Positive school experiences please - starting school jitters

[pygmywarrior]

DS starts school next week. I feel so very sad about the end of the happiest time of my life, being with him. I have been trying hard to be positive about his new adventure but was floored by a friend (a primary school teacher) saying "now I have my own dd & know what goes on at schools I hate the thought of sending her & have seriously considered home schooling her". Can you share positive school/reception stories with me? We do like the school & know it will treat ds as an individual but there are so many unknowns making me anxious, it would be great to hear from happy parents/teachers with happy kids

I'm sure it will be absolutely fine. The worst thing you can possibly do is show that you are anxious as that will be picked up by your son. I have teenage children and they both went off happily to school (although my son said "it was good but I'm not going to go again" after his first day) He's got his GCSE this year and only missed 10 days his whole school life! I'm also a primary school teacher and will be welcoming new starters next week. I will do everything I possibly can to make sure it is a happy experience for them, as I'm sure other teachers will too. They will have fun filled busy days, make lifelong friends and experience so many new things. Embrace it and be excited for him X

Thank you so much for replying. I will absolutely be positive & excited in front of ds & as he will pick up on what I say i always talk about school in a positive happy way, whilst inside I feel so sad. I wasn't expecting to feel so down about it, am usually a positive person. It's just been such a very very happy 4.5 years it feels the end of an era. I want to get excited about the next era instead of dwelling.. thank you for your positive post

I I think it's totally natural to feel how you do ( I know I did). You'll feel the same as they head off on their first school trip, first week away from home and first overseas visit. I always try to stick to the motto "give them wings, let them fly" . Raising happy, confident children means sometimes we have to be good actors xx

Ds is just going into yr1. He can't wait to get back as he had a lovely year in reception and made lots of friends.
I had a little cry when he started reception as he's an only but was a great year for him and we look forward to year one.

Thank you both hen & chicken (!) for supportive posts & making me feel more normal. I am glad ds had a happy year chicken x I was (reasonably) ok about it all until the homeschooling comment from a teacher sent me into an anxious tizzy. But I realise anyone working at a primary - and year R particularly - will naturally want the children to settle & will work hard to help this.

Reading posts on MN makes it soumd as if the teachers are determined to scupper any attempts to get them to read, suppress their natural tendencies and will ignore them or shout at them. Other children are little thugs waiting to pounce on and bully your precious child.

The reality is that most of the time most children in most schools are happy. Get a good dialogue with the teacher, be open and friendly with other parents (without expecting they will be your new bestie). Yes he is growing up but there will still be cuddles and fun after school, at the weekend and in the holidays. Just think if you didn't send him then you would have to teach him about split diagraphs, modal verbs and subjunctive clauses yourself!

My eldest starts nursery this week and I'm dreading it. I've always been a stay at home mum so she has never been in child care before.

I can't help wonder what your friend means

I'm a teacher, know very well what schools are like, and my children have never expressed negativity about school. That is despite the eldest being dyslexic and not receiving appropriate support (she's still happy) and the youngest being five only last week and heading to year 1 still unable to form half his letters or manage a week without wetting himself. He doesn't care about that. He is looking forward to seeing his friends, school puddings, playtime, PE, the new classroom, Miss Perfect (or whoever current teacher is - she'll be young and beautiful and the best person ever by Tuesday morning at 9.30). Big sister is looking forward to wearing her new blouses, seeing if her friends have the same school shoes, playing Harry Potter at playtime, using her new fountain pen.
There are niggles with the school - but I don't let the children see/ hear those.

Probably said the wrong thing there if you're sad about your child going to school. But the reality is that they do, almost always, adore their teachers. It's normal. As a teacher you're rejected by your old class at approximately 9.05 on the first day back and then new teacher is swamped by 'best teacher ever' notes. By breaktime, your pockets are filled with them from your new crowd. Children grow from 'mummy/ daddy know everything' to 'My teacher says...'.

I hope that the good times far outweigh the bad and I still believe that for most children, in most classrooms, in most schools, that is the case.

Ah parrot you didn't say the wrong thing at all - it's the happy kids and their viewpoint that I was hoping to hear so it was lovely. DS was besotted with his preschool key worker so I can well imagine a Miss Perfect pedestal - but that's a great thing. Feeling much better for the positivity, thank you.

We had the best primary experience I could hope for.

My DTs instantly clicked with a group of friends and stayed together throughout.

I have so much praise and respect for the HT and staff. It was the making of them.

They start different secondary schools this week, as do their friends. I hope they have the same positive experience.

I was very sad when my DD started Reception last year - for similar reasons, she was my little buddy and I loved hanging out with her. But there are so many joyous things about this new phase - I've volunteered on a couple of school trips and thats been a lovely and v positive insight into how her class is together. It's a real pleasure seeing her love of learning develop and getting little notes as she masters writing. It's lovely when she "teaches" you things she's been learning. She reads to her little brother now and it's lovely seeing the pleasure and pride she gets from it. The school nativities and concerts are adorable and it's really nice to see how your child has a whole community their part of, I also like having her little friends over from tea and hearing them chatter away and finally over the school holidays quite simple things can become extra special.

Oh OP I just wanted to chime in to say i feel exactly the same - DS was only 4 in June and I just can't get over the fact that my baby is going to big school!
That said, he has been at nursery and loves it, I'm sure he will love school, but I am so not ready for my baby to be at school!
(Makes me yearn for another baby )

YES mooey!! I am so broody and want to do it all over again, such a happy time. I really appreciate all your posts, thank you.

Meow I am sorry to hear you have all had a shitty year, I hope all works out brilliantly at the new school & great that you're positive

I have happy kids - they have done well at school and been happy to go every day. They are both teens now and still like school.

At the start I was worried - my DDs are like me - quiet, not big on socialising - generally happier in small groups. But they found their own space.

What I feel was just as important for their feelings of well-being was taking up other activities - things outside of school - Brownies/cadets/swimming etc - so they got a mix of friends - not just relying on school friendship groups - helped them to be more outgoing sorts. (less "my best friend", more "my friends" since most school issues seem to boil down to bullying or BFF problems)

Mine were ok - second was a breeze to be honest as he'd been almost every day for three years to drop and pick up his big sister
Let the teachers lead you - my DC had the same reception teacher who was brilliant, she could read key signs and offered a hand hold to my DD eldest when she was wobbly and cue'd me to scarper before DD saw me and melt down may have ensued - it's not all about the kids often mum's feel pain and it can pass to the children so take the teachers advice

If your friend is a teacher and says negatives about school, I do assume she isn't a great teacher.
It's important that children learn things from many different people, exposed to different environment, children with different personality, learn to deal with life outside of comfort of protection from your parents. School is a great place. If you only think about academic ability, you may be able to teach your dc to the standard you expect from school at home. But it's not all that matters in their life.

Miaowthecat there is no reason to swear at me. Should you care to look at my history you will see that we have moved a child due to safeguarding issues which the school spectacularly failed to address. I realise that it can be sensitive and I am in no way belittling the experience of those who have had difficulties. I hope the new school works out well.

Having said that, most children in most schools are happy most of the time. People come onto MN looking for advice for difficult situations and people try to help them, that does mean though that many of the posts will make it seem as if primary school is beset with difficulties. I don't tend to post 'my son did well in his maths test and was star of the week then he went to a whole class party and everyone had a lovely time.' I would post about problems which I was looking for advice on. That is not to say that children don't have problems and don't sometimes need to move schools. My dd is far happier in her new school. There is however no indication from the OP that her son at the moment is likely to be anything other than most children who most of the time in most schools are generally happy.

When our eldest was going to secondary school it felt from looking on the secondary board and talking to people that secondary school was going to be one long gauntlet of school uniform issues, social media nightmares, lost pe kit, detentions for sneezing etc. I posted a thread and lots of people reassured me that actually their child loved secondary more than primary and that the doom and gloom was not too bad. Happily our experiences and those of her friends have confirmed this. She is even happier at secondary school than she was at primary and she loved her primary and was reluctant to leave. I imagine the OP will have the occasional experience that her son should be on a higher book level or he hasn't had the manky class teddy to look after yet but thankfully for most children in most schools their experience at school is good and they enjoy it.

I felt quite emotional reading this! I'm retired now but I had over 40 years of working in Infant schools and welcoming new Reception children and I loved every minute of it. It's such a special time and, though many parents shed a little tear as they leave their DCs for the first time, 99% of the children skip in happily and love every minute of it. Reception staff are amazing people - warm, empathetic and really tuned in to every little individual in their care - your DS is very likely to love it.

Thank you all so so much I feel infinitely better & know that in ds's little world he will likely thrive. I don't know where my friends comment came from, I didn't ask her to elaborate as I knew she wouldn't be 100% frank knowing we are just about to start school. She is a lovely kind enthusiastic teacher & passionate about early years so it was hard to hear & made me wonder when/how DS will be vulnerable. She did say positively that school prepares kids for life so she will still send her dd. Conundrum - it certainly threw me off balance so your happy stories have helped

Maybe I misread your friend's comment. She may have meant about crazy Sats and unreasonable expectations the children face these days. Then I can sort of see what she meant. In that case, sorry!
But I still think school is a great place for children.