanted to go back home. I held his hand to walk him across the playground and he dug his heels in.

what a ridiculous drama over being told off for something he had done wrong.

he's playing you.

Copperbeech33 · 12/09/2017 21:42

but the report found DS to be severely dyslexic and school had to follow the recommendations and allow more time in tests and supply a reader and scribe etc.

please be aware the school does not have to pay any attention at all to private assessments, and in fact many schools can't anyway as they are inundated with wild, unlikely and unprofessional assessments most years.

too many to even read, sometimes.

MissEliza · 12/09/2017 21:44

Banging is right. The head's response isn't good enough. You need to persist with this.

Crazycatsandkids · 13/09/2017 07:57

I'm amazed you sent him into school after that

Believeitornot · 13/09/2017 08:01

@irvineoneohone

If a TA has to physically grab a child by the chin, a 6 year old, then they have no respect in my eyes.

My ds was one of those kids - he forgot to change his books so needed constant reminding. If however a member of the teaching staff had done that to him, I would have got incredibly cross and would put it in writing to the school and would expect action.

How dare a TA be so aggressive?

user789653241 · 13/09/2017 08:19

Believe, if that's what really happened in front of my eyes, yes, I would be cross too.
It's just that I cannot believe any decent adults in education doing it in such an aggressive manner, right in front of child's parents.

user789653241 · 13/09/2017 09:01

In fact, if it happened exactly the way op describes, I would be marching into head's office right away, I think.

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