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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Kicking and screaming

12 replies

Shopkinsdoll · 01/09/2017 20:17

My 5 year old has just started primary one, in Scotland. It started off ok. My sister took her in after her first day as I had work and my sis was on holiday. This is her second week, I tried to drop her and her 7 year old brother at breakfast club but she didn't want me to leave, kicking screaming, biting!! I had to end up getting my mum to take her as I had work at 9. She went in fine with her and said she wanted to go to the breakfast club, but was to late. I'm stressing as the plan was put them into breakfast club at 8.30 then straight to work for 9. I can't rely on my mum all the time. I was twenty min late the other day for work, I was so upset with her crying. When she's in school she's fine and happy. I'm sure it's separation anxiety. Help

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Mrscropley · 01/09/2017 20:20

Speak to the school. When my dd had anxiety attacks they made sure a support worker was available to hand her over to before breakfast club so I could make a quick get away. Fussing over her made it worse. She settled almost immediately after I left. The she wasn't gawped at going into the club in tears. Lasted a couple of weeks.

Balfe · 01/09/2017 20:28

Ah it's totally normal. Any P1 teacher has seen it before!

Be very short and sweet. Kiss goodbye and go- please don't linger. Every single child I have taught who have done this settles down almost immediately. I've never had to phone home or send for help.

sheep73 · 01/09/2017 22:55

My son is an expert at this - if his Dad or someone else drops him off he's fine and he goes straight in with no drama. If I try to take him its trauma and tears... the nursery teacher just tells me to run away now. It was more traumatic for me than him..

Lifechallenges · 02/09/2017 00:17

Be firm. Drop and run. Been there with both of mine. Eventually they adapt and the drama goes. I agree with previous posters !

Original poster

Shopkinsdoll · 02/09/2017 11:12

Thanks everyone, the problem is I drop my daughter (well try to) at the breakfast club with her brother, he skips in happy with his friends. She has a wee friend to go in with too. But the breakfast club, are only maned by two women who hand out the food and look over the kids, there isn't really any school assistants to help out. They only seem to come out when the bell rings and the kids go to their classes. I might email the head and see if she can help. I start work at 9 so can't wait till the bell goes as I will be late for work. I know it's not the schools problem that I will be late. The only other option is taking her to a childminder before school and she can take her to school and give her breakfast. She's fine in school, enjoys it but it's the initial separation from me that's the problem.

OP posts:

jamdonut · 02/09/2017 21:16

Agree with the above...please don't fuss over a screaming ,crying child! Say goodbye, hand them over...make a quick getaway. Honestly, children are fine a very short while after you have gone, in my experience.

ElizabethShaw · 02/09/2017 21:21

Speak to the breakfast club people - you might have to go in and physically hand her over to one of them at least initially.

RyanSarah2010 · 03/09/2017 10:33

Yes mabye just get one of them to take her hand in. Could try tomorrow thanks

Fekko · 03/09/2017 10:40

I've yourself extra time in the morning. Have a 'get ready' schedule - wake up, wash, breakfast, dress, brush teeth , shoes on and out the door. Have clothes laid or the night before and bags all packed. If you pack a lunch discus what's going in it.

Be calm and cool. Quick peck on the cheek and shove her thought the door 'have a lovely day! See you at pick up time - I'll bring a snack!' And march off without looking back.

Mention it to the teachers - they will have seen it a million times. Week one is usually fine and the meltdowns come week 2!

jjbutt · 04/09/2017 00:09

she is playing you! Drop and go- a non-issue

Original poster

Shopkinsdoll · 06/09/2017 18:48

Thanks for all your replies. This week I have taken her to breakfast club, I stood in th line with her and helped her with her tray and coco pops. She was actually shaking a little because she was scared. Her brother sat next to her, I gave her a kiss then left. If I need to go in and help her settle, that's what I'll do just now. I'm early for my work anyway so I have a little time to spare. Long may it continue. Just thankful there aren't any more tears as it's horrible to watch especially when I have to go to my work.

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chickenowner · 08/09/2017 14:29

Just to add to the other voices who say that this happens every year and the school staff will be used to it.

Talk to them - I'm sure that they will have strategies to deal with it.

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